The Devil Wears Nada
by New Neon
Summary: Getting involved with an incubus probably isn't the smartest of ideas but Sanji is hard to resist.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh no you fucking don't!" Zoro shouts, leaping over his sofa and grabbing his swords off of the wall. He turns around, weapons drawn, and stares at the demon advancing on him. If the small horns poking out of the hair of the man wasn't enough of a clue then the long thin tail with the diamond shaped end would have tipped him off. This is a demon in his house.

"I know what you are, I've done demonology!" He tells him, though in truth Zoro is still mentally narrowing down just what kind he is.

"Oh really?" The demon purrs, looking up at Zoro through a curtain of blonde hair as it advances on Zoro with a particularly slinky and self confident walk. There's a casual swing of the demon's hips like Zoro is absolutely no threat at all. Zoro is about halfway sure that his blades will work on this demon but he's not sure enough to want to start a brawl, he will if it comes to that though. But he knows what he's dealing with now at least.

"Yeah, you're an incubus, I can see that much." Zoro says firmly. It's true though, what the demon is wearing is mostly suggestive jewelry and a pair of painted on leather trousers that are cut so low that Zoro can actually see the suggestive trail of hair plunging down there.

"Handsome and smart, lucky me." the demon says, licking its lips. Zoro lowers his swords, demons like this can't fight humans, they're bound not to. They can cause a fuck load of damage to anything not completely human though and Zoro knows from his tests that he is 100% all natural human, no changeling ancestry at all or anything else of interest either. He's in no danger here.

The demon slings its arms around Zoro's neck and fixes Zoro with a seductive smile, plastering itself up against Zoro's body.

"Or should I say, lucky you." he says smoothly into Zoro's ear. Zoro grins, this is going to be fun.

"Lucky me, huh?" Zoro says.

"Mmm hmm, I can do things for you that you couldn't even dream of, give you a night you'll never forget." the demon promises.

"Yeah I bet, anyone who fucks you gets their soul sucked out of them and dies, it'll be the last thing they do." Zoro snorts.

"So what? Everyone's gotta go sometime and believe me, this is one of the best ways to go." he says breathily into Zoro's ear and licks along the line of Zoro's earrings.

"Sorry, no." he denies the demon, pushing him away. The demon backs off a little and looks Zoro up and down assessingly.

"Well, I can always get off on my own, I'm sure you'll want to join me sooner or later." the demon says with a wicked smile, Zoro can see his fangs.

The demon runs his hands down his sculpted chest and abs, his skin suddenly shiny and slick as if he's been rubbed over with oil. He looks like he could be advertising underwear, or more likely, porn. His breath is fast and his eyes half lidded, his lips parted just a little and his hips twitch slightly, every inch of him screams sex.

Zoro sheathes his swords and hangs them back on the wall.

"Not interested." He tells the demon.

"Well aren't you full of surprises. I almost never get anyone as rigidly heterosexual enough to resist me, but sure, I can play it your way." The demon says with a pout that turns lipsticked as the blond's hair lengthens into luscious waves worthy of a l'oreal advert assuring that he is indeed worth it. The demon slinks over, curvaceous hips and large but perky breasts straining against thin fabric bikini covering them, she bats thick eyelashes at Zoro and with a totally fake 'ah' the demon gasps and the bikini finally gives up, her breasts bouncing free of their confines.

"Aren't you supposed to be able to tell what gets someone off?" Zoro asks her, although now she has changed back to the male form that the demon had when he walked in here.

"For fuck's sake." The demon huffs without a trace of irony and flicks through various forms, androgynous, elf, fae and quickly though some animal hybrid and about ten others.

"Alright what the fuck? I can't see any wards on you so what gives? Just tell me what you want and I'll be it, right now I'm up for the challenge okay?" The demon growls. Shit, the agitation on the blond's face is comical and Zoro can't resist fucking with him, metaphorically of course.

"It's not you, it's me." He taunts and the demon looks like he wants to set everything that Zoro loves on fire.

"Just tell me already!" It shouts.

"Nothing you do is going to work, you can't force me into wanting you, that's not how this works. Anything I do has to be freely given. So nothing you do will matter to me, I'm asexual, you can't make me want you no matter what. It's nothing personal, you look nice and all but-" Zoro starts to say but the demon angrily interrupts him.

"NICE?! NICE is- I have never been so insulted!" He squawks indignantly.

"I would say I'm sorry but I'm not." Zoro laughs at him.

"Shit, I'm stuck here until I get your soul, I can't go back without it the portal back won't open until I have your soul and if you're not going to agree then I can't..." The demon sighs, rubbing its temples in stress.

"Okay, right, everything works doesn't it? I'm sure you jerk off, that's just a physical mortal thing, all animals do it. Can't you just... jerk off and I'll jump in at the last moment. That'll work." The demon says with a frown.

"Why would I ever do that? I'm not going to give you my soul!" Zoro exclaims.

"Oh come on, I can't get back home unless I have your soul!" he pleads.

"That's your problem, not mine." Zoro tells him irritably.

"Great, just perfect. I'm stuck on the human plane forever now unless I can figure out a way back! Maybe I could get the witch to cancel the contract but... I don't think she can, when I showed up I agreed to it and we can't break that stuff. Shit, I need to think." The demon groans and falls back onto Zoro's sofa.

"Well, I was just about to watch a movie before you showed up so I'm gonna go do that." he tells the demon. The blond says nothing but just grunts to Zoro. He ignores him and goes to make popcorn. He settles down onto the sofa and puts the film on, he'd been meaning to watch this for a while.

The demon starts paying attention right when Brad Pitt is threatening to have 'the bear jew' crack the nazi's skull open with a baseball bat.

"He's one of ours." The demon pipes up.

"Brad Pitt's a demon?" Zoro asks in surprise.

"Nah, he made a deal for his soul in exchange for fame and fortune. He's a good actor though, he would have made it without us but we weren't going to tell him that. Not my line of work of course but still." The demon tells him and reaches over to snag some of the popcorn and watch the movie.

"Huh, that's a shame." Zoro says thoughtfully and the demon shrugs. They watch the film in relative silence with the demon piping up occasionally with questions from references that he doesn't get. It's... nice actually. When they do talk a little it feels good and Zoro knows that's not demon magic or anything, the guy is irritating but it's kinda fun.

Just as the film is closing though Zoro notices the demon crying silently, his face pressed into his arm.

"Are you getting weepy over watching hundreds of people blown up and shot to death?" Zoro asks incredulously, this guy is a demon for crying out loud!

"No. Although that's pretty good. I'm just... never mind." The demon sniffs rubbing his face on his sleeve. The demon switched into clothes that were presumably more comfortable than what he had been wearing to seduce Zoro, now he's in skinny jeans and an oversized black sweatshirt.

"No, what is it?" Zoro asks curiously.

"Like you care." he says bitterly.

"Humor me." Zoro says and the demon looks at him, his eyes a little red and not from any kind of demon traits. He's genuinely a little bloodshot from crying. His cheeks are even a little puffy, he looks pitiful.

"It's just... without your soul I'm stuck here on the human plane for all eternity. I'm never going to get to see my friends or my old man ever again." he says in a choked up voice.

"You have families? A father?" he asks the demon in surprise. None of his demonology textbooks said that.

"Oh fuck you, of course we do, we're still people! Just because we're not mortal doesn't mean we don't have lives and people we care about! But no, he's not my father, I nearly died once when I was really young and he saved my life, I owe him and... he's not... all bad. Even if we fight a lot I'm gonna miss him and now I'm never going to see him again." the demon says, looking down at Zoro's floor. Zoro frowns, this isn't a trick, being pathetic is hardly a way to get into Zoro's pants and even if it was Zoro still isn't sexually interested in him. He still feels a little bad for the guy though.

"Does it have to be a whole soul? What about life force?" He asks warily. The demon looks up at him in confusion, yeah, this isn't a trick.

"I... I guess that could work. It'd be enough to get me through the portal and if I got back I could try to get my contract annulled, if it's unfulfillable it ought be void if I can take it to the right people. I can't do that from this side so... but it doesn't matter, you're not going to agree to anything sexual, even for a lesser deal. You still have to be into it and you're not, right?" the demon says sadly.

"Forget that for a moment, what would a kiss give you?" Zoro questions him. The demon looks at him in shock.

"A... kiss?" He says in quiet surprise.

"Yeah, a kiss." Zoro repeats.

"I uh... I don't know. I've never had to look it up before." The demon says awkwardly.

"You're a SEX DEMON and you've never kissed anyone?" Zoro laughs, that's absurd!

"Shut up asshole! I'm not a kissing demon, I'm an incubus thank you very much! I show up and fuck people's souls out, I've never even had to wait five minutes before I've got them begging for more!" He shouts angrily but that only makes it funnier.

"So look it up then." Zoro tells him after his laughter has subsided. The demon is red in the face with anger and embarrassment.

The demon huffs, his blonde hair fluttering at the action and he snaps his fingers causing a piece of paper to burst into existence with a flicker of flame.

"Let me see." The demon says, sliding on a pair of glasses. He needs glasses? That's just... that's kind of sweet. Zoro doesn't say anything though because the demon most likely won't appreciate it.

"Oh, here we are. A kiss... that's half a day off of your life." he tells Zoro and the paper disappears.

Zoro hums thoughtfully and considers it. If it weren't for the horns and the flicking tail that's curled around the demon's feet Zoro could mistake him for a human, a conventionally attractive one apparently, but a human nonetheless. Still...

"Why does it matter though? Kissing is a sexual thing and you don't-" the demon starts to say.

"It's also a romantic thing." Zoro tells him.

"You can do that without sexual things?" he asks in confusion.

"Sure, I've been romantically involved with people before. You go on dates, have dinner out and go to the movies if you want, you spend time with them, kiss them and fall in love if you like them that much. It's just like any other romantic relationship just without the sex stuff. I've done that before." he explains.

"Oh. You... but you have to be romantically interested in me for that and..." The demon trails off and his cheeks are actually going a little bit red.

"Well, you're not so bad. You seem to have okay taste in movies and you're kind of funny, pissing you off is pretty fun too." Zoro tells him and the demon stares at him.

"Besides, I feel bad trapping you on the human plane for all eternity. For half a day I think it'd be worth it." he adds. The demon is looking at him with wide eyes.

"You'd do that for me?" the demon asks quietly, staring at Zoro in wonder.

"Yeah. So do you want to go back or don't you?" Zoro challenges him, he's not going to offer to kiss a guy if he's going to have to talk him around to it this much.

"Yes! I've just never kissed anyone before, I don't really know how and if you're going to give up half a day of your life I don't want to be... bad at it." The demon says, his voice trailing off into an embarrassed mumble at the end. Zoro grins, yeah, he can work with this. It's not quite a romantic crush on the guy but it's close.

"Don't worry, I'll lead. Half a day of my life, do we have a deal?" Zoro asks, leaning into the demon's space, his head not far from the other man's.

"Yeah." the demon agrees with a nod. He looks nervous.

Zoro leans in, his hand just touching the side of the demon's face and gently guiding him into the right angle so that Zoro can kiss him and not knock the glasses off that the demon forgot to take off. He kisses the demon, he keeps it pretty chaste but he moves his lips against the demon's enough that it's not just a quick peck on the lips. The demon makes this surprised little noise and clutches his hands in Zoro's shirt.

Zoro pulls away but the demon follows him, almost close enough that they're still kissing him.

"Another? Free of charge, I promise. Please?" The demon asks quietly, his mouth moving close to Zoro's. Well, if it's free...

He kisses the demon again, this time it's a little more intense and he feels the demon shiver slightly. When Zoro really does pull back this time the demon is flushed and looking for all the world like a guy who just had his first kiss, Zoro supposes that he is.

"That was... I mean, thank you." The demon says awkwardly but Zoro catches the way the the demon's eyes flick to Zoro's lips again. The demon gets to his feet and straightens out his clothes, not quite able to look at Zoro. He snaps his fingers and a portal to hell opens up in Zoro's living room, not something that's happened to him before. The demon walks to it and hesitates. He looks back at Zoro and then at the floor.

The demon closes his eyes for a moment and then a paper appears in his hands.

"You can have this, if you like. It's a summoning spell just for me. It's got my true name on there. I'm Sanji. You can use that to call me here if you want, no price attached to it so I can come and go without you having to pay anything with your life or your soul." he says, handing the paper to Zoro. Zoro looks down at it in stunned shock. Knowing a demon's true name is a huge thing, Zoro could completely abuse that knowledge and the guy has just given him a spell to pull him out of hell whenever he feels like it.

"We could... maybe do that date thing. If you wanted to I mean." The demon, no, Sanji says. He looks so painfully awkward about this that Zoro can't help but find it both endearing and funny. He doesn't laugh though, that would be genuinely mean.

"Yeah, we could." Zoro agrees and looks down at the paper again.

"Okay, I should go. It was nice, I mean, it was great meeting you. I'll see you again sometime maybe, if you're interested." he says and then hops into the portal before Zoro can say goodbye or anything else for that matter. The portal disappears with a pop and Zoro looks down at the paper with a smile. He just essentially scored a demon's phone number. Nice.


	2. Chapter 2

"I feel ridiculous in this." Sanji complains, fussing with the beanie hat covering his horns for at least the millionth time that night.

"Well if you don't want to come out with me you don't have to." Zoro points out.

"No! I... it was my idea. I want to." Sanji tells him, looking urgent. Zoro glances down and notices that he can see Sanji's tail curling around the demon's leg. Sanji doesn't seem to be super aware of what his tail does but it's starting to get easier for Zoro to get a read on him with it.

In all honesty Zoro had hesitated about summoning Sanji again and had hand copied a version of the summoning spell and after making sure that Sanji's name wasn't in it he got Robin to look it over for him. The witch was way better than him at checking out spells. She had confirmed though that there was nothing untoward in the spell and it really was just a stringless summoning spell. Somehow an incubus wanted to see him so much that he risked so much and agreed to come to the human plane just for that. That's certainly one way to get Zoro's attention.

When he had summoned Sanji he was back in his literally sinful outfit, this time some shirt that was entirely pointless as it was made entirely of some kind of see through fabric and then a pair of just as see through trousers with only underwear covering what little modesty Sanji had.

"take the contraaaact? Zoro!" Sanji had trailed off, jumping slightly at the sight of him. Sanji snapped his fingers and changed back into more normal looking jeans and a t-shirt.

So that was how he got to where he is now, walking down the street with a slightly fussy Sanji. The blond had awkwardly asked him if Zoro could take him on one of these 'dates' and yeah, the demon had actually quoted it. Zoro however had pointed out that Sanji stood out a lot in his natural form and so the man was out in a long coat and a hat, pretty bundled up for spring but Sanji did come from a hell dimension so it's not exactly hot for him.

"Come on then, movie and then dinner is the basic starter date but we're not gonna get there if you keep bitching." He tells Sanji and reaches up to tug the hat over the small red horns where they were starting to show through. Incubi can shape shift into anything but they can never lose the horns and tail, it's just one of the rules they seem to have to stick to. Sanji stares at him with wide eyes and Zoro can hear that Sanji has held his breath. Sanji is clearly unbelievably nervous about this.

Zoro steps away from him and starts walking again. He checks the palm of his hand, the navigation spell that his friends put on him years ago is pointing him to where he wants to go.

"Why are you using that?" Sanji asks, apparently having shaken his nerves off. The demon stares down at the arrow on Zoro's hand.

"Oh, it's a spell that my friends made for me, it counteracts the curse I have." He answers with a shrug.

Sanji squints at him and frowns.

"I wasn't looking for it before but yeah, that's a really nasty curse. Generational too, one of your ancestors clearly pissed off some really powerful magic user. Just like you it seems. Did you ever find out who wanted you to get your soul sucked out by me?" Sanji asks curiously.

"Yeah, a fucking witch two years above me in my academy. She's obsessed with one of my friends and I caught her sneaking him a love potion, he's immune to them because he's not all human but it's still a shitty thing to do to someone." Zoro scowls.

"Yeah, even I don't do that to people." Sanji frowns and Zoro hears the smack of his tail lashing against his coat.

"Well I caught her and accused her of it and told her to stay away from him and apparently she took that badly. Didn't you know who she was? She summoned you the first time after all." he points out.

"No, incubi and succubi don't get to see the people who summoned them. We can accidentally take their souls if they decide that they want us and that's against our contract, we just get sent right to the target." Sanji explains casually.

Zoro looks down at his hand and turns left. The arrow spins back around towards him and he realises that he should have turned right.

"That is a REALLY bad curse. Do you want me to take a look at it?" Sanji offers and Zoro stares at the demon.

"You could do something about it? I was told it was unbreakable." He asks in shock.

"For you humans maybe, come on, let me see." Sanji boasts and tugs Zoro into an alleyway.

"This is gonna give a bit of a light show so..." Sanji says, explaining their location.

Sanji's eyes glow red and Zoro sees the curl of hellfire around his form. Zoro has to remind himself over and over inside his head that Sanji cannot harm him, but seeing serious demon magic up close like this makes his hair stand on end and tells him to get the hell out of there. Zoro notices the start of a ward forming in his own hands and clearly Sanji notices too.

"Oh shit, sorry. Reflex, I trust you." he apologises quickly and Sanji ducks his head, muttering some embarrassed insult at him.

Sanji seems to regain his focus though and he presses his hands to Zoro's chest and pulls back, only when he does there's words and symbols circling in the air in a sick and rotted shade of purple. It's his curse.

"This is old shit. Hmn... you can break it but it's super specific. Someone was really strong to make the conditions as near impossible as this." Sanji sighs and lets it go, his appearance returning to normal.

"How?" Zoro asks. If he can break the curse then he really wants to! He doesn't care about it being on him so much, he's used to it even though it's a real pain in his life. But it is generational, he knew that much, and his sister has it too and at this rate her kids will have it. But the thing with generational curses is that if it breaks on one person who has it everyone else affected by it is free too.

"On a full moon you have to walk in a circle, counter clockwise three times..." Sanji starts.

"That sounds easy enough so far." Zoro nods.

"On the moon." Sanji adds flatly.

"Are you shitting me? That's impossible!" Zoro yells and then realises that he shouldn't be shouting when there's a demon still crackling with the afterglow of hellfire, someone could look over and see.

"Not impossible, that's the key, it wouldn't work if it was. You know that. You'd need someone who could get you a portal there AND back, plus a serious protection and breathing spell. If you had that you could do it." Sanji explains and notes that the hellfire has died down. He fusses with his hat again.

"Well, I've got a friend who is a weather witch, she could do the breathing spell for me and another friend could do a protection spell but I have no idea if it would be strong enough to last in space. It doesn't matter though because no one on earth can teleport me there and back." Zoro says with a scowl. Fuck whoever made this curse.

"No one from earth, no." Sanji says quietly and Zoro looks up from angrily glaring at the pavement to Sanji looking at him seriously.

"You could take me?" He asks in wonder.

"Zoro, I could take you anywhere in the universe, if you took my hand I could take you anywhere you wanted. The moon is as easy as that for me." Sanji clicks his fingers and vanishes, he returns a moment later with a rock in his hand and Zoro doesn't have to guess to work out that it's a moon rock. He takes it from Sanji in numb surprise, Usopp would freak out if Zoro gave him this.

"Anywhere in the universe?" Zoro wonders aloud.

"There are worlds out there that you humans haven't even seen through your telescopes or your scrying pools. Worlds where humans could breathe and live just fine. You can't even imagine them Zoro, I could take you there easily. The moon is nothing." Sanji says with a smile.

Zoro stares at him and this time he's pretty sure that it's him blushing now.

"And you've never dated anyone before?" He says, his heart in his chest.

"What does that have to do with anything? And no, I haven't." Sanji scowls, clearly thinking that Zoro is making fun of him.

"A date to an untouched alien world that humans have never seen and apparently can't imagine sounds like a pretty amazing date to me." Zoro points out and Sanji's head jerks up in surprise.

"You'd like that?" Sanji asks, clear hope in his voice.

"Yeah, I would. Dinner and a movie sounds kind of shit in comparison." Zoro admits awkwardly. He figured that he'd just start Sanji in at the shallow end but fuck, that kind of thing sounds amazing.

"No, no it doesn't. I've been to those places before, but this... this is new to me. I'd like to see human romantic things since... since you said you'd take me on a date." Sanji assures him.

Zoro looks at the demon and finds himself amazed for at least the tenth time tonight. He's studied demons in the academy for years but having a real live one here, one that doesn't want to hurt him, it's amazing. What Sanji considers normal is so incredible to him and what Zoro considers normal is apparently wondrous to Sanji. It's exciting.

He gets closer and kisses Sanji, just lightly but Sanji reacts as if Zoro has done something incredible and life altering he melts and clings to Zoro needily and Zoro can't help but kiss him again, it's pretty flattering to be able to affect Sanji that much. When he pulls back Sanji looks thoroughly swept off of his feet. The interesting thing is that he can tell that this isn't a sex thing for Sanji. Sanji is literally a demon of sex and lust, nothing like that would phase him, but this is emotional and Sanji seems utterly overwhelmed by it.

"That would be a pretty amazing second date." he tells Sanji quietly and the blond nods so hard his head might fall off.

"Yes, okay, second date, yes, great, I can- yes." Sanji says in one long stream. Zoro laughs and pulls Sanji out of the alleyway, they're going to miss their movie.

Throughout the night Sanji continues to be amazed by everything that Zoro does. He's already aware of films and popcorn of course but being in an actual movie theatre is new for him, apparently people don't stupidly summon incubi for sex in movie theaters which is good to know.

"Okay, I'm curious. We don't know a lot about demons what with the fact that you usually are trying to kill us or get our souls." Zoro says after the waiter leaves, having given them their food.

"Hey, everyone's gotta do something for a living." Sanji shrugs and Zoro's mind boggles at the apparent mundanity of conning humans out of their souls.

"But answer me this. I know people can become demons if they get corrupted enough or make a big deal, but is that how you're all made? Were you human once?" He asks and eats a forkful of pasta.

"No, I was born a demon. The more humans there are the more demons they are, we have to expand to keep up with you." Sanji answers with a shrug.

"Did you choose to be an incubus or is that like... a species?" He asks and watches Sanji bite into his steak, sharp fangs cutting through it easily.

"No... it's not a job. Well, it is, but I've always had it. After I'd grown up a little I mean, then I had to train and learn the right magic... but yeah. Always have been." Sanji answers with a shrug.

"But did you choose it? Or did you have to be one?" Zoro presses him eagerly. Sanji chews his steak and looks displeased.

"I didn't choose it. It's inherited. A family thing really, not that I know my parents. A demon hunter killed them when I was really young and nearly killed me too. My old man saved me." Sanji tells him and guilt runs down the back of Zoro's neck, thick and uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." he apologises quietly.

"It's fine. It was a very long time ago, anyway, you'd be hard pressed to find any demon who hasn't lost someone to a human. We take your souls when we can and you kill us. I guess it's just how it goes." Sanji tells him but Zoro gets the sense that it bothers Sanji more than he says it does.

"No, making your date talk about how their parents died is a bad thing to do on a date." Zoro tells him and Sanji takes his gaze from the steak and looks at Zoro.

"Is it?" Sanji asks.

"Yeah, it is." he nods.

"How about I trade you. My parents were killed by fae, that's why I trained to be a witch." Zoro tells him.

"Ugh. I hate fae." the demon says bitterly and stabs a potato with a fork.

"Demons are allergic right?" he asks.

"Yeah, they feel awful and their magic hurts like you wouldn't believe." Sanji growls and it reverberates through the room enough that people look around. Humans are hardwired to fear demons when they're not hiding themselves. Sanji jolts and makes himself unreasonably beautiful, he gives himself a rugged jawline, designer stubble and magazine worthy clothes. Sanji presses his palm to the table and the ripple of glamour spreads outwards along with a slow... kind... of...

Everything feels fine. What was he thinking about? Zoro keeps trying to look at the man opposite him but aside from registering that he's incredibly handsome his eyes skip over him and he finds that he can't remember what he was doing. He feels nice.

Fingers snap in front of his face and a man who looks slightly like Sanji appears, the fog in Zoro's brain lifts.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to hit you with that too but I needed to get everyone." the man tells him.

"Sanji? You look... really different. That's some pretty hardcore glamour there, I knew that you weren't real when I first met you but this isn't so obvious. I can still see it though, even if you didn't look different from before." Zoro frowns.

"Sorry, let me just..." Sanji looks around and checks that no one is looking before he drops back down to how he was a moment ago. Now that Zoro's looking at him though he can still see something wrong. Zoro frowns as his memory recalls the spell but as he runs it around his fingers he knows that it's right. He holds his hand out near Sanji's face and sees the light blue flicker over the blond's skin.

"You're still glamoured." Zoro says slowly. Sanji stares down at his plate uncomfortably.

"So? It's a date, aren't you supposed to look good?" Sanji mutters and pokes at what remains of his steak.

"Sure, for someone that you're trying to impress or get into bed with, but you already know that how you look doesn't do anything for me, so this isn't for me. So why are you wearing it? What's your true form?" he asks.

Sanji chews his lip uncertainly and looks warily at Zoro. Is Sanji anxious right now?

"Do you really want to see? It's not impressive or anything. I don't have massive wings or anything really demonic looking if that's what you're hoping for." The blond says like it's no big deal.

"I'm just hoping to see what you really look like. Please? You don't have to if you don't want to." Zoro adds at the end, already aware that he's not exactly being polite on this date.

Sanji winces and shuts his eyes but he drops the glamour, the hint of it that his spell revealed dissipates. Sanji still looks more or less the same, only now Zoro can see that his skin isn't what the beauty industry calls perfect. He's got freckles and he's a little on the pale side. His ears are a bit pointed but it doesn't scream demon, if you can't see the horns and tail Sanji could easily be mistaken for a human with some non human parentage. His hair isn't the smooth slick waves that it appeared to be but instead it's unruly curls and waves that go in all sorts of directions, even under the hat that he's wearing it's pretty wild. Interestingly it isn't the brilliant gold blond that it was before, instead it's closer to a shade between blond and brown, something half and half. He's slightly skinnier too and as Sanji uneasily opens his eyes he can see that they're not the tropical ocean blue that they appeared to be, they're more of a pale blue that's almost grey.

Sanji snaps his fingers and slides on the same glasses that he had on before, he blinks once or twice as if adjusting to the change and looks at Zoro warily.

"That's it? You look almost exactly the same." Zoro says in surprise.

"I'd rather look like how I did a moment ago." Sanji mutters.

"I prefer you looking like you." he tells him and looks at Sanji some more. Zoro might not be attracted to people but he's not blind, he can appreciate good looks. Sanji's not model material right now, or not the conventional kind anyway, he's more boy-next-door looking. He's still very pretty and no doubt would still have women and men longing after him, but he looks more normal now and in Zoro's opinion better for it.

"Yeah, well. That makes one of us." Sanji grumbles, leaning back in his chair.

"An insecure incubus, that's something I never thought I would see. You can look however you're comfortable with Sanji, I was just curious. I'm not gonna tell you how to look." He tells him and Sanji makes a small gesture with his fingers and it back to looking how he did with the slightest bit of glamour on. He wonders if this is the demon equivalent of makeup. He keeps the glasses though.

"You're really interesting." He says after a moment and Sanji smiles slightly even though he still looks a little awkward about it.

After that it's Sanji's turn to question him. Sanji asks him about his sister and his friends, all of them witches except for his sister. You don't train at a magic academy without making friends with the other students. Or at least he hasn't. He tells Sanji about his taste in films, giving the other man an idea beyond the two that they've seen together. He answers weird questions that Sanji has about why humans like chocolate and why they like chili and why they sometimes put them together.

By the time that they walk back to where Zoro lives, thanks to the arrow on his hand, they've covered almost all of the normal first date topics, even though Sanji clearly doesn't get that it's what they're doing.

"You know, you're pretty good a this so called human dating thing. I wouldn't know it was a first for you." He tells Sanji as he opens the door to his home.

"Really?" the blond asks in obvious pleasure.

"Yeah." Zoro agrees, shutting the door after Sanji. The blond pauses in the middle of the room and looks around at Zoro.

"From what I understand this would be the point that I'd drag you into the bedroom and fuck your brains out, isn't that how human dates work?" Sanji says thoughtfully.

"Not for me, sorry to disappoint." Zoro sighs and tosses his keys into the tray by the door. If Sanji was hoping that Zoro would suddenly be attracted to him then he's going to be let down.

"No, I'm not disappointed. It's actually good to feel like this is different to what I usually do. Anyway, I like your soul where it is right now." Sanji tells him.

"Gee. Thanks." he says flatly.

"Zoro?" Sanji asks quietly.

"Yeah?" Zoro asks curiously.

"What I do... what I am I mean. The whole incubus thing isn't going to be a problem right? I do fuck _lots_ of people you know." Sanji tells him.

"I already knew that, I know what you are. And no, I don't care. It's not like I'm competing with them am I?" Zoro assures him.

"Not at all!" the incubus says brightly.

"I'm not sure there's a precedent for humans dating incubi or succubi but complaining about them being either seems kind of stupid." he reasons.

Sanji lights up in glee and Zoro's heart flutters a little at the sight of him.

"So I was good enough? We're dating then?" Sanji gasps, clutching his hands together. Jesus, if Sanji keeps being so sweet Zoro's gonna get sick from it like Chopper did at the fair with cotton candy.

"Yeah, I'd like that if you want to as well. But that does imply more dates..." Zoro trails off, hoping that Sanji will offer.

"Do you want me to take you to another planet? I can take you to another planet. I'll pick the best planet, it won't even rain glass or anything!" Sanji tells him excitedly.

"That sounds great." Zoro grins. Sanji beams and Zoro can already see him planning.

"Good night Sanji." Zoro tells him and leans in to kiss him gently. Sanji is almost buzzing with happiness by this point and when Zoro pulls back and smiles at him.

"Good night, I'd better go. I had a really great time Zoro. I'm glad that you summoned me back." Sanji smiles brightly.

"Yeah, me too." Zoro agrees and Sanji flashes him another bright smile before jumping into another portal to hell and vanishing. Zoro's just glad that doesn't affect the varnish on the floor, he'd hate to lose his security deposit.


	3. Chapter 3

"Brat! Your magazines are here!" Zeff shouts up the stairs, holding the stack in his arm with a scowl. Overly pretty men pouting on glossy pages look up at him and Zeff can't help but resent the humans that posed for these, they don't even know what they're doing but they'll make his kid miserable.

"Coming!" Sanji shouts and leaps down the stairs three at a time. Sanji rounds the corner suspiciously bright eyed and happy looking.

"Hn, you look happy." He tells Sanji, holding the magazines out of reach.

"I didn't realise that was a crime. Give them to me." Sanji demands, reaching up for the magazines. Sanji could just magic them out of Zeff's hands but he can do it back to Sanji and no one wants to get caught in an hour long tug of war like they have in the past.

"Why are you so happy?" Zeff asks suspiciously.

"None of your business, but don't worry it's wearing off. Now give me my magazines!" Sanji snaps at him and Zeff rolls his eyes. His kid isn't going to give up so he might as well hand them over.

"Here, go make yourself miserable with them." He sighs and Sanji magics them to his own hands now that Zeff isn't going to fight him for them.

"I'm not making myself miserable, I'm researching for work. If I don't keep up with what humans find attractive then I won't be any good, if incubi didn't do this then there'd be assholes running after humans in powdered wigs and ruffs. We _have_ to do it." Sanji insists.

"Yeah and you always spend weeks afterwards hating everything about yourself. You know that even _they_ don't look like this? It's all magic that they do afterwards with their… whatever you call them. The boxes with the pictures and the typing." Zeff says, tapping one pointed fingernail on the man on the cover.

"Computers old man, they're called computers. And what does it matter anyway? I have magic too." Sanji sneers, leaning forward and instantly looking just like the man on the cover including slicked red hair and the clearly altered jawline that the model doesn't even have.

"Yeah and how long can you hold glamour that thick?" he challenges. Sanji sighs and shakes it off, settling back to the low level of glamour he usually sticks at. He still doesn't have his glasses on though, kid's gonna give himself a migraine again.

"What does it matter? They stop noticing the fine details after ten minutes, tops." Sanji points out.

"So you get to spend all of your time never looking like yourself." Zeff argues back.

"I look how I HAVE to and how I WANT to!" Sanji shouts at him.

"Besides," Sanji mutters, clutching the magazines close to his chest. "There are only a couple of people who want to see what I really look like."

With that Sanji vanishes in a puff of smoke, no doubt only to the floor above. Zeff frowns, a couple of people? Usually Sanji would just shriek at him that Zeff was the only one who cared about that.

When dinner time rolls around and Sanji doesn't show up Zeff allows him an hour of grace, magazine day is one of the worst days of the month. Sure Sanji gets weekly ones but one or two don't hurt him that much. Today is the day when they all come at once, the glossy monthly high fashion ones especially. After an hour though Zeff is mad at his kid and awkwardly climbs the stairs on his own with Sanji's food in hand. He could just teleport up there but it's the principle of the thing.

He pushes Sanji's door open expect to find Sanji where he usually does at this time of night on magazine day, curled up in a ball under his blankets with a tearstained face, a broken mirror and magazine pages everywhere. All incubi make themselves look 'better' than they actually do, even when they're not working. But for some reason Sanji considers himself so far from how he's supposed to look that it hurts him over and over again.

Sanji isn't there though, his room isn't a mess and his mirror isn't shattered. Sanji isn't even in the room. Instead there are carefully removed pages from the magazines in a pile by the mirror and though the floor is littered with paper it's not fashion pages.

"What the hell?" Zeff mutters, looking down as he slides closer to them. They're not fashion shoots, they're star charts and Sanji is nowhere to be seen.


	4. Chapter 4

He really wants to have a second date with Sanji. He really wants to talk to him again, to spend time with him, even if Sanji doesn't take him to some alien world. Though the thought of that alone is enough to make him want to summon the demon back. It's the little things that make him want to call Sanji back, like how happily Sanji's tail was moving when he agreed that they were dating, how bright he smiled. He agreed to date Sanji.

He's regretted it a little sense then. Academically at least. Sanji is... Sanji is great. But he is still a demon. Sure, he means him no harm but surely the whole thing can't end well, right? Even if he imagines the most far out things, that Sanji will really love him even without Zoro ever being sexual with him, if he imagines that maybe Sanji is his one true love and he lives happily ever after with him and then dies a happy old man. Well... even then, he still dies. Sanji has been alive for who knows how long and he'll still be alive long after Zoro is dead. Is that an okay thing to do to Sanji? But then again if Sanji is far older than him, which he surely must be, then he's old enough to make his own choices.

But what if people find out about Sanji? He hadn't given Sanji much of the benefit of the doubt before can he really expect other-

"Zoro!"

Zoro jolts in his seat and looks up to see half of the class and his teacher staring at him. His teacher is looking considerably annoyed, pointed elven ears lowered in irritation.

"Uh..." He responds and his teacher glowers.

"I was asking a question about exorcisms, if you're not too busy to answer." The man says primly.

"Sure." He says and remembers right away that this teacher hates anything but strict politeness.

"If you would be so kind to enlighten us about demons that you cannot exorcise. How about..." The teacher trails off, narrowing blue eyes at Zoro. Zoro's mind flares over the idea of 'please not incubi' just as he remembers that the kind of surface urgent thoughts directed at him is just the kind of thing that teacher can read. Fucking elves.

"Incubi." The teacher says with a nasty smile. That fucker.

Zoro stands up and his brain whirrs over facts about incubi and everything that he knows about them. He's not exactly the world's best student but when he is good at a class he is very good at it. Demonology is one of his best subjects.

"Ah... people don't have a chance to exorcise incubi or succubi usually because it's very difficult to resist their lure," Zoro says, not saying that it's plenty easy if you're asexual. But maybe seeing as he's currently dating an incubus that might make it hard to argue that particular point.

"So you're saying that you don't know." The teacher says with a smile.

"No, I'm saying that there isn't a lot of data." Zoro replies stiffly.

"Regular demon traps don't work on incubi or succubi," He continues, he knows that damn well. His home has traps in it and Sanji didn't so much as bat an eyelid.

"A specific higher level demon trap will work but that requires set up that you don't usually get time for. If you can catch one though youcanexorcise him or her with one of Spina's spells but not Agrippa's. So, really I don't know why you asked me about incubi when you wanted to talk about demons that you can't exorcise because you can exorcise them." He says with a wide grin and sits down.

His teacher is furious, so much so that the air around him is starting to warp and shift unpleasantly and it's making Zoro's teeth itch. Stupid elven magic.

"You've got a smart mouth Roronoa. I expect a five thousand word essay on how to kill incubi on my desk by Monday of next week seeing as you're so convinced that you know more than the rest of the class." he says darkly and Zoro bites down on the insult that he wants to say.

Nami moves her hand on the desk next to him and the words 'nice job there, idiot' appear on Zoro's paper in Nami's curved script, having slid off of her page onto his. He shoots her an unimpressed look. It's not his fault that his teacher is an ass.

He's sat in front of his blank paper for the second hour in a row. He's gone back and forth through all of his demonology textbooks and extra ones that he got out of the library but he can't make himself start writing it. All he can think about is Sanji. He closes his eyes and sighs, Sanji's not sucking the soul out of him but he's not doing his grades any favors. He gives up and walks over to his sofa and sits on the arm, looking out at the window. He chants Sanji's incantation, only having to glance briefly at the scroll that he keeps in his bookcase between 'Dante's inferno' and 'basic runes' to do it.

No sooner have the words left his lips than a man appears in his living room along with a full length mirror that he has his hand wrapped around, apparently he was in the middle of adjusting it. Zoro jolts in alarm, that's not Sanji at all. It's only when the man turns to look at him that Zoro relaxes again. It's not Sanji's face that he sees, it's some movie star guy looking at him. Pale skin, dark eyes, and slicked back black hair that's only slightly marred by the smallish and slightly curved horns that Zoro recognizes. Zoro has a flicker of recognition just as Sanji drops the glamour.

"Hey, wasn't that the guy from that thing?" He asks with a frown. Sanji rolls his eyes and sighs despairingly.

"That guy. From that thing." Sanji repeats, squinting his eyes at Zoro.

"Yeah, you know. The film." Zoro elaborates.

Sanji groans and hides his face in the magazine that he's holding.

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a highly acclaimed actor and the object of many people's fantasies and if I could get his FUCKING EYEBROWS RIGHT then my night won't have been completely wasted!" Sanji snarls and turns back to his mirror, shrugging the actor's appearance back on.

"Oh great, now his nose is wrong too. I'm going to have to start all over." Sanji mutters and drops it again.

"Sorry, I didn't know that you were busy." Zoro says in embarrassment. It's not like Sanji just sits there waiting for Zoro to summon him, of course he has other things to do. It's interesting that the two things that he was holding came with him though, he didn't expect that from the spell but then again the spell does summon demons complete with clothes, so maybe it's the same logic.

"No, it's fine. I was just going in circles anyway. What were you doing?" the now blonde demon asks him curiously.

"Trying to write an essay and failing. I got it as a punishment for 'arguing' with my professor. All I did was answer his question, not my fault it was a stupid question." Zoro says bitterly.

"Oh? What was it on?" Sanji questions him and Zoro realises that it's probably not best to tell Sanji that his current essay is about how to kill incubi. He's not even sure that he's going to write it, or not how his professor had in mind anyway.

"He asked about exorcisms." he says instead. Sanji drops himself onto the sofa, sprawls out like he owns the place and smiles up at him. Sanji isn't as nervous as he had been in parts of their last date, but then this isn't a date. The knowledge that he is dating a demon rolls over him again. It still doesn't seem quite real.

"I've never had anyone try to do that to me." The demon says thoughtfully.

"I think people usually have other things on their mind when you're with them." Zoro points out and a devious expression slides over Sanji's face.

"Well I am very good." Sanji boasts and pouts at Zoro and bats his lashes up at him. Zoro isn't sure if Sanji is exaggerating and playing around or if people really do find that attractive. Asking would probably be a blow to Sanji's ego. He's gonna do it anyway.

"Do people actually fall for that look you just gave me?" He asks with a snort and Sanji no longer looks flirtatious and instead looks more than a little angry.

"I'll have you know that I can bring men to their knees begging for me with this face. I've seen so many people swoon for me that you wouldn't even believe the number." Sanji snaps.

"Hm. Speaking of seeing, do you need those glasses that I see you wearing sometimes?" he asks curiously.

Sanji's mouth opens and then shuts. A smile spreads across Sanji's face and it reaches his eyes in a way that shows that Sanji is actually really happy.

"What?" He asks curiously.

"It's just that it's really different talking to you than other humans." Sanji says.

"Usually," Sanji says, moving so that he's sat down on his knees instead of sprawled on his back on the sofa.

"Usually I'd do this."

Sanji's glamour intensifies a little, he can see it now that he's watching it. Sanji's lashes look longer and the flick of peacock coloured line along those lashes gets a little brighter, giving Zoro almost no choice but to look there. Sanji's glasses appear, sitting lower on his nose to that Sanji can look up at him past them. Sanji moves forwards, almost on his hands and knees on Zoro's sofa.

"Are you saying..." Sanji says in a breathy voice as he slides them off. The frames hang loose in Sanji's hand and Sanji brings them to his mouth so that he's almost biting the arm of one of them between his too white teeth.

"That you want me to wear them?" He asks, sliding the arm of the glasses out and Zoro watches as they run over Sanji's magazine perfect lips. How had no one ever kissed Sanji before?

"You think that they look good on me?" Sanji says in a voice that's almost a pleasured sigh. He doesn't quite flutter his lashes at Zoro but he blinks deliberately, the dark lashes fanned out against smooth skin, before looking up at Zoro. His eyes are all but an advert for mascara and the way that his lips are slick and slightly parted is probably enough to send most people's minds into the gutter.

"You want to know what I want?" Zoro responds and takes Sanji's glasses from him. He holds them up and looks through them at a distance. He sees the world warp a little through them, yeah, they're real glasses alright. Sanji isn't just wearing them for looks, he actually does need them.

"I want you to wear them if they actually help you." He tells Sanji and carefully slides them back onto Sanji's face. He's careful to slide them over Sanji's ears and not just poke him with them, as he does so however he can't help but see that Sanji's ears are a little more pointed. His hair is a little darker too. Sanji's glamour isn't so strong right now. Is it because he was using a lot of it earlier to be that actor or because he was just turning it up a lot then? Or maybe, and here's the thought that makes Zoro's heart flutter a little, maybe Sanji is relaxing around him some more and he doesn't feel the need to turn it up so high.

He pulls back and watches as Sanji sets his glasses a little straighter and tries to repress this small secret little smile. Sanji looks back up at Zoro who is half on and half off of the arm of the sofa above him.

"I don't have to think about everything that you want and making myself change to fit it. I can actually enjoy just... this." Sanji tells him quietly. Zoro's heart thuds a little harder in his chest. Sanji isn't being an incubus and pulling Zoro's sex drive to make him lose his soul, this isn't an engineered attempt to be Zoro's personal fantasy. No, this is far more deadly. Sanji is being himself and being honest and Zoro loves it.

Shit, he loves it? That's an awfully strong word isn't it? Okay, he doesn't love Sanji though, though his brain quietly adds 'not yet'. Fuck.

Oh well, self preservation has never been one of Zoro's strongest traits. He slides down off of the arm of the sofa and kisses Sanji. The blond sighs happily and Zoro can feel the way that Sanji's tail curls around Zoro's thigh. When the kiss finishes he still stays close to Sanji, only pulling back far enough so that he can look at Sanji's face properly.

"Did you... still want that date?" The blond asks him uncertainly.

"The one to another planet?" Zoro questions. Sanji nods enthusiastically, making his earrings chime has he does it. His make more noise than Zoro's do.

"I do. But... I think we're both supposed to be studying right now. I've got other schoolwork to do and you have to pretend to be that guy." Zoro tells him.

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you fucking peasant." Sanji growls, shoving Zoro in the shoulder.

"Yeah, him." Zoro agrees. Sanji makes a despairing kind of sound and gets up off of the sofa, grabbing his magazine up off of the floor.

"Go do your essay then." Sanji tells him. Zoro looks at Sanji for a second and remembers his teacher's demand to write about how to kill an incubus.

"Fuck that essay. I've got useful work that I could be doing." he says with a shake of his head.

"Oh?" Sanji asks curiously.

"Studying and preparing for my advanced wards class. We've got to try to interfere with another classmate with a ward. My friend is part selkie so I'm going to try to keep him out of his locker with a selkie ward. I feel bad for him though, he's got to get me back somehow and I'm full human so not much works on me." Zoro answers, already imagining the look on Usopp's face as he tries to get into his locker. It'll be both funny and get him credit in his class. Usopp's probably going to find another way to get him back though, but he'll still be helping his friend, he's just giving him... motivation.

"Plenty of things work on you humans, just not spells that demons are willing to share with you." Sanji purrs at him and Zoro is burning with curiosity about them but Sanji probably won't tell him. Still, they were supposed to be talking about arranging that date.

"How about Saturday? Unless that's a busy night for you. Do incubi have busy times compared to others? Some kind of demon rush hour?" He wonders aloud.

"Idiot. I choose when I work and what contracts I take. I can be free Saturday for you if that's when you want me to take you there." Sanji says as if Zoro is stupid for asking.

"So you're a freelance incubus? That's really interesting, do you-" He starts to ask. He's never really thought about the actual organization of demons beyond where they fall in hierarchies and what classifications they're in and so on. It never occurred to him to wonder how and when Sanji gets his contracts like the one he foolishly accepted for Zoro.

"Focus, idiot. What time on Saturday?" Sanji demands, smacking him on the head with his magazine.

"Uh... seven?" Zoro suggests.

"Good. You should eat before though, I can't exactly take my food with me, humans shouldn't eat our food." Sanji tells him.

"Yeah, I don't feel like ending up like Persephone. I'll eat early." Zoro snorts.

"Hey, Persephone is queen. But I don't think she'd like you trying to muscle in on that territory." Sanji tells him with a fanged grin. If even half of the things that Zoro has been taught about Persephone is true then he absolutely does not want to fuck with her or piss her off.

"So. Saturday at seven. I'll... see you then." Sanji says, suddenly looking a little awkward. Zoro is about to question it until Sanji leans in really quickly and kisses him. It's this tiny hesitant thing and Sanji jumps back afterwards, goes red and drops through the floor in a portal back to his own plane of reality.

Zoro runs his thumb over his lips and smiles. It takes a minute or two for him to notice that Sanji's mirror is still propped up against Zoro's wall. He walks over to it with a grin and recites Sanji's summoning spell. The blonde appears with a scowl wraps his hand around his mirror and vanishes with a muttered 'shut up, asshole'


	5. Chapter 5

Zoro's not usually one to worry about what to wear one a date. For a start he doesn't go on a lot of them as most people find the 'not gonna have sex with you' thing a deal breaker. Zoro's okay with that really because it saves him a lot of time when the assholes screen themselves out of his dating pool. Either way it's usually pretty easy, nice jeans, nice shirt, job done. But he's not really sure what the right clothes for a date to another planet are. He goes back and forth on it and figures that he'll dress as if he was going to go out doing fieldwork or collecting herbal supplies like his first year botany teacher always insisted on even though they could just buy what they needed at the supply store.

When he summons Sanji he's wearing a kind of nice shirt, though it's not the one he'd put on before as he'd managed to get ketchup on that one when he'd eaten his dinner. Unmarred by his dinner are his black trousers and thick boots. Sanji shows up looking flawless but in fairness his clothes are magical and he's an incubus, so it's not really fair to compare them.

"I think I've found the perfect planet. It's not even radioactive or anything!" Sanji says gleefully, his red spade-tipped tail lashing through the air happily.

"How thoughtful." Zoro says only half sarcastic.

"Do you want to go now or is there anything else you want to take?" Sanji asks him, shoving his hands in his pockets. Zoro's not entirely sure how Sanji is managing that because those black skinny jeans may as well be painted on, though Zoro supposes that if you can magically put clothes off and on then there's no need to worry about being able to get into or out of them.

"I've got everything." Zoro answers. He has. Out of habit he had picked up his house keys earlier but Sanji is hardly going to take him across space and then back again but then _not_ put him in his own home is he? He's got a bag with water in and a jacket in case it's raining and little food in case they're wandering for ages and get hungry, but he doesn't need anything else. In honesty he could probably go without that stuff too, but it's better to have things and not need them than need them and not have them. He is of course carrying his sword at his waist and if Sanji disapproves of the weapon then he doesn't say anything.

"Let's go then!" Sanji says brightly and his broad smile shows off his too sharp teeth. He's holding his hand out for Zoro to take and for a moment Zoro just looks at him. Sanji seems innocent enough, if unreasonably pretty. If it wasn't for the horns and tail Zoro could mistake Sanji for human. He's not human though, he's a demon, an incubus.

"Just to be clear," Zoro says slowly, reaching out but not taking Sanji's hand just yet.

"If I take your hand you're going to pull me into a hell dimension, then out again to an alien world that I have no means of getting back from on my own or even really surviving on alone. And I'm trusting you to not leave me in hell or stranded on another world and to instead take me back home safe and sound. Is that about right?" He asks, looking from Sanji's hand to him.

"Don't you trust me?" Sanji says, sounding slightly hurt and his hand lowers a little.

"Apparently I do trust you." Zoro answers with a shrug and takes Sanji's hand. Sanji's expression brightens considerably.

"And don't worry, we're only gonna be in the hell dimension for half a second, I just need to be there to pop out and back out onto this new planet." Sanji says dramatically.

His hand tightens on Zoro's and with a flash of fire Zoro feels himself fall through the floor in his home. Around him is a flash of bright red and then before he can see anything in it, it's gone. After that he's met with an entirely new landscape.

He's standing on a rock in the middle of what appears to be a field, not the agricultural kind but a natural one. The plants that make up the field are for the most part red, red like maple leaves in autumn. Here and there are small flowers of purple and yellow, they look unfamiliar to him but they could still reasonably belong on Earth. Convergent evolution is a wonderful thing. Beyond the field are trees that are tall and mighty, he has no idea how old they must be but without humans there to cut them down they are probably a lot older than most on Earth are. Their bark is black and the thick looking leaves are a deep red as well.

"What's that sound?" Zoro asks, his hand flying to his sword. There is a humming sound, something lower than a bee's buzz but far louder.

"Calm down, it's the sound of the most highly evolved creature on the planet. It's not going to hurt you, I did my research." Sanji says with a dramatic sigh.

The blond holds a hand up to silence Zoro and the sound grows closer and louder. The creatures are flying low, the sound comes from the beating of their wings as they lazily come out of the forest. They bumble over the red grass-like plants and pause here and there. Zoro crouches down to look at one up close as it flies over and settles on a plant near him. If he had to describe it he'd say that it's somewhere between a moth, a hummingbird and a lobster. It's articulated in the same way as a lobster but has relatively fast flapping wings like a hummingbird all down its sides. When they land to do whatever it is that they're doing on a plant he can see that the wings are thin and fluttering with dusty patterns on like a moth.

"There's a team of demon nerds that go from planet to planet noting things down about them, what the atmosphere is like if there is one, if there's any life and if so what it's like. There are a fair few planets with life on like this, but nothing like Earth." Sanji says softly, crouching down next to Zoro as they both look at the creature.

"Do you know how amazing this is?" Zoro asks in wonder as he looks at Sanji.

"Human scientists are still trying to find planets that have so much as single celled life on it, let alone something as incredible as _this_!" He says gesturing at the creature, the plants, and the trees as well as the rest of it.

"Well, how does it feel to be the first human to see an alien then?" Sanji asks him with a sparkle of amusement in his visible blue eye.

"Incredible." Zoro answers honestly and peers at the creature again. The little green flying lobster-hummingbird-moth thing flaps its tail lazily. It's not afraid of him at all, but then why would it be? No creature like him has ever harmed a single one of them. He intends to keep it that way. As he shifts his balance he feels his phone in his pocket and slowly takes it out. He opens the camera on it and pauses, looking across at Sanji.

"Hey, go ahead. Just be careful where you keep those I guess. I suppose you could say it was an illusion spell or something if someone asked you about it." Sanji says thoughtfully.

Zoro takes a picture of the creature and then the field surrounding it.

"Come on." Sanji says, jumping off of their rock and into the red grass, he holds out his hand for Zoro again and he hesitates once more. This land is completely unspoilt by humans but… well… he supposes that he did come here to explore and it's not like he's going to screw up the whole planet on his own is he?

He leaps off and follows Sanji through the field. He's careful not to touch anything with his bare hands if he can avoid it, even though he really wants to touch _everything_. Plenty of teachers from several disciplines, botany included, have drummed into him the rule of 'if you don't know what it is, don't grab it'. It's good advice here at least. Everything on this planet is literally alien to him and it's a good idea to start slowly when it comes to touching things to make sure that his body doesn't react badly, no matter how badly he wants to throw himself into the red grass and roll down a hill on it like a kid.

"How do you know about this place?" He asks, following after Sanji.

"I told you, we go looking for worlds that-" Sanji starts to say.

"No, no, I mean how do _you_ know about this place? You're an incubus and unless you're boning those things I can't see a reason for you to have known about this place." Zoro points out as they go into the forest and start walking.

"Oh. I got my hands on some star charts and information about the planets, atmosphere and stuff like that. Since you said that you wanted to go somewhere I've been trying to find a place. I've been checking them to make sure they're okay, there was this amazing one where all the trees glowed at night!" Sanji says wistfully.

"Why did you choose this one then?" Zoro asks curiously and touches the trunk of a tree before he remembers that he's not supposed to be doing that. It feels like regular tree bark to be honest, still he takes his hand back and wipes it quickly on his trousers and resolves to keep an eye on his skin just to be sure.

"Well, luckily for you I checked out that glowing planet and I don't know if it was because it was night but that planet was radioactive, even though the chart said it wasn't. You don't even want to know what I had to do to get my hands on a Geiger counter, though you're lucky I did." Sanji tells him.

Zoro narrows his eyes and tries to work out if he does want to know what it is that Sanji had to do.

"What… did you have to do?" He asks warily and Sanji pauses and looks around at him.

Zoro is worried that Sanji put himself through something awful and unpleasant but Sanji doesn't look traumatised, in fact Zoro's worried expression seems to amuse him as he gives him a sharp toothed smile.

"No, I mean that you don't want to know. I can shapeshift and I don't mean glamour I mean actual shapeshifting. I can't do anything _huge_ and I can't do it for long but uh… humans don't have enough limbs or bend in the right places to do that. So you don't want to know, it'd probably creep you out." Sanji says with a shake of his head.

The blond pauses to look at him though, tilting his head thoughtfully.

"Don't give me that look like your sizing up what parts of me you could remove or add to so that you could do whatever it was that you were doing. I was just concerned about you was all." Zoro grumbles and moves past the demon.

"You were worried about me?" Sanji asks in a small voice and when Zoro turns around Sanji is looking up at him in wonder.

"I was worried that you'd gone and put yourself through something you didn't want just to do something that'd make me happy. I don't want you to do that." Zoro tells him and Sanji's eyes go wide.

"I didn't, it was fine. I'm not used to humans being… I didn't expect that you'd be concerned." Sanji says quietly.

"I like you, you idiot. Why wouldn't I be concerned?" Zoro tells him. He's caught between feeling awkward and flattered that Sanji is so touched at him being concerned and on the other hand being really angry that this is apparently rare enough that Sanji didn't even consider that he might feel that for him.

He's standing on the hillside that they're climbing up, looking down at Sanji who is a few paces behind him. The demon seems to be trying to get his mouth around an answer, but it's taking a few moments.

"Can I kiss you?" Sanji asks in a quiet voice.

Zoro doesn't even tell him yes, he just comes closer and kisses him. The demon, the genuine incubus that has been seducing people out of their souls for a living clings close to him like a kiss is still something so unbelievably intimate. From the star struck look on Sanji's face afterwards it seems like that is exactly how it feels to him.

"Look," Zoro mutters as the kiss ends. "I don't usually say shit like this because I'm not good at sappy sentiments and I don't see the point when someone knows but… I guess I need to say it."

He looks slightly down at Sanji and sighs, this is going to feel embarrassing, it's like he can feel the heat of his embarrassment radiating backwards through time it's so bad.

"I like you and I care about you, I don't want you getting hurt just to do something for me. I know that this is pretty new and all but I still don't want you having to do things you really don't want to for my benefit. Or at all actually." Zoro says uncomfortably. This kind of thing really isn't his forte.

"Okay, I really need you to kiss me again after that." Sanji says firmly and leans up for it, essentially kissing Zoro before he gets the chance to do it first.

When Sanji pulls back Zoro can see that Sanji's hair is more unruly than it was before and not because Zoro has somehow messed it up. Sanji's hair is curling in different directions, not as wildly as he knows that his hair does naturally but it's a lot closer and it's darker too. Sanji is closer to how he really looks.

"Come on, let's get moving." Zoro tells him and pulls him onward.

The pair of them spend the next three hours wandering around the planet and heading up a very large rocky hillside that they had decided on. They talk about a whole bunch of things, films, music, famous people who have sold their souls, but Zoro avoids the topic of Sanji's day. Usually on a date you'd ask how the other person's day was but Zoro doesn't really want to hear if Sanji was doing his incubus thing and if so how many souls he took. Similarly when Sanji asks about his day Zoro sidesteps with vague answers about his classes, he skips entirely over his as yet unwritten and now late essay on how to kill an incubus. He's not going to write it at all, that's the decision that he's come to.

"Did you ever do that thing with the wards? On your friend I mean." Sanji asks just as Zoro had been moving the topic away from school.

"Oh, Usopp? Yeah, I managed to set up a ward that would put off selkies, only I set it a little too wide and it irritated my friend Robin, she's part siren. So… I passed but now Robin is pissed at me. I still don't know why it caught her, sirens aren't sea creatures even if lots of people make that mistake." Zoro answers and scrambles up the steep incline to the next larger chunk of rock sticking out of the slope.

"Maybe she has something else in her too." Sanji suggests and leaps upwards, catching the rock and then jumping again up to the top.

"Zoro get up here, the view is great and the sun is about to set!" Sanji says, his voice floating down to Zoro.

"Well the view sucks from down here." Zoro mutters irritably and claws his way up a little higher before grasping the flat rock surface at the top and hauling himself up with less grace that he would admit to.

From where he's stood right now he can see for miles and miles around and he can appreciate just how high they climbed. He settles down on the edge of their rocky outcrop and looks around at this alien place in the fading light of its sun.

He can see the tall trees with their thick and stiff red leaves, he's seen them up close and they're almost like the thick leaves of some cacti. There are other kinds of trees too with different shapes and foliage that he hadn't seen on the way up. In the distance he can see a winding river, it does appear to be water but he'd be very interested to test it and see just what it is. He wonders if that river leads to an ocean somewhere and what that ocean would be like and just what little creatures might live in it are. Sanji said that the lobster-hummingbird-moth things were the highest evolved kind of life here but he also said that they mislabelled a planet as not radioactive when it was so there's a possibility that there is something big and cool and _dangerous_ out there and if there is he so badly wants to find it. There are so many things that he could do here, places to explore, things to test and discover. He could spend a whole lifetime doing that here and barely scratch the surface.

"I wonder if humans will ever discover this planet." He says aloud as the thought occurs to him.

"They might see it but they'll never come here, not unless humans start being able to travel like we do. Even if a rocket left Earth right now to get here it wouldn't get here before that sun ate this planet and then died as well." Sanji tells him and sits down beside him.

"No other human is ever going to come here. This planet is yours as far as I'm concerned." Sanji says and pulls one knee up to his chest and rests his arms on it as he too looks out at the landscape.

Zoro stares at him. He is… the only human who'll ever come here. Sanji is probably the only demon that will as well, if demons are mapping out the universe bit by bit then they're likely not coming back. The universe is huge and if they plan on doing it then they're not going to come back just for fun are they? So this whole world…

"You're giving me a planet?" He asks in wonder.

"Well, you can't take it home with you or anything, but yeah. I'll take you here whenever you like." The demon answers casually, as if it's no big deal and as if Zoro had just asked him to drive him just around the corner.

Holy shit.

He shoves Sanji back from the edge of the rocky ledge and climbs into his lap and kisses Sanji hard and fiercely. Sanji makes a surprised noise and his hands catch hold of Zoro's hips out of reflex.

"For the record, giving a guy a planet definitely beats flowers or chocolate or… I don't know, a fucking watch or something. That is an impossibly big thing to give someone." He says and kisses Sanji again. Sanji looks pleased if a little confused. He looks like Zoro thinks that he would if Sanji reacted with overwhelming glee at being given an umbrella or something equally trivial.

"I'm glad you like it." Sanji says happily and Zoro climbs off of his lap and sprawls on the rock, leaning up on his elbows to look at Sanji.

"I love it." Zoro answers honestly. He's not usually one for effusive praise but then he's not usually gifted with entire planets!

"Hey, the sun's setting." Sanji notes and Zoro looks over and sees the moment when the sun dips below the horizon.

"What's the name of this planet?" Zoro asks, blinking away the after images of the sun from his eyes.

"Oh… it doesn't have one really. It's got a number but that's just so they know where it is, it's more of an address than it is a name. You should name it!" Sanji tells him cheerfully.

Zoro thinks for a little bit. Planets are usually named after gods but naming something after a god is both something that's boring for having been done before but also a bad idea. Naming something is important and sticking the name of a god on something can be a big magnet for attention. So he either comes up with some nonsense name or names it after something that he doesn't mind being aware of this place.

"I'm going to call it Planet Sanji. Because it's weird and I like it, just like the person who gave it to me." Zoro says brightly and Sanji squints at him. Zoro can see him weighing up whether he's more annoyed or flattered. He figures that he breaks even because Sanji doesn't melt into flutters but nor does he try and kick him.

The two of them sit in a comfortable kind of silence as the night sky darkens slowly. He sees the spade tip of Sanji's tail twitch now and then on the flat rock near Zoro. On impulse he reaches out and touches it carefully. It doesn't move or jerk away and Sanji doesn't say anything so he supposes that at the very least it doesn't hurt. The skin on it feels kind of textured like a fingerprint and the thin tail that it's attached to feels smoother, more like the inside of Zoro's palm. He looks up and sees Sanji watching him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to- I shouldn't have-" Zoro apologises hastily but Sanji just shrugs.

"I don't mind. You're not trying to pull on it so it's fine." Sanji tells him easily.

"People try to pull your tail? But surely it's connected to your spine, that'd hurt!" He exclaims, sitting up.

"They do, it is and it does." Sanji mutters unhappily.

"That's really shit." Zoro offers his condolences. That would feel like someone trying to pull your head off of your neck. He guesses that people Sanji has sex with assume that because it's there then they can just get their hands all over it and do whatever they like to it. He hopes that Sanji's never been injured that way.

"I guess it's not a mistake people make twice, huh?" He says slowly, a grin creeping onto his face. He should probably really disapprove of Sanji stealing souls but he's not really stealing them. He's taking them. Incubi can't do anything to anyone if they haven't consented first. Obviously they don't really play fair about it but still, they agreed. Besides, people who hurt Sanji and sold their souls to him don't really make Zoro feel sympathetic towards them.

"Definitely not a mistake they make twice." Sanji agrees with a sinister smile. Sanji's tail wraps around Zoro's wrist and he keeps his hand still and just appreciates the touch.

Zoro looks up at the sky, now that the sun has fully set and without any light from it or light pollution from people he can see what feels like all of space. He can see the distant hues of what must be the galaxy that Planet Sanji is in. He can see hundreds of thousands of pinpricks of light from far away stars and he thinks that he can see another planet out there, it looks a little bigger and brighter than the other stars in the sky, so it might be one.

His eyes wander over every inch of the sky, there's so much to take in up there and he can't stop his mind from reeling with the beauty of it. Even if these stars can be seen from Earth, and from what Sanji said it's possible that they might not be, no one else will ever see these constellations from this angle. It's just him and Sanji.

He feels the prickle of awareness at being watched and when he looks over at Sanji in the faint starlight he sees Sanji abruptly jerk his head away and look upwards as if he had been watching the stars all along. Planetary gift or not Sanji isn't quite as smooth as he thinks he is. Zoro decides to be nice and not say that.

"I wonder which way Earth is." He says quietly, as if somehow speaking loudly might disturb the beauty of the sky above them.

"You're the one with the magic finding spell on your hand." Sanji points out and Zoro slowly raises his arm. The hand in question is attached to the wrist with Sanji's tail wrapped around it. The demon's tail uncoils and slides over Zoro's skin in a way that reminds him of a small and delicate snake. He turns his hand so it runs over his fingers and Zoro tries to imagine what that feels like for Sanji.

He holds his palm up flat before him and thinks of home, he thinks of wanting to go there. A green arrow appears above his palm, floating in the air. It tilts and points upward but slightly off to the right. He holds his hand up to his face and tries to get right behind the arrow so he's looking right at where Earth is.

"Right there." He says.

"Do you want to go back?" Sanji asks him.

"I think I want to stay here a little longer with you, unless you need to go?" He says, a bit concerned that Sanji might be wanting to leave.

"I think I can stand to stay with you a while longer." Sanji answers airily. Zoro laughs and falls backwards so that he can stare up at the starry sky a little more comfortably.

"You're pretty good at this romance stuff for someone who's never done it before." He tells the demon with an amused laugh.

"Really?" Sanji asks and Zoro can hear the hope in the blonde's voice. Zoro laughs, making his body move slightly against the flat rocks of _his_ planet and yet Sanji asks if he's really any good at this.

"Yeah, really, you curly browed idiot demon. Now come stare at the stars already or do you need your glasses?" Zoro sighs and tugs Sanji backwards by his fancy looking shirt.

"I can see distance just fine, moss-faced idiot." Sanji tells him primly and settles down gracefully at Zoro's side.

Yeah, Sanji is definitely good at this dating thing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sanji peers at himself in the mirror and changes his clothes again. He's got another date with Zoro tonight so he wants to look good. He sizes himself up, black sweater and blue jeans. Zoro tells him that he doesn't have to dress fancy or look different for their dates so it's key that he looks like he's not trying, as is the key to all fashion. He glares at the mirror and turns around and grabs one of his magazines. He paces back and forth as he flicks through it, trying to find something, anything that's better than what he's wearing but still appropriate.

"Needs to be perfect." He mutters as he stares at the pages. At least they're clear to him now, one thing he's eternally grateful for is that Zoro seems to like his glasses so at least he doesn't have to go around with the world slightly fuzzy.

He pauses, a band t-shirt and ripped black jeans? Super casual and kind of punk? Ugh, no, no, no.

"Think, think, think!" He snarls at himself, smacking his face with the magazine.

This needs to be just right because this is _Zoro_ that he's talking about here. Zoro is funny and sweet and… also kind of annoying, but in a good way. He's amazing and a large part of Sanji is grateful that Zoro isn't looking for sex from him, both because he doesn't want to accidentally rip Zoro's soul out and kill him but also because it means that they get to have this. He gets to hear Zoro's laugh and his stupid comebacks and see the way that Zoro trusts him even though by all rights he shouldn't. He's amazing.

He looks at himself in the mirror and still isn't satisfied.

"Why is he with someone like you?" Sanji demands bitterly of his reflection.

He's just an incubus and sure he's good at his job but the only use that he has Zoro doesn't need him for. Zoro isn't perfect but he's got loads of good qualities, what can he possibly offer Zoro? He stares at the mirror and throws on as much glamour as he can reasonably hold. His eyes are sparkling blue, his hair is like spun gold, his body is perfect and his teeth (even with the unchangeably long canines) are movie-star white. He looks great from the outside, even if it's all just pretty wrapping with nothing worth having inside.

Fire bursts around him and he drops his magazine before it ends up taken to Zoro's place with him. The fire dissipates and Zoro's home appears around him. Zoro is looking at him with a smile but it falters and turns to surprise.

"Whoa, you look like you did when we first met. Except for that moment when you were a woman." Zoro says, stepping closer to him and looking at him. Sanji keeps an iron grip on his glamour and smiles at Zoro.

"Hi." He says, not really acknowledging Zoro's statement.

"I didn't pull you from work did I?" Zoro asks, looking worried.

"What? No. No, I knew you'd be calling me so I wasn't working." Sanji answers and wonders if he screwed up by glamouring himself too hard. Great.

"Okay." Zoro says with a shrug and then turns away. Maybe he could top this situation off by punching himself in the face and throwing himself out of the window, that'd be as smooth as this.

"So you said before that you hadn't watched load of human movies and I've got a few so you can pick if you want, or there's Netflix. Do you have Netflix in hell?" Zoro asks curiously as he crouches down in front of a rack of cases.

"I don't know what Netflix is." Sanji answers and Zoro gets this sad look on his face. Sanji only realises that it's faked when Zoro's mouth twitches at the corner briefly and it's Zoro unable to keep the amusement off of his face.

"And that's why it's hell." Zoro says and sniggers to himself. Sanji has a brief moment of wondering why he's trying so hard to impress this moron but it fades, he does actually like Zoro after all.

"Okay, so I can get most films or tv shows on this or there's my stuff here. Have a look or tell me if there's something you want me to see if I can get." Zoro says waving his arm at his collection.

Sanji crouches down and looks, there's some films that he's seen, some that he's just heard of and one or two that he's never even heard the name of. The one on the top for example is one he's not heard of.

"Lord of the Rings?" He asks curiously and it feels weird when he touches it to pick it up.

"Oh shit, be _really_ careful with that. If that's damaged at all Nami will ritually sacrifice me and then set me on fire." Zoro says with a worried look on his face, eyeing the case of it.

"Why? What's so precious about it?" He questions, holding onto the case carefully.

"She's got this black market trading thing going on with a few versions of herself from other realities and this is from a world with no magic and only humans in it. It's all fantasy to them. Though I guess maybe there was something once because some things are supposed to be accurate but the most part it's absurdly offensive. She said it's great." Zoro tells him, crouching down and taking the case off of him to turn it around.

"Is that… is that a human dressed up as an elf?!" he gasps, looking at the blond man on the cover with the slightly pointed ears.

"Yes, it's _awful_. And apparently all of the special effects on this are done on computers somehow, it's not magic and camera tricks." Zoro exclaims, gleeful as the terrible weirdness.

"Weird. This sounds like the worst thing ever, we have to watch it." Sanji grins widely and Zoro quietly goes 'yes!' and starts getting it set up on his machine.

Sanji sits down on the sofa and pulls his feet up on it, curling his tail around himself. He watches Zoro and the way he looks focused as he flicks through menus on the screen. He looks at the way that Zoro has his tongue poking out ever so slightly in concentration as he fights with the apparently poorly designed interface and realises that he went from feeling terrible about himself to not even thinking about it. If he didn't know better he'd say that Zoro was using some kind of magic on him.

Sanji leans forward a little and looks at himself in the slight reflection on the window with the dark night sky outside. He can see how heavily glamoured he is and knows how little he looks like how he really is. He can feel the tense grip that he has on his glamour inside him and carefully lets a bit of it go. His skin becomes less perfectly bronze and his hair darkens a little and stops being so neat. He's not the pale, messy haired disaster zone that he is underneath but it's a step back from his more designed self. It feels easier being like this, not effortless but easier.

When Zoro turns around he clearly notices but he doesn't say anything and his face doesn't reveal anything other than passing surprise, but he supposes that Zoro might give him the same look if he'd suddenly changed his shirt when Zoro wasn't looking.

"You want something to drink before I turn this on?" Zoro asks, walking towards his kitchen.

"Yeah, whatever you have." Sanji answers and twists to look at Zoro peering in the fridge.

"Ice tea?" Zoro questions.

"I said yes, didn't I?" Sanji snarks and Zoro responds by throwing the drink at him.

Sanji catches it mid-air with magic before moving it closer and catching it with his hands.

"I've never cracked that. I can catch something with magic but then it stays still and the Earth keeps moving so really it just flies off into the distance at a thousand miles an hour and I am now banned from trying it. I was trying to catch a pen and it broke the sound barrier, everyone in the room went deaf for about half a minute and it blew a hole in the wall and was only stopped by a long term defence spell on the school's wall." Zoro says unhappily.

"You're an idiot." Sanji groans. How could someone fuck up that badly?

"You're supposed to hold it still in relation to yourself not- you're hopeless. Next time we're on your planet and away from anything breakable I'll show you how." Sanji sighs and opens his drink.

"I'd like that." Zoro says and drops onto the seat next to him and starts up the film.

The film turns out to be both brilliant and awful. From a technical point of view it's interesting to wonder how the people who made it did so without magic but it's puzzling why people in a universe without magic would make up fake legends about magical people that don't exist.

"You know what makes this film better?" Zoro says partway through it.

"What?" Sanji questions, looking at Zoro who is still looking at the screen.

"My teacher, the demonology one that hates me, he's an elf. I've got a few demonology professors but that one hates me and… wow… if he knew I was watching _that-_ " Zoro says and points to the Legolas character on the screen.

"He would lose his mind. I'm half tempted to play it to him just to see his face." Zoro grins, wide and wicked. Sanji's heart melts a little just for seeing it.

"I'm pretty sure that your friend would be angry at you losing it though. And probably being expelled and possibly arrested." Sanji adds.

"You don't seem so concerned though." Zoro says and Sanji smirks.

"That's 'cause you can still summon me in jail. It'd make dates boring but if I knew when you were going to summon me I could bring things with me. Or I could break you out and take you to your planet." Sanji purrs and Zoro laughs brightly.

"I think I'll just give the DVD back to Nami." He chuckles and Sanji smiles and shrugs as if he's still open to the idea. Truthfully he really doesn't want Zoro to go to prison, but it's a slightly amusing idea in theory.

They fall back into more or less complete silence, broken only by the occasional short bout of mocking. As the film carries on though, and boy is it a long one, he finds himself sliding down the sofa and resting against Zoro, shoulder to shoulder.

His tail flicks of its own accord and skims up Zoro's forearm and then down again, he only really notices when Zoro reacts by turning his hand the other way up so the tip of his tail runs over Zoro's palm. He freezes, the tip of his tail suspended over Zoro's hand. What should he do, just move it away and pretend like he hasn't noticed? Do it again to give the impression that it was deliberate or… shit, no, he's been waiting too long he can't pull off accidental or deliberate now. Now this is just weird, he's-

The pads of Zoro's fingertips run over the pointed tip of Sanji's tail and along the underside of it. He can feel Zoro's fingerprints and the way his blood pumps just under his skin in lazy comfortable beats.

"Sorry, is this okay?" Zoro asks quietly, looking at Sanji through the corner of his eye. Sanji swallows, though his throat still feels choked up. Zoro is just so damn gentle with him. He has no reason to be, Sanji knows for sure that he can take far rougher and goodness knows that he has before. Not Zoro though. Zoro is a squishy human, hell if it wasn't for the fact that Zoro is full human and hasn't agreed to anything Sanji could rip his soul out and burn his body down to its base elements. Zeff could wither Zoro away from the inside out in an agonising death with a mere look. Despite all of that though Zoro is being gentle with him and it's just because he cares and Sanji just doesn't know what to do with the hot feeling that gives him in his chest.

"How much control do you have with this?" Zoro asks him and Sanji swallows back the answer of 'not enough with you around' and works out what Zoro is actually referring to.

"Because you don't seem to think too much about where it's moving." Zoro adds and runs his finger along the edge of the spade tip of Sanji's tail.

"I… I can control it." Sanji answers unsteadily and to demonstrate he loops his tail into a loose open knot and then out again.

"But if I'm not thinking about it then it just kind of… does whatever." He adds and looks at Zoro warily. The human isn't looking at him though, or not making eye contact at least, instead he's trying to follow the path that Sanji's tail is cutting through the air with his fingers but without touching him. Zoro's expression is undisguised interest, so much so that he's not even paying attention to the film any more.

"Am I so fascinating?" He challenges Zoro and slaps his hand with the flat of his tail.

"Yeah." Zoro answers easily, as if that wasn't a huge thing to admit. Sanji focuses obscenely hard on his glamour to make sure that the redness he can feel burning on his cheeks doesn't show.

"I'm not exactly interesting." Sanji says honestly but also a selfish part of him really wants Zoro to tell him that he is, to say that Zoro thinks of him when he's not there.

"You are to me. You're the first demon I've ever met and I'm pretty sure that even if you weren't the first I'd still think you were interesting. I'd ask you questions all of the time if I didn't think it'd be really rude." Zoro says with a snort of laughter at the end.

"Like the tail thing?" Sanji asks.

"And everything else. But this isn't class and you're my boyfriend, not an exhibit. Besides, you probably know more about humans than I do, so it'd not like I can even trade information with you." Zoro responds and Sanji's heartrate triples at Zoro actually referring to him as his boyfriend. He knows they're dating and he thinks of Zoro as his boyfriend, but to hear it said back is… oh… it's perfect. But this… this could be an opportunity!

"I don't know everything about you though. Maybe we could trade that way." He blurts out, hoping that his plan isn't too obvious.

"That seems reasonable." Zoro replies but from the sly look in his eyes Sanji isn't so sure that he's escaped undetected in his stealth questioning. He realises when Zoro raises an eyebrow at him that it's supposed to be him asking the question. He panics and looks around for a moment before coming to a question.

"How… how come you live alone?" He asks and Zoro turns side on to look at him, folding one leg under the other on the sofa cushions.

"I used to live with my sister, but I couldn't get any work done there. Neither of us wanted that so I went and roomed at a friend's house, almost all of us lived with her then. She's loaded and has this giant house, but eventually spending all of my time with all of them trying to do their own homework and distract each other drove me nuts. So it was move out or commit murder, so I got this place." Zoro answers with a shrug.

Sanji bites his tongue. He wants to say that he hopes that he could meet Zoro's friends. That's an important dating thing isn't it? Meeting the loved ones of your partner. But Zoro would probably have to work them up to it if they're witches like he is. Maybe someday though!

"What do your horns feel like to you?" Zoro asks, his eyes focused on them.

"The same as they would to you. You can touch them if you want to." Sanji answers with a confused frown.

"Really? Okay." Zoro says and leans over. He feels the gentle pressure of Zoro's fingertips against them and looks at the curious expression on Zoro's face.

"It feels smooth, like a warm glass." Zoro says to himself.

"But what I actually meant was what this feels like for you. Is it kind of numb, like someone touching your fingernails instead of your skin? Or don't you feel anything?" Zoro says, his voice soft and low.

"More like teeth. I feel it at the base I guess. They're not exactly fragile, we did originally evolve them for self defence." He tells Zoro and jabs at him with one of his horns, not hard enough to hurt him, just enough to prove his point. Either way unless Sanji got unlucky and got Zoro somewhere delicate he's not likely to injure him with his horns as they're pretty small and redundant on all incubi. He'd deny it to anyone who asked but one time Sanji split a mark's lip open with one by mistake because he jerked his head back close to the guy's face.

Zoro's expression is watchful and careful as his fingers casually meander down his left horn and settle close to the base, feeling around where skin meets horn. Zoro's trying to work out how he's put together but all Sanji can feel is something that's a delicious mix between Zoro stroking through his hair and getting a scalp rub. It's similar to the kind he has to give himself when he gets migraines that totally aren't to do with him not wearing his glasses when he should and it feels far nicer when it's not to remove pain.

"I'm guessing that feels nice, or is the happy dog act deliberate?" Zoro says and Sanji opens his eyes (wait, when did he shut them?) and looks at the self-satisfied little smile on Zoro's face. Zoro's fingertips knead into the skin more and Sanji tries to think. Happy dog act? He hears a thwap-thwap-thwap sound and realises that it's him. His tail is waving around and hitting the back of the sofa like a… happy dog. He forces it to stay still and grits his teeth. Zoro pulls his hand back and Sanji half wants to just shove his head back against Zoro and make him keep going.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make that weird. It's just people don't usually try and find things that make me feel nice." Sanji mutters, glaring down at the sofa cushions. He probably made Zoro really uncomfortable there and the other man is just trying to be light hearted about it. It's just… Zoro was making him feel good without any expectation of Sanji getting him off, it was about him instead of someone else for a change.

"It's not weird, it's interesting. I don't mind." Zoro says lightly.

Sanji experiences that same pair of emotions that he keeps getting around Zoro. The dread that he's fucked something up by saying or doing the wrong thing and then the slightly suspicious calm when Zoro either tells him he hasn't or simply doesn't notice how Sanji has screwed up. Right now Zoro is just watching him patiently until Sanji's brain reminds him that it's his turn for a question. Crap, what's he supposed to ask? Well, he could follow up his last question.

"Uh, how do you afford this place then? Do you have a job?" Sanji asks him quickly and feels relatively proud that he stumbled on a reasonably smart topic.

"Not as such. My sister helps me out with money sometimes, but usually she doesn't have to. I sell my blood for money." Zoro answers and Sanji feels his eyes bug out.

"You what?!" He balks and Zoro laughs loudly.

"Okay, listen, here's how it works. For most spells that just require blood or need blood to make a circle, any kind will do and our school supply store even sells animal blood just for that. But when you need a specific kind of blood the students usually sell or trade it." Zoro starts to explain. Sanji frowns, that sounds a little dangerous and inviting infections if a bunch of untrained students are doing it but he has to admit that it makes sense if done right.

"Okay, now I'm pure human, or at least enough that it doesn't count. Which is… pretty dull really. I mean baseline human blood like mine is used because it's not interesting. Every other damn species has some kind of magic that they can do from birth but we have to be taught it and even then not everyone can. Our blood doesn't react with anything unexpectedly." He continues.

"Which would be useful if you're trying to work on something new and you don't know for sure that it'll work. Like if you're learning." Sanji finishes for him and Zoro smiles and nods.

"Only, I've got one better. Non-reactive human blood, but virgin blood too. That's a lot harder to come by. It's enough that a pint can more or less pay my rent for a month and a half." Zoro says with a grin.

Sanji grits his teeth and bites back what he wants to say because this is a date damnit, it's supposed to be nice, he's not meant to run his mouth about things like this. Zoro tugs at the end of Sanji's fringe lightly and Sanji looks at him again.

"What's up?" Zoro asks him, a slight frown pinching at his face. Or rather, more frown than the man's usual stern brow shape gives him.

"I shouldn't start talking about that stupid fucking idea." He mutters and sees Zoro's eyes flick to his tail which he knows must be lashing around angrily.

"If you don't want to talk about… whatever then that's fine. Don't feel like you have to hold back for me though." Zoro says and Sanji squints at him. Zoro seems to mean it and his face shows calm curiosity.

"It's just a stupid made up concept and it makes me angry." Sanji mutters, resting his cheek in his hand.

"What is?" Zoro asks obligingly.

"Virginity. I mean, no one can even fucking agree on exactly what is and isn't sex. What's the most sexual you can be with a person before they're not a virgin anymore, huh? If it involves dicks like lots of people think then fuck, I work with a fair few succubi who'll be really surprised to hear that they're virgins. It's stupid. Nothing happens to someone just because they have sex, it doesn't tarnish a soul and not having it doesn't make you pure. It's fucking stupid." He snarls and tries to relax his hands so they're not clenched into fists any more.

"Well, it works. But I figure that's just because people think that it does, magic is weird like that. If enough people think something is real then it is kind of real. Real enough for it to work differently in spells and real enough that I can sell my blood for some made up property that it has." Zoro says slightly and swirls his fingers idly in the air, sketching a small circle and the quick rune for light. A small mote of light bursts in the air and hangs for a moment before Zoro lets it go.

"But I'd still kick the ass of anyone who acted like I was somehow better than you just 'cause I've never had sex with someone." Zoro adds and Sanji's heart flutters a little despite himself.

"It'd probably be a bad idea for you to start fighting demons." Sanji says with a smile, though the idea is touching. Even though Zoro would get killed easily and Sanji hardly needs anyone to stand up for him, it's just kinda sweet to think that Zoro might.

"Wait, demons treat you like shit for… doing what you're supposed to do as an incubus? That doesn't make any sense." Zoro frowns and leans back a little against the arm of the sofa.

"Well they do. They insult us and shun us. I like to think it's because they're scared of us though." He says with a sharp grin and watches Zoro's expression brighten with interest.

"Oh?" Zoro asks and sits up straight again.

The two of them are sat facing each other on the sofa now, the film entirely ignored on the TV. He would turn it off with magic but he's worried about breaking it or damaging the film from the non-magical universe, so he leaves it on.

"Okay, think of it like this." He says, deciding to explain.

He mentally settles on what he wants and then calls for it, he doesn't need the real thing so an illusion spell will do. He holds his hands out and a glass bottle of coke floats in the air.

"Imagine this is a person. The bottle is their body, the cap is their soul and the drink is their life energy. When there's no more life energy in it there's no point in a cap anymore and so it goes away. Make sense?" He explains.

"I guess." Zoro nods. That's not very encouraging but Sanji perseveres on anyway.

"What I do is a job. I have a contract and so some of my powers are boosted and some are restricted. If I take a contract on a human I agree that I'll take their soul from them and pass it on, I don't get to keep it. I just show up, get the human to agree and…" Sanji vigorously shakes the bottle of coke in his hand and then pops the cap off of it, making the coke foam burst out and down his arm.

"Thanks for the visual." Zoro says flatly and Sanji snickers in amusement.

"This part, their soul, that isn't mine. All of their life energy though is, that's my payment and I need that to live." Sanji explains and drinks from the bottle before sending it away, along with the cola stickiness on his arm.

"So why would demons be afraid of you then?" Zoro questions and Sanji beams, he is a good student isn't he?

"Well, I literally cannot do anything to you that you don't want to me do. I have a little leeway but if you forbid me from something then I can't do it, you could ban me from touching you at all and I couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. The only exception to that is if you agree to a deal with me, you negotiate away your right to refuse. The less human someone is the more leeway I can get. I can attack and kill people if they're far enough from human." Sanji explains and though Zoro is nodding along it's clear that it's because he understands rather than he agrees.

"With a demon I have no restrictions of ANY kind and if there's no contract I get to keep their soul too. Nothing makes you more powerful than eating another person's soul, especially a high powered demon. So yeah, they hate us but I think they're scared of us too." Sanji answers and Zoro looks thoughtful if a little concerned.

Sanji hesitates, he wants to ask Zoro if what he does bothers him. He's not sure he wants to know the answer though, not sure that he can handle it.

"Have you ever eaten anyone else's soul?" Zoro questions him after a moment.

"What? No. I don't like the idea of eating a person like that, it's one thing to take their life force when they're not using it anymore but a soul is another thing entirely. I mean maybe I would but the circumstances would have to be pretty extreme like… fighting for my life or something." He answers with a shake of his head.

Zoro looks troubled and his gaze isn't directed at Sanji but at the table across the room that has his books and papers from school on it. Awkwardness rises in Sanji's chest and bubbles unpleasantly. This was supposed to be pleasant, a nice movie date and he's just freaked Zoro out.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" He starts to apologise but Zoro shakes his head instead.

"I need to tell you something." Zoro says, speaking over him. He looks really troubled.

"O-okay?" Sanji says worriedly. Is Zoro breaking up with him? He wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Remember I was talking about that demonology teacher who hates me? Well he's the one that assigned me that essay I mentioned before." Zoro says and Sanji is completely puzzled.

"Uh… yeah? Didn't you say that you weren't going to do it?" Sanji asks, feeling more than a little lost.

"Yeah, I'm not doing it." The other man says firmly and then hesitates, seemingly unsure about what to say.

"I've always been pretty good at demonology but after I met you I read up on incubi a little more. I got called on in class and embarrassed the teacher because he couldn't catch me out, you'd think that would be a good thing that I know my stuff but apparently not." Zoro says bitterly and Sanji's face is rapidly covered with a grin.

"Oh yeah, I can imagine that you were _real_ modest about it. Not smug at all." Sanji chuckles and Zoro actually goes a little red on the tips of his ears. Bingo.

"Shut up. The point is he assigned me the essay as punishment." Zoro says.

"And you don't think it might be wise just to do it? If you're good at the subject it won't be that hard, right?" Sanji reasons.

Zoro looks incredibly uneasy and worryingly he's not meeting Sanji's eyes at all. What's going on?

"Zoro?" Sanji asks warily.

"He asked for an essay on how to kill incubi." Zoro says and Sanji's heart stops. He feels his whole body freeze and no matter how much he likes Zoro he knows full well that he can't do jack shit to harm Zoro, no matter what. Sanji's own family died from the rules that keep Zoro safe. What is Zoro trying to say here?

"Like I said, I'm not doing it." Zoro reiterates and Sanji relaxes a little bit but not much.

"I don't know if that's the smart thing to do though. I like you, I really do. But… I know that you kill people and take their souls and I don't know how many people you've done that to. Maybe I'm failing by not trying to stop you but when I look at you I don't see a monster who needs to be trapped and destroyed." Zoro tells him and Sanji can see that Zoro is concerned that he's ruined everything.

Sanji wants to tell him that it's okay, he wants to move their date back to nice safe territories like popcorn and completely awful depictions of elves and magic in another world but his mouth isn't as smart as the rest of him right now.

"What do you see then?" Sanji asks, his voice soft and wary. Zoro's face instantly turns gentle and his smile is warm.

"I see my dumbass demon boyfriend who keeps tripping over himself with nerves, who kept acting like he didn't need glasses because he worried about how he looked, I see the smartass that keeps arguing with me. I'm not going to say that I like you despite you being a demon because it's not a flaw and I don't have some thing for demons either. I just… like you and you're a demon. That's all." Zoro tells him and warily reaches out to touch one of Sanji's horns again. Sanji leans into the touch and looks at Zoro and tries to decide just how he feels about all of this.

"This is probably going to get you in trouble." Sanji says quietly and Zoro halfway shrugs.

"Well, maybe I need to rethink about what I'm studying for." He answers easily.

Sanji knows where he can lead this conversation. It's the obvious avenue about whether there's any way in hell that someone like Zoro can date a demon like him and have things work out well. The clear answer is no, it almost certainly won't end well. If nothing else Zoro is still mortal and he'll die long before Sanji will.

He doesn't want to have that conversation though goddamnit, he's actually happy when he's with Zoro and he doesn't get that enough.

"Weren't we supposed to be seeing if that other universe's Sean Bean dies in all of his films too?" Sanji asks a little weakly and Zoro laughs in surprise.

"I'm pretty sure that man's acting career can't be some constant across the multiverse." Zoro chuckles.

"Five bucks says he bites it heroically." Sanji says and curls up against Zoro's side.

"You're on." Zoro snorts and wraps his arm around Sanji.

"Thanks for telling me all that." Sanji says after a few moments of watching the movie again.

"Thanks for not just leaving I guess." Zoro mumbles into his shirt and Sanji grins, it looks like Zoro overloaded himself on emotional honesty tonight.

"I didn't say stop petting my horns, that was nice." Sanji prompts him and Zoro laughs but does in fact start up with the petting again. Sanji tries to keep his tail under control so he doesn't look like a pleased puppy but it's hard.

"No way Sean Bean is gonna die. I've got a good feeling." Zoro asserts and Sanji laughs, he's pretty sure that Zoro is going to be wrong, but they'll just have to see.


	7. Chapter 7

Zoro doesn't see his sister as often as he probably should. He sees her every week or every week and a half but she only lives five minutes from the apartment he rents from Nami and he could realistically just live at her place in his old room. You know, if he wanted to be bruised all of the time and also to fail his classes. It's not that he has poor impulse control, it's just that he can't resist trying to beat Kuina at anything and everything.

Maybe that is poor impulse control.

Either way, he can't live with her any more but he still does visit. He knocks on the door and waits for Kuina to open it. He has keys but there was one time he walked in and his sister had a "guest" over and he is never ever EVER repeating that experience again. Thankfully his sister isn't otherwise occupied and answers the door, she pulls it open and lets him in.

"What's in the bag?" She asks him, nodding to the canvas bag and the plastic bag inside it and the one inside that. He needed a decent amount of reinforcement to his bag.

"Chocolate. I figured you might want some of it, or all of it. Please say all of it, you know I don't really like sweet things." He says slightly pleadingly as he finishes taking his shoes off and hands the bag to Kuina.

"Why do you have a bag full of fist sized rocks of chocolate? Oh, there's smaller bits too." Kuina notes, pulling a smaller one out and putting it into her mouth with a pleased hum.

"We had to break it up with hammers, so it's uneven." He answers as they walk into the kitchen and she sets the heavy bag down on the counter.

"Why were you breaking it with hammers?" She asks and puts another part in her mouth.

"Well we were in our transmogrification class and we had to turn tables into trees however we wanted to, I wound mine back into the tree it used to be but Bonney messed up her spell and instead of turning hers into a cacao tree she screwed up and just turned it into a giant solid chocolate table. Knowing Bonney though… I'm not sure it was an accident." Zoro muses, pulling two cups out of the cupboard for them.

He's distracted from that when he hears the sound of something being spat into the sink and when he looks at Kuina she's wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You didn't tell me it was magic chocolate." She says disdainfully with stress on the word magic.

"It's not magic chocolate. The teacher checked it before anyone was allowed to eat it, it's perfectly safe." He sighs and sets the cups down.

"I don't want magically made chocolate, it's not natural." Kuina says and opens the fridge, looking for the bottle of sake that's always in there for whenever they meet up together at home.

"You know that chocolate bars don't just grow whole on trees, right?" He snorts and Kuina kicks him in the leg.

"If my tongue turns into a frog or something I'm blaming you." She says firmly and pours their drinks out.

She waits until they're halfway through their first sip before swallowing quickly and asking him the question.

"So how's school?" She asks and Zoro tries hard not to choke.

"It's fine." He answers coolly.

"Only fine?" Kuina asks with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm doing great in all of my classes and I'm in the advanced combat classes and advanced demonology too. Assuming that I don't screw up the practical test next month I'm going to get an A in that. Do you want my whole report card?" He asks her. She wanted that when they were at school. Even though she's only three years older than him she took on a partly parental role to him. Not completely because they were briefly fostered by one of the dojo's other teachers and his family, but she took it upon herself to keep him accountable for being better in everything, including school.

"I would if I knew you had them at this time of year. What's a practical test in demonology?" She asks curiously.

"Summoning a demon. Nothing big and powerful and all of the teachers are there to grade and also help if everything goes wrong, not that it will on my test." He adds quickly.

"Have you ever summoned a demon?" his sister asks curiously.

Zoro panics inside. Robin's brain melting siren powers can lull a person into telling the truth but he's convinced that Kuina can see into his brain. He may as well hold up a big flashing sign with the word lie on it whenever he tries. Diversion is the only escape.

"I have a boyfriend now." He blurts out instead.

Kuina raises an eyebrow and sets her cup down so that she can stare at him more easily.

"Unrelated." She says.

 _Not really._

"But I'll bite, tell me about your boyfriend. You don't usually bring them up, usually I ask and you confess, so what's different about this one?" Kuina questions him curiously.

That is a _long_ list of things that Zoro could list off about Sanji being different from his previous relationships.

"I like him. It's new… but… I like him a lot." Zoro says and the more he says it the more he realises that it really is true. He thinks about Sanji so much already, he's seeing him tonight actually.

"What's he look like?" Kuina asks him with a devious smile on her face. She's a serious person, fiercely driven and impossibly competitive but most people don't get to see the more playful side to her and the way that she can tease him. He complains about it but he does like it and love her.

"Slightly shorter than me, blonde, blue eyes, glasses but he keeps not wearing them because he's an idiot and thinks they make him look-" Zoro is cut off by Kuina laughing.

"Yeah, you like him alright! I'm glad that you're happy. Does he know that he's never getting laid? And I swear if he tries to pressure you so that he can like the last one did then I'll gut him." She says, her voice going fierce by the end.

"That's really not going to be a problem with him, trust me." Zoro assures her and finishes his drink, putting the empty glass in the sink.

"Oh? Is he not into sex either?" Kuina asks and Zoro bursts out laughing before he can stop himself. He just can't help it, the idea of Sanji of all people not wanting to have sex with anyone is just ludicrous. Sanji has never once complained about his job, aside from telling Zoro about the assholes who try to pull his tail. As far as Zoro can tell Sanji likes what he does.

"You're not being especially reassuring here Zoro." Kuina says flatly and Zoro tries to keep a straight face.

"We've talked about it, he knew all about that limit before we even had a date. He found out when he first met. He's not expecting anything, trust me." He says and Kuina looks a little less sceptical.

"Well… good I guess. As long as you're happy and stay that way, that's the main thing." His sister says in a tone that still carries the implication that should Zoro need her to murder anyone she will.

Happy. Aside from actually spending time with Sanji he can't say that he's felt especially happy or at ease lately. It's not like Sanji's making him unhappy but his existence as the kind of person that he is has ruined Zoro's world view and left him with questions that he doesn't know how to answer. Sanji as a person makes him happy, the fact that Sanji is a demon with feelings, personality and a family makes him ill at ease with his schooling.

"Zoro? You are happy, aren't you? Is everything okay?" Kuina asks gently, reaching out and touching his arm.

"I think I need to drop some subjects at school. Probably change my major and… and everything." Zoro groans, rubbing his hands over his face.

"What? Why? Is the work too much? What's happening?" she asks, worry clear on her face. Damnit, Zoro didn't want to worry her. She's already done enough for him in his life, the last thing that he should be doing in concerning her.

"No, it's not the workload. It's just…" Zoro trails off, trying to find some way to explain his sudden ethical dilemma without outing Sanji as a demon.

"You've met Brook, remember?" Zoro says, hoping that this will make sense.

"The gigantic creepy skeleton? Yeah, he's hard to forget." Kuina says with a snort.

"He's not creepy, and technically he's a lich not a skeleton." Zoro protests.

"He asked to see my panties." His sister says flatly and Zoro is fleetingly impressed that Brook is still in one piece.

"Fine, that's not the kind of creepy I was defending him from though. He's not sinister and evil was what I meant. But he's had plenty of witches trained like I am trying to kill him. Not recently of course because people are starting to get that the litch are just like anyone else, some of them are good and some of them aren't." Zoro says.

"All of my schooling… my demonology stuff and a bunch of my other classes are convinced that there are plenty of kinds of people out there who are universally evil and they're training us to kill them. I don't want to murder people for a living and be the kind of person that shows up in a history book and people look at me as a monster for killing innocent people. That's what's going to happen if I keep doing what I'm doing." Zoro insists. He really doesn't want to be a demon hunter, like the kind who killed Sanji's family. He doesn't want there to be people like Sanji whose lives are ruined because of him. He knows how that feels like after having half of his own family taken from him.

"It sounds like you've already made up your mind." Kuina notes and Zoro looks at her to see if there's a trace of disappointment on her face but he can't see any.

"Think it over until the end of term, go talk to your advisors and see what you'd need to do to switch. You need to know what you're switching to Zoro, you can't just go 'not this' and expect that to work. You're probably going to take longer to graduate too." She warns him. Zoro nods, he'd thought of all that already.

"Well then, I'm not going to stop you. Taking a hard look at your ethics isn't easy and you don't make these decisions lightly. Whatever you decide I've got your back." She says firmly.

"Thanks." Zoro nods and Kuina puts her finished glass in the sink too.

"Well, enough of that. Want to fight?" She asks with a devious grin.

"YES." Zoro agrees emphatically and races her to the main training room in the dojo.

The fight is, as with all of theirs, an utter defeat on his part. It's not even like he's not getting better, she just improves faster than him and it feels as if he'll never catch up. He'd spend all of his time training to beat her if he didn't have schoolwork and even then then temptation is high, this is why he can't live with her.

After their battle she walks him home. Although more accurately it could be said that he leads the way, following the arrow on his hand towards his home.

"You know I could get you one of these too, I'm working on breaking the curse but it does help." Zoro suggests, though it's not the first time he's suggested this by any means.

Kuina tuts and shakes her head at his words.

"I don't need that, my sense of direction is stronger than yours. Some puny curse won't affect me. I don't need any magic." She huffs indignantly.

"Your sense of direction is at least as bad as mine!" Zoro accuses her.

"Not a chance. See, you're home safe and sound. I'll see you soon, tell me if anything happens with school okay?" Kuina says, stepping ahead so that she can turn to face him. She pulls him into a hug and kisses his cheek. Neither of them are massively affectionate people but they both know how easy it is to lose family and how much every missed opportunity hurts afterwards. It's not as if they deliberately always say goodbye as if it might be goodbye forever but they do their best to never leave things with words they'll regret if it was.

On the matter of regretted words Zoro hears the first few letters of his name called out and then die in the air. He pulls back from his sister to see a wide eyed Sanji looking from him to Kuina and back again in alarm. Shit, he can't let them meet!

"Okay, you need to go now, bye!" Zoro insists, spinning Kuina around the other way and giving her a good shove.

"Zoro, who is this?" Sanji asks slowly and though the hat and coat that Sanji is wearing covers his tail and horns Zoro can still see Sanji's sharp teeth and knows full well that his sister can work out in a flash that Sanji isn't human. Even if she can't work out what Sanji is she's going to be curious.

"Zoro! Did you leave your manners back in the dojo or do I need to smack some more into you?" Kuina snaps at him and shoves a thumb into one of Zoro's rapidly forming bruises from their spar.

"Oi!" He protests, jerking back from her because she is in no way above doing that again.

"I apologise for my brother's rudeness, I'm Kuina." She says, holding out her hand.

"Oh, you're his sister. I'm… Duval. He's mentioned you before." Sanji says, pulling that fake name out of who knows where. Though Zoro knows why he's done it, he's hardly going to go giving out his true name to anyone who happens to ask. He shakes Kuina's hand pleasantly.

"I've heard about you too, it's not often Zoro talks to me about his boyfriends." She smiles and Sanji's face lights up like the sun and he can just tell that Kuina has already won her way into Sanji's good books.

"Yeah I wonder why." Zoro mutters irritably.

"So, where do you live Duval?" Kuina asks pleasantly and Zoro is torn between wishing that the earth would open up and swallow him whole and wishing it would swallow her up.

"Oh I live… down south from here." Sanji says in a voice that sounds far more innocent than a man who lives in hell has any right to have.

"Well I'm so glad you two met. Kuina shouldn't you be going home and why are you here already _Duval_?" Zoro asks pointedly and tries to shoo Kuina away.

"I was in the area for work, I thought it made more sense for me to come sooner than go all the way home and then back." Sanji answers with a shrug and Zoro doesn't want to press him for more details on his work in front of Kuina.

"Great, well if you're done interrogating him then you can go now. I really don't want you trying to scare him off." Zoro says to her but she shakes her head.

"I'm just taking an interest in the people you care about, I've met all of your friends so why shouldn't I meet your boyfriend?" Kuina asks him.

"Because the last one that you decided that you didn't like you threatened to cut his legs off!" he exclaims angrily. He'd had to find out about that one after the fact when his ex told a whole bunch of people about Zoro's supposedly "crazy sister". He'd been pissed off at her for doing it and furious at his ex for insulting his sister. Not that Kuina had any sympathy, she considered it more proof of his unsuitability for Zoro.

"He kept trying to get you to agree to sleep with him." Kuina says in a tone that suggests that particular ex will never be forgiven or forgotten.

"What? Do you have a name or address for this guy because I feel like I want-" Sanji says in a growl and Zoro turns to face him angrily.

"No! No one is doing anything to my ex, I don't _care_ about him anymore!" Zoro shouts and realises that other people on the street are looking at them as they pass by.

Sanji looks horrified and panicked, like he's done something terrible. His hands freeze midway between the pair of them as if he wants to pull Zoro close to him or reassure him somehow. Either way he thinks better of it.

"Hey, no, I didn't mean- I wouldn't if you told me not to. I'm sorry." Sanji apologises quickly and Zoro feels his resolve weaken. Damnit, Sanji's a demon and he's not had a relationship before so Zoro can't expect him to be completely tactful with human things like this. Besides Sanji wouldn't apologise and not mean it. He sighs and looks at the stupid demon that he is becoming increasingly more fond of each time he sees him.

"It's fine, just… don't murder or maim a guy just for being an asshole." Zoro sighs and runs his hands through his hair.

"Promise!" Sanji says brightly and Zoro catches Kuina looking from one of them to the other with a curious smile on her face.

"So… Duval. You said that you were working just now, what do you do for a living? I'd assumed that you went to school with Zoro." Kuina says curiously and Zoro's brain drops from soothed straight into panic.

"Kuina!" He balks in horror. He can't have Sanji lie about what he does, Kuina has a fine tuned bullshit detector and frankly Zoro is impressed that Sanji got away with a fake name.

"What's the big deal? It's a simple question Zoro." Kuina argues back and then she narrows her eyes at him, she's sensed his unease and now he's doomed. It's like throwing blood in the water with sharks.

"Unless there's something that you don't want me to know." She says slowly, her eyes laser focused on his face.

"You're being rude, you can't just demand information like that from people you just met." Zoro says, evading her question and trying to get her to back off.

"There IS something you don't want me to know!" She declares and sweat breaks out on the back of Zoro's neck.

"You're jumping to conclusions." He insists and tries to resist grabbing for his sword in case his sister tries to spar an answer out of him with the logic that he can't lie and defend himself at the same time.

"I have sex with people, that's my job." Sanji says and both Zoro and Kuina stare at him. Sanji looks… mostly relaxed about having said that. Zoro tries not to scream in frustration, Kuina is never going to let this go and Zoro can't see her approving either!

"Like… porn?" Kuina asks in shock.

"Ah, no. But… I suppose I could branch out maybe. Hm." Sanji hums thoughtfully and rubs his little goatee like they're all just discussing the weather and not the fact that he fucks people for a living, though at least he left out the soul stealing part.

"So you're a… is sex worker the right word?" Kuina asks in complete shock.

"That seems like a pretty accurate term for it, yeah." Sanji says with a shrug. How the hell is he so calm about this?

Kuina looks from Sanji to him and back again. All Zoro can do is prepare for whatever her reaction is and he's really not looking forward to it.

"That… I can actually see how that'd work. You still get laid and neither of you has to compromise anything." Kuina remarks thoughtfully.

"I'd never try to get Zoro to do something he didn't want to. Unless it was, I don't know, homework or something." Sanji laughs brightly and Kuina's smile goes Cheshire cat wide.

"Oh, I like him. Okay, I'm not going to intrude any more. You two were supposed to be having a date right? I'll see you soon Zoro, call me if you want to talk about school stuff." Kuina says brightly and kisses Zoro's cheek.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbles irritably.

"It was lovely meeting you!" Sanji chirps happily and waves at her.

"You too. We should have dinner sometime. Bye Zoro, love you." Kuina waves as she walks off.

"Love you. You're walking the wrong way by the way!" He shouts after her. Kuina turns and walks the other way, flipping him off as she goes past.

"Suddenly the family resemblance is crystal clear." Sanji snickers.

"Shut up." Zoro grumbles and moves past him, unlocking his building and going up the stairs. He unlocks his front door and shoulders it open, abandoning his keys on the table by the door and throwing his bag full of chocolate chunks on the table.

He is tired and his body is sore and he had counted on being able to have a shower and a nap before Sanji got here and he hadn't expected an interrogation.

"Zoro? Have… I done something wrong?" Sanji asks warily and Zoro turns to look at him. Sanji's tail is now unravelled and free and the end is flicking nervously.

"No, I just didn't plan on any of that happening." Zoro sighs and heads to his bathroom. He hears Sanji follow him after a moment.

"Should I not have said what I did?" Sanji asks warily.

"I don't know. I can tell you that lying to my sister is a really good way to get into her bad books and you're dating her younger brother, she already distrusts you from that. Though I think she actually likes you now, anyone that honest and that ready to maim my exes is probably okay in her books." Zoro says and bats the shower on, trying to pull his arm out from under the shower head before it turns on and gets his arm wet.

"Well that's good right? I mean it's supposed to be a big step when your boyfriend's family likes you isn't it?" Sanji says from the doorway. Zoro sits on the thankfully closed toilet and undoes his boots and starts to pull them off.

"Yeah, sure, it's good. I'm glad she likes you. It's a good sign for me at least that she likes you that's for sure." Zoro says and drops a boot on the floor before starting on the next.

"Why is it good for you?" Sanji asks warily, the end of his tail going in anxious little back and forth flicks.

"Well no one I've ever dated that she hated was any good for me and if she hated you I'd never hear the end of her talking shit about you. As it is now I'm probably just going to get asked half a million questions about you and you'll get invited places." he responds and drops his other boot on the floor.

"I'd like that. But... you still don't look happy. What did I do?" Sanji asks again, coming into the room properly this time. Zoro looks up at Sanji in bafflement and sees the incubus anxiously gnawing on his own lip and he has to remind himself again, demon in a first relationship.

"No, Sanji it's not you it's just... school shit. Ethical stuff as well I guess. I've thought about it enough today already because I had to explain it all to my sister and she's really intense about school stuff, I hate letting her down or doing anything like that." he explains gently and the worry lifts from Sanji as the words sink in.

"Family expectations and drama huh? I can relate. My old man can be a stubborn old mule but he's got my back. Your sister clearly loves you so whatever it is I'm sure it'll be fine." Sanji tells him a little awkwardly but still earnestly.

Now it's Zoro's turn to feel like a weight has been lifted. Kuina was supportive and knowing that makes him less stressed. She gave him a plan and he'll work on that and Sanji would obviously be in favour of Zoro moving out of demon hunting. The only people with a problem now are either teachers who were invested in the idea of him being a hunter who'll just have to deal with it and Zoro's friends who also just want the best for him. At worst Robin might cluck her tongue at him for not choosing his classes more carefully in the first place but she'd be proud of him for doing the self examination that led to his change in the first place so it'll even out.

"Thanks Sanji, it helps. I'm ah... gonna have a shower real quick. I was sparring with my sister and you probably don't want to be up close to me right now." Zoro says and stands up, pulling off his shirt as he does so.

"Oh yeah, sweaty men in states of undress, that's completely new to me. I'll go faint on your couch. How could you expose me to this?" Sanji says in the most sarcastic tone that Zoro has ever heard in his entire life.

"Get lost, go make yourself a drink or something and get out, asshole." Zoro growls and shoves Sanji out of the bathroom.

Zoro removes the last of his clothes and steps into the shower, letting the hot water do its wonderful thing to aching muscles and sore spots that will no doubt bruise up into yet more evidence of his latest defeat. He can feel a part of his brain gnawing on the school problem though still and no matter how many times he tries to reassure himself that he can start solving this problem tomorrow it won't go away and quit pestering his brain. He needs to turn it off, he's got Sanji over so he should really focus on him. He's his boyfriend after all.

He stills a little under the spray and he can feel a slow smile creeping over his face. Sanji is his boyfriend, who makes him happy and who Kuina approves of. When he's worked this school stuff out he really needs to ease his friends into meeting Sanji. They're the only people who might have a real problem with it, they've all been taught the same things about demons that Zoro has. The same _wrong_ things.

Maybe he can get them to meet Sanji first and see him as a person and then tell them the truth about him. It's not honest but it gives Sanji a better chance with them. They've got to like him as much as Zoro does, right? How could they not?

Zoro is starting to suspect that he's got a stupid grin on his face just from thinking about Sanji, but that would be way more sappy than he's prepared to admit to being so he's just going to shake it off and get dried off.

With a towel around his waist Zoro makes the short trek from his bathroom to his bedroom. Sanji is leaning against the kitchen counter, peering in the bag that Zoro threw there as he entered his place.

"What is this?" Sanji asks curiously, barely looking at Zoro who is wearing no more than a towel. Zoro has to remind himself that, oh yeah, incubus. Sanji has probably seen more naked people than Zoro will ever meet clothed people. Zoro nearly naked is hardly going to be revolutionary to Sanji.

"Oh, chocolate. There was a magical accident in class and the end of the story is we all got sent home with a tonne of the stuff just to get rid of it. I was trying to give it to Kuina but she wouldn't touch it. Help yourself, I don't really like sweet things." He offers and goes into his room. He hears a thanks from Sanji but mostly ignores it as he gets dressed. It'd be pointless to compete with Sanji's honed fashion sense so Zoro just throws on whatever is clean or clean enough that it passes a sniff test.

As he is pulling a hoodie on though he is halted by a... a sound from the other room. If Zoro isn't much mistake it almost sounds like something from... porn. What the hell?

Zoro goes out into the main room and sees Sanji all but slumped over the kitchen counter. His tail is flicking from excited little back and forth flicks to wide lazy and happy swipes, his eyes are half lidded, his face a picture of bliss and Zoro can even hear the happy little sigh coming from his lips.

"What... are you doing?" Zoro asks warily, tugging his hoodie down.

Sanji looks over and Zoro could almost roll his eyes at the cliché that Sanji paints. Zoro isn't in the habit of watching porn, finding it either gross, boring or weird depending on the type. But he still does watch regular movies and use the internet, he's aware that Sanji looks every bit the stereotypical love interest caught in a compromising position. Given that Sanji is an incubus Zoro isn't completely surprised but it still doesn't explain what's made him act that way, it's hardly like Sanji is trying to seduce him.

"Have you _tried_ this stuff? It's... it's amazing." Sanji enthuses and points to the bag of chocolate.

"I tried a bit before offering it to Kuina, I wanted to see if it had any weird flavour." Zoro says and walks closer. Is the chocolate odd or was there really some undetected magic floating around?

"It's _amazing_ , literally the best thing I have ever put in my mouth." Sanji says and takes another piece and groans obscenely when it touches his tongue.

Warily Zoro takes a small chunk for himself. It melts on his tongue and tastes... well, pleasant but a little too sweet for him. It's just chocolate. Decent quality chocolate but still just chocolate.

"It's just chocolate, it's not that good. Haven't you ever had it before?" he asks in confusion.

"No! Shit, if I could eat this stuff whenever I wanted I'd eat nothing else. This is... this might actually be better than sex." Sanji says wistfully and sucks the ends of his fingers where the chocolate had melted slightly. That kind of sight would probably doom lots of people into selling their soul, yet again though Zoro is safe.

"Well I guess that answers that old question. Sex and chocolate also share the quality of me not being interested in either. You're welcome to take the bag with you if you like." He offers and Sanji's eyes go wide.

"Are you serious? All of this? You don't want any at all? It's so GOOD!" Sanji gasps and clutches the bag close to his chest like the over dramatic idiot that he is.

"Yes, really." Zoro says with a smile because Sanji just became infinitely easier to shop for whenever he has to get him a gift.

"You're the best." Sanji whispers intensely.

"Hm, I have a way you could pay me back if you really wanted. I was going to ask you anyway but anything to secure your help would be good." Zoro says.

"I don't think you've ever asked me for help, except for looking at your curse. What is it you've got in mind?" the demon says with curiosity shining in his eyes.

"Well, it's magical again. It's not homework or anything it's just reversal spells. I try to never fuck up in the first place and that way I never need them but a sort of friend of mine really screwed up a spell in class today and it made me realise that I should practice fixing my own mistakes. I'm not allowed to do serious magic in the building and the high magic buildings at school are always booked up for ages and the PhD students always get first pick on it. It's not fair but it stops over tired PhD students summoning in their homes and setting loose a pack of hellhounds or the student who accidentally turned all of the birds in the block inside out." Zoro explains with a sigh. Usually he'd just bribe Robin or Franky to secure him and place seeing a Robin is working on her thesis for historical magic spells and Franky is an engineering postgrad in experimental magic machinery.

"You're thinking of working on this on your planet? No one around but me to hurt and let's face it, it's hard to hurt me. I can help, come on." Sanji offers, holding out his hand. Thankfully it's the hand that he's not been licking chocolate from.

"Let me grab my bag." Zoro says quickly and darts off to grab his school bag and of course his sword. He checks that he's got all of his basic magic supplies in his backpack and wasn't running low. He stuffs in a summoning textbook and bottle of water while he's at it and then goes back to Sanji. The blond smiles at him with fangs on display holds out his hand.

Zoro takes Sanji's hand and feels the plummeting sensation as they drop through the floor of his home and the burning midsummer day scorching heat of hell before Sanji teleports them further and out again onto Zoro's planet.

Zoro breathes in the clean early evening air, he must be on the same part of the planet roughly that Sanji put him at before as it's always in the same time of day. He assumes so anyway. Looking around he is greeted again by the bright red foliage of the trees and their sooty black bark. This time though they're at the water's edge, a rocky and flat surface of what looks to be a great lake. In the distance Zoro can only just see the opposite shore.

"You know... I want to get that water tested, see if it's safe to swim in and drink. If it is then we should go swimming some day, or magic a boat together and explore more." Zoro says, thinking aloud. Sanji's hand squeezes his in response and Zoro realises that he didn't let Sanji go after they teleported.

"I'm all for you exploring without dying." Sanji teases and Zoro lets go on his hand to shove him lightly.

"Alright, so... magic." Zoro begins. He sets his bag down on the floor and pulls his wand and one of his textbooks free.

"I keep forgetting that you have a wand, I've never actually seen you use it." Sanji remarks thoughtfully and looks and looks at the eight inch long black wood wand that is Zoro's own.

"I don't really like wand magic, give me runes and summoning circles any day." Zoro sighs and looks at it. He always just feels a touch silly when he's waving the thing around. Nami on the other hand adores hers and only switches it out if she really has to or if she can upgrade to her giant overly elaborate staff.

"Demons don't ever have them, it's weird seeing how it changes your magical aura though." Sanji remarks and tilts his head a little as he looks at Zoro.

"You can see that kind of thing huh? Well, all the same I'd prefer not to use it but the point of this is working on my weaknesses so I should stick with this." Zoro explains and starts sketching out some medium size magical containment circles which Sanji steps into before Zoro closes it. That's a smart move, there wouldn't be all that much Sanji could do to help if something goes wrong and he's stuck on the wrong side of the circle.

"So, this is the kind of thing I mean." Zoro says and bends down to pick a rock up off of the floor. He enchants the rock and transforms it from a rock to a long white swan feather. He remembers when he first started formal magic training that this kind of stuff was so hard and now it's an easy example.

"If I wanted to undo that spell normally I'd just do this." Zoro explains and performs his spell.

"I don't want to piss on your dreams here, but since you were talking about undo spells earlier I feel like I should point out that you didn't turn that back into a rock. You turned that feather into a _different_ rock." Sanji says as he looks at the rock in Zoro's palm.

"Yeah, I know. Most of the time it doesn't matter though and I've got really good at mimicking the thing it was before but..." Zoro trails off with a shrug.

"But it doesn't work all of the time and then when you need it you can't do it." Sanji finishes for him.

"Exactly." he agrees.

Sanji seems to consider this for a moment or two, his eyes flicking between the stone and Zoro and back again.

"Show me you trying to undo it." the demon says and Zoro nods.

He focuses on the pebble in his hand, previously a feather and previous to that a different rock. He can do this, he can. He recalls the right spell and wand motion and executes it calmly.

"Resolvo." Zoro recites clearly.

The small rock in his hand abruptly explodes into a far larger amount of sand that trickles out between his fingers and onto the ground below.

"Shit, that was the wrong kind of undo." Zoro groans.

"What was that, Latin? Did you go for something that also means disassemble or something?" Sanji asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Basically. You see my problem." he says and shakes the sand off of his hand. His undo spells don't always go wrong but often they do for stupid reasons like this. If he doesn't pick exactly the right form of the word then the spell latches onto an alternate meaning in the magical equivalent of autocorrect and launches off into something entirely unwanted.

"Well, I know shit about Latin so I can't help you there." the blond says with a single shouldered shrug.

"I thought you were going to help me." Zoro grumbles bitterly. He deliberately doesn't say something stupid like 'I thought demons took deals seriously' because aside from being insensitive about demons he wouldn't be alive if Sanji had held to every deal involving him. Besides, demons are loyal to their deals within a given value of loyal. Half of the preparation for summoning demons is going over proper terminology, loopholes, contracts and such. Demons will hold to a bargain but they're keen to strangle a person with their own words.

Best not to bring it up at all.

"I will. I'll teach you the spell that we use. It's just... you might not want to use it in earshot of other people and teaching it can be a little intense." Sanji says warily but Zoro isn't going to let a little danger dissuade him is he?

"I can handle it!" He declares fiercely and Sanji smiles his pointed toothed smile.

The incubus steps a little closer to him softly touches his smooth hands to either side of Zoro's face, stroking his cheeks and then settling on his jaw. Sanji leans in and kisses him, more insistent than he usually does but Zoro lets him. He doesn't see how this is helping until Sanji's tongue runs along his own and Zoro feels like the ground falls out from beneath him. His ears pop suddenly and his tongue feels like he just ate an entire bag of fizzing candy in one go. Words whisper through his brain and stick like gum.

Sanji pulls back and Zoro actually has to work his jaw a few times before his ears will pop again and stop making that irritating rushing sound like water. He feels a little unsteady on his feet and Sanji is watching him warily as if he suspects he might fall.

"Sorry, it's pretty direct." Sanji apologises awkwardly.

"And what exactly was that supposed to be? You've kissed me plenty before and it never did that. You've never given me a warning with it." Zoro says, rubbing his mouth. His lips feel tingly.

"I gave you a bit of demon tongue." Sanji explains, his face going pink.

"More than 'a bit'! Were you trying to lick my tonsils or something?" Zoro laughs and Sanji is now tomato coloured.

"I meant the language, asshole! My native language, that's what it's called. It's the easiest way I could think to transfer just one part of it. You know the undo spell that we use now, so use it." Sanji snaps, his tail flapping about in embarrassed agitation.

Zoro could keep teasing Sanji but he genuinely does want to see if that weird kiss did anything. He raises his wand again and looks down at the scattering of sand on the rocks at their feet. This feels impossible and he can't even recall the word that Sanji whispered into his brain, it was just-

The word is already coming out of his mouth. Something sibilant and with letters that he doesn't know and couldn't even write down. Below him sand flows towards a single point, running in uphill rivulets until it forms into a rock again with all of the unnatural grace of a rewinding video. He can feel the spell before him, tangible and strangely warm like no other magic he knows. He holds tight on it and the rock morphs back into a long white feather and then once more into a rock.

Zoro drops the spell whose words skitter out of the way of his conscious mind like cockroaches in daylight. It'll presumably hide away in his brain without his understanding until he needs it again.

"That was... amazing." He says in awe.

"Well, you're pretty magically skilled for a plant haired human." Sanji mutters, looking away. His face is still pink and his freckles are dark against the skin there. Zoro wants to kiss him without any magic this time and so he does. Sanji makes this startled and pleased noise into Zoro's mouth when he kisses him, like he still can't believe that this whole thing is happening. In part Zoro can't believe it either but he is so viciously happy that he won't let any of this pass him by.

"You're not so bad either." Zoro says a little breathlessly after and Sanji smiles sharply and kicks him in the knee.

Yeah, it's no wonder that Kuina likes him.


	8. Chapter 8

Sanji is sprawled on his back on his bed, the comforting warmth of his duvet covering him completely and lulling his half asleep mind into happy thoughts. Of course those thoughts are of Zoro. Zoro and his perfect little smiles that range from the heart meltingly sweet to the devious and sly. He thinks of Zoro's kindness and his warmth and how much even his smallest gestures mean. He shifts under his blankets and covers his face with his hands to smother his sappy grin, he can even feel how warm his cheeks have become just thinking about his boyfriend. And oh… kissing him, really kissing him is a dream come true.

He rolls onto his side and imagines dreamily of being in Zoro's bed like this, just curled up with him and sharing sleepy words in the dark. Sanji wonders if Zoro's voice would be rough when he's tired like men's voices sometimes get after sex, Sanji would probably die if he heard Zoro all tired and gravelly voiced.

The sound of hooves on the wooden floor of his room stirs Sanji from his sleepy daydreams and the duvet being yanked back destroys them entirely. Sanji groans and flops onto his back and kicks up at his old man's arm, but he can't reach from all the way down on the bed.

"Get up half pint, you have work to do today." Zeff says, looking down at him.

"I really DON'T old man! I pulled double shifts the last two days and fucked my way through half of Upper Manhattan to secure this whole day off so I'm not doing shit!" Sanji argues and sits up to try to pull his blanket back down.

"Great, so you can help me in the kitchen." Zeff says, clearly pleased and clearly having planned this. Sanji lets go of the duvet and falls back onto his mattress with a bounce.

"I… I can't. I have something I need to do tonight, I gotta be somewhere and I have to spend the day getting ready." Sanji explains with guilt creeping hot up the back of his neck.

"But- but if I manage to get some time I'll help and I'll help when I get back if you still need me." He offers guiltily.

"What could you possibly have planned that takes a whole day to get ready for?" Zeff asks skeptically, tilting his head and squinting at Sanji.

"None of your business you old nag!" Sanji snaps and throws himself face down on the bed.

"If you were spending time with work people you'd tell me and I'd know if you were in trouble because I would have found out and probably bailed you out of it." Zeff says thoughtfully.

"Only probably? Gee, thanks so much. I'm trying to sleep you know so if you'd just leave me alone that'd be great." Sanji says pointedly and shoves his face back into his pillow again.

"You're embarrassed." Zeff concludes.

"Are you really not going to let me be until you find this out?" Sanji asks, looking up at his old man.

"I'll leave it alone if you come and work instead. It's your choice." the sneaky old bastard says slyly. Sanji glowers but feels himself relenting. Zeff has been getting his own way for longer than most people have even been alive, he's somewhat outgunned here.

"I'm… dating someone. A guy. It's still kind of new and I've never done this before and it's important so I really don't want to fuck this up." Sanji explains, sitting up and looking down at his bedsheets instead of at Zeff himself.

"Anyone I know?" Zeff asks after a moment of thought.

"No!" Sanji exclaims with a laugh, like he would be seen dead with the assholes who work in the kitchen or any of the wimpy waiters.

"What's he like?" he asks, his fake leg tapping on the ground. The gold of the prosthetic limb sends shimmering patterns of light across the floor.

"Why the interest?" Sanji asks challengingly, meeting Zeff's eyes. He doesn't look angry as such but certainly on edge.

"I took you in and raised you myself, brat. And if some boy thinks that he can use you for any ulterior motive I will grab hold of him and reduce him to still screaming jerky and eat him alive." Zeff growls and Sanji winces at the mental image. An absurd idea occurs to Sanji and he bursts out laughing before he can help it.

"What's so funny?" Zeff demands, stamping a hoof on the floor.

"No, no, nothing. It's just- I mean he's not like that for one thing but I met his sister the other day. She seemed to have much the same attitude to his terrible exes. You two would probably get on." Sanji laughs, not that he has the intention of introducing that nice girl to his old man. It's not like Zeff should really be on Earth anyway, it's not good for anyone.

"You have seemed happier lately, less pissy and bitchy anyway." Zeff hums thoughtfully and twirls his moustache braid.

"I am NOT pissy and bitchy ever! Fuck you!" Sanji snarls, leaping up onto his feet and shoving his middle finger up in Zeff's face. He probably didn't prove his point very well there but nevermind.

"What's this boy do then?" Zeff asks, ignoring Sanji's outburst.

"He's a student. It's advanced stuff, he's pretty smart not that you'd know it until you really get him talking on something. He's not the show off bookworm type." Sanji explains with a happy little smile. His boyfriend is really smart but he's just good at what he does and doesn't need to prove it. Honestly he's honoured that Zoro held him in high enough regard to ask for his help on spellwork. Though the method of teaching him had been more than pleasant.

"Younger than you then." Zeff concludes.

Zoro is nineteen, too fucking right he's younger than Sanji. Sanji is ten times his age! Sure they were crossing a species barrier and it didn't really have much meaning when demons by and large couldn't die of old age. Still, younger is a bit of an understatement.

"Yeah." Sanji agrees as neutrally as he can.

"And he doesn't care what you are?" Zeff asks suspiciously. That right there is the real reason Sanji's never dated before, no one likes incubi and succubi. Except… Zoro. Zoro's never once belittled Sanji for what he is and if anything he had seemed offended that any other demon would look down on Sanji.

"He likes me how I am." Sanji says softly and can't help the dumb smile on his face.

"Fine, you get the day off but you're helping me tomorrow." Zeff says with a put upon sigh and then vanishes in a puff of acrid smoke. It's really not that easy for him to get down the stairs, and why bother when he can just teleport?

Sanji sits back on his bed, there's no chance of him going back to sleep now so he may as well get up. He glances across to his alarm clock and feels his heart stop when he sees that he was meant to be up hours ago and for some reason the stupid thing didn't go off! Oh, he has so much to do and so little time in which to do it!

He flings himself into the bathroom and starts getting ready. He has a long bath filled with all of the best kind of bath oils that he usually hoards for special occasions, he scrubs and buffs every inch of himself until his skin is pink and glowing and perfectly smooth. He cuts and files all of his nails, trims his fringe ever so slightly, applies and removes several face masks and shapes his eyebrows. He does everything. It doesn't matter that Zoro might not even notice, he needs to feel like he looks okay. Sure he can use glamour but it's easier with a good base to work from and he can't seem to hold onto his glamour fully with Zoro around any more. It's as if Zoro makes him drop his guard. And that's… well, fine isn't the word that Sanji would choose but there's nothing he can really do about it. Zoro's still going to be looking at him though and when his glamour eventually does fall he'd rather not look like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Hours later and finally done he still has a few hours left. Nowhere near enough time to choose the right clothes but it'll have to do. He looks himself up and down in the mirror and pouts unhappily. What can he possibly wear to impress Zoro?

Sanji snaps his fingers and goes from wearing just a towel to wearing what Zoro had been wearing the last time that they met. Black jeans with holes in tucked into a pair of big thick boots and a t-shirt for some kind of band that Sanji's never heard of. Although on Zoro the design was so warped by his extensive chest muscles that the text wasn't easily readable. Zoro should look like shit when he wears this crap but he still makes Sanji's mouth water to see him. How does he do it?!

The world twists and warps, getting cooler and then suddenly Sanji is not in his room but in Zoro's living room. He was running late but not that late! Why is he here and, oh shit, and wearing Zoro's clothes too?

"Sanji, I'm sorry, I know it's early but-" Zoro exclaims, he looks stressed and worried. Sanji shoves aside his own embarrassment for a moment and pays attention to Zoro.

"What's wrong?" Sanji asks worriedly.

"I can't see you tonight. We really need a better way of talking to each other than just summoning you. I'm really sorry to bail on you." Zoro apologises.

Sanji's heart sinks. He'd gone through so much to look good for tonight, he'd put in so much extra work to have the day and night free for Zoro. What could be so urgent that Zoro would only tell him now?

"Why?" He asks.

"You know that demonology professor that hates me?" Zoro groans, going to his dining room table and throwing books and supplies in his backpack as he talks.

"I know of him." Sanji says.

"Well he got pissed off because I changed my majors and the department is trying to talk me out of it, but he hates me and wants me gone. So he switched the days of my final so that instead of next week my practical test is in… forty five minutes." Zoro sighs, looking at his watch and then patting himself down until he remembers that his wand is on the table still.

"That seems unfair. Are you going to be okay on the test without the extra time? Can you even get there in time?" Sanji presses.

"Well, I finally got my license back so I can fly there but I am still cursed so it might be a longer route than it should be. But it's at the base of the mountain on this side so it should be relatively easy to find. I'm going to ace the test and rub it in that fucker's face, if he has to cheat to try to make me fail then he stands no chance." Zoro snarls and pulls his bag on. He goes to his hallway cupboard and pulls out a honest to god broomstick and Sanji just manages to stop himself from laughing. He didn't think witches still flew on those things!

"Wait, what did you even do to get your license revoked? And you need a license to fly around on that stupid thing?" he asks, giggles starting to seep in between his words.

"I… got turned around a little and flew into a high energy magic area which was restricted. I got off of the hook when I told them about my curse but it took ages for the paperwork to go through, okay?" Zoro says defensively.

Sanji feels like his grin is probably ear to ear by now but he tries to keep a hold on it.

"So you got in trouble because you got lost? So lost it was _illegal_?" Sanji cackles and Zoro whaps him in the face with the end of his broom and walks off.

"What do you have to do in your exam anyway?" Sanji asks curiously as Zoro opens the window in his living room and hops up on the ledge.

"Summon a demon." Zoro explains and climbs on his broom a little awkwardly.

"You could summon me." Sanji suggests flirtatiously, leaning against the window ledge and looking up at Zoro through his lashes. That usually gets most people's hearts pounding but it just makes Zoro laugh and lean down to meet him.

"You'd be killed and I'd be arrested. I'll summon you tonight when I get home and we'll work out another date, I'll make this up to you I swear." Zoro says softly and kisses him quickly and gently.

"It's ok. Good luck." Sanji tells him and Zoro launches himself out of the window and flies off. He's following the arrow on his hand but it really shouldn't be needed, not when Sanji can see the mountain in the distance from here. To his credit he at least doesn't fly off in the wrong direction.

Sanji sits on the window ledge and watches Zoro disappear into the darkness. It's clearly not Zoro's fault but Sanji can't help but feel… let down. He had wanted so much to spend time with Zoro tonight and now it's been taken from him. Of course he would have chewed Zoro's ear off if Zoro had tried to ditch his exam just to hang out with Sanji, not to mention what his sister would do.

Still… Zoro said that he wouldn't summon him, not that he couldn't go with. And he can absolutely follow after him and watch how his test goes. Then perhaps if his friends are there they could meet and Sanji could be introduced to them and it would be just like it is in movies. He is so going to follow Zoro. Sanji leaps out of the window and pulls it shut behind him, just balancing carefully on the small amount of window ledge he eyes up the mountain and teleports.

He appears in the dark mountain woods and though he has to teleport around a bit to find the right place he soon comes across the place that Zoro mentioned. There is a large clearing at the foot of the mountain which is lit with a large bonfire and a great variety of small candles. Milling about are students of varying stripes and ancestral liniages. Sanji can see what he meant about pure human being relatively rare at his school if this is a representative slice of his fellow students.

His eyes are drawn to the tall pointy eared man who is standing in the clearing talking to a student with gills who is gesturing to the chalk circle on the floor and saying something about supplies. Sanji settles down on the edge of a hill and keeps his eyes on the distant group. A figure enters the clearing at a slight jog and Sanji can tell that it's Zoro before he's even lit up. A few of his classmates glance at him and one older guy waves sleepily at him. Two people bristle at his entrance though, one of whom is the tall pointy eared man who Sanji assumes is Zoro's teacher. The second is a woman about Zoro's age with incredibly long black hair and a figure that would make a succubus jealous, Sanji isn't sure what she's mixed with but it's clearly something designed to lure humans in.

The incubus mutters a spell under his breath as Zoro draws close to his teacher and suddenly the voices from below are crystal clear in Sanji's head.

"-weren't going to show up to this exam at all." The teacher says snottily.

"Oh no, I appreciated the two hour notice you gave me to get ready for it." Zoro says flatly and Sanji's eyes widen at the barely repressed hostility in Zoro's tone and body language. He's trying for respectful even though his desire is to punch the asshole in the face.

A kindly looking older man walks up to Zoro, clearly the other teacher although he's not wearing anything formal or distinguished. Far from it, the old man looks like he intends to go spelunking in some mountain caves after all this is done. He couldn't look more different from the other teacher.

"Zoro, young man!" The hiker type man booms, his voice loud enough that Sanji could have heard all of it without his little spell.

"Professor." Zoro greets him with a smile and a small respectful bow. Sanji feels a smile creep onto his face and his tail wave happily at seeing Zoro enjoying interacting with someone else. Oh, if only he could go down there.

"It's so good to see you, I didn't realise that you were in this test period until I got here earlier." The man says, slapping Zoro on the shoulder.

"It was… last minute." Zoro says carefully.

"Please tell me you've reconsidered your decision on demon hunting, I know it can get a little nerve wracking at this time in your life what with having to choose your future but you're my best student. You're a bright young lad with plenty of fire in your blood, you'd be an asset to the field." The man says.

Sanji's blood freezes. He knows that demonology was what Zoro specialised in and Zoro had even uncomfortably mentioned before that his teachers were trying to steer him down that sort of path. But the thought of Zoro being like the man who killed Sanji's biological parents and nearly killed him as well as countless others, well it just makes him ill.

Zoro looks almost as uncomfortable as Sanji feels which does something at least to calm Sanji down. He can't see the teacher in the same way again though, who knows how many demons that man has killed?

"I can't, I'm sorry. I still love learning about demons but I just can't… that practical part of it isn't what I want to do. I can't live with that." Zoro insists and Sanji's heart aches for him. It's clear that this change is because of Sanji, that Zoro examined all that he was taught and chose Sanji's truth instead.

"Well seeing as this is a _practical_ test, I guess we'll have to see how you fare with that." The other teacher says meanly and whisks the larger man off with him to check the large circles and runes around the group.

Zoro sighs and walks to the line of students who seem to be ordering themselves in a particular way, presumably the order in which they are to take the test. Sanji watches Zoro grab a piece of paper and tick something off on a sheet, Zoro appears to be working out how many people are before him in his test taking. From this angle he can't see Zoro's face but he can see his body language and sees how Zoro's back straightens and his head turns to scan along the line of people.

Sanji looks in the direction that Zoro seems to be staring in and sees that the pretty woman from before is looking right at Zoro with a smile on her face. Is she one Zoro's friends? She seemed tense at seeing him before but maybe Sanji read that wrong. He knows that Zoro has a few female friends but he's pretty sure that the two Zoro mentioned before had visible feathers, or maybe that was only some of the time. Oh boy, if this girl is one of Zoro's friends then maybe he can meet her afterwards!

The mere thought has Sanji's tail flicking from side to side so fast that someone could harness it as an energy source. He focuses as Zoro fits into place in line next to her. She flicks her hair gracefully over her shoulder and smiles at him.

"Zoro." She purrs.

"Boa." Zoro responds, short and curt.

"Nervous?" She asks lightly.

"No, and I'm sure you're not either." Zoro says and Sanji's tail starts to slow. Zoro's voice is… off. He sounds cold, not angry as such but… calculating. Sanji doesn't know why but this classmate is not Zoro's friend at all.

"Well, I'm glad you're finally acknowledging my superior skill. I mean really, being a witch is for women and men shouldn't be-" She starts to go on dramatically but Zoro cuts her off.

"I was thinking more because of all the practice you have." Zoro says flatly and Boa freezes for a second before loosening up and pretending like she doesn't know what Zoro means. Sanji is starting to get the idea. Sanji isn't usually the one to answer a direct summoning, they have a rota for who answers those. The demon running the summoning just passes the contract on nine times out of ten so Sanji never saw who contracted him to take Zoro's soul.

"I practice all of my chanting and containment circles extensively of course." She says airily.

"You need to stay away from Luffy." Zoro tells her, leaning in a little closer so that people who aren't using magical listening spells like Sanji couldn't hear them.

"No! I love Luffy and he loves me too he just doesn't realise it fully yet and I won't let you stand in my way." She snarls at him, not smart enough to cut her own volume down.

"Kinda hard to top trying to murder me though isn't it? Look, I don't care about your screwed up crush and normally I don't interfere with this but you're dangerous and you don't take no for an answer. He's my friend and it's my job to protect him." Zoro says darkly and Sanji feels himself growling at Boa. Sure she's responsible for Sanji meeting Zoro and he is grateful that happened but he's significantly less happy that she tried to murder his boyfriend.

"I'm sure I could try again, second time's the charm." She hisses at him and Sanji can't help but smirk. Calling another incubus on Zoro isn't going to work any better the second time, Zoro's name is blacklisted now as a case no incubi or succubi will take.

"I'd been thinking that I'd just tell Luffy but he'd either try to make us friends or he'd snap and kick the shit out of you which would get him thrown out of school. That'd either piss us both off or ruin Luffy's dream of being the strongest magical fighter, I don't want either." Zoro continues almost as if she hadn't just spoken and threatened his life again. Rage flashes in her eyes and Sanji watches her hair start to move independently of her, going from silky strands to long thick tendrils that seem to be moving independently. An eye opens on one coil of hair and Sanji's mind flashes up with 'gorgon', he knew she wasn't all human.

"You're not going to do that!" She all but spits in his face and Zoro seems to waver a little, perhaps put off by the still forming snake hair. If he backs down from this Sanji will offer to take her out for him, or if Zoro wants to keep his hands clean Sanji can call in a favour and get her dragged down below by Patty. Sanji's fingernails are shifting to claws and he deeply wants to sink them into her awful body himself, how dare anyone try to hurt his Zoro? He'll end her!

"No, I won't do that." Zoro admits and the triumphant grin on her face makes Sanji want to spit fire.

"Have you thought about what you were going to get the demon that you summon to do? You have to make it perform a task to prove you have it under your control." Zoro says casually, a smile starting to form on his lips. Sanji is completely confused but it at least looks like Boa is just as puzzled, patches of her hair going from snake back to hair once more.

"Are you trying to cheat off of me or something?" She asks in suspicious confusion.

"No, it's just what I'm going to ask mine to do changes depending on if you agree to leave Luffy alone." Zoro says simply and Sanji stares in interest because Zoro's expression is just what he's seen in his spell work before. He's in control and he knows just what he's doing, no doubt unnerving for Boa to see.

"Are you that thick? You can't just get a demon to attack me, you'll be arrested." she laughs at him. She'll be real surprised when Sanji catches up to her then won't she?

"Oh yeah, anyone dumb enough to summon a demon without a license would get kicked out of school and lose their wand, not to mention sending a demon to kill another student. That'd land you in jail for at least twenty years. So, are you going to leave Luffy alone or not?" Zoro asks.

"You can't prove anything and you can't threaten me so no, keep pushing me and the school might end up with a new statue outside of it." Boa threatens, her eyes flashing white for a split second.

"Then I guess I'll be asking my demon to point out which of my classmates has summoned an incubus. Since a bound demon has to comply with a command it's not like it could lie, it would be indisputable evidence. I'd confirm it of course and I'm sure you didn't cover all of your tracks. The end is you're far away from Luffy and he doesn't have to find out why." Zoro states matter of factly.

Sanji closes his mouth, it had fallen open in sheer shock. He knew Zoro was smart but he never figured he was smart in this kind of cunning way. Damn he'd make a fine demon if he's capable of doing that kind of scheme on a regular basis, it's actually kind of… hot. He'll perhaps not mention that to Zoro though, he'd hate for the man to get the idea that Sanji has expectations that he doesn't have.

Boa for her part is an ashy grey as she tries to find a way out of Zoro's little trap. She can't do it though, it's beautiful in its simplicity.

"Hancock, Boa." The teacher calls out and Sanji realises that Boa is the next in line for her test.

Zoro tilts his head expectantly, as soon as she's done it'll be his turn and her life as she knows it will be over. Whether Zoro does that or not is all on her. Boa is frozen to the spot, rather ironic given her species.

"Boa!" The teacher calls out again, sounding agitated.

"Fine! Fine. I'll… stay away." Boa hisses, her tongue catching on the snakelike sounds. Zoro smiles and nods and she marches off to her test, her hair in full snake mode.

As soon as she's not looking at him Zoro visibly sags with relief and looks a hell of a lot less tense. He combs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

"I owe Nami two pints of blood for that easily, holy shit." Zoro mutters to himself and Sanji smiles slowly. So that really was out of character for Zoro, the scheming part at least. Sanji wonders just how much Zoro told his friend Nami to get her relevant help with the issue.

Sanji observes as the part gorgon girl manages to royally screw up her test, likely from nerves. When she commands the small fire imp to do a backflip for her it just cackles madly and flips her off with both tiny hands. They've all been summoning fire imps, the little critters are demons in the way that little zoo monkeys are people. They just have the brains for spite and really basic magic and so they're mostly used to power things across Sanji's dimension. If they keep getting yanked out for this kind of stuff it really explains all of the stupid power cuts the Baratie always gets.

The little demon is dispelled and Boa is shuffled on, her test complete.

"Roronoa, Zoro." The teacher calls out and a thrill runs down Sanji's spine and up his tail at hearing Zoro's true name. A true name has power and Sanji can taste Zoro's as it's called, a little echo of his soul that plays over Sanji's senses. He knows that he's going to repeat it to himself alone in the future just to taste it on his tongue.

All uncertainty falls away from Zoro's figure, his body language becoming confident and determined. He pulls a square of cloth from his pocket and ties it around his head as a bandana. It's not like Zoro has hair to keep out of his eyes while he's summoning or anything, is it a habit he picked up from his longer haired sister or did a younger Zoro have longer locks? Sanji can't help but imagine how cute that would have been.

Zoro moves to the circle and re marks everything, writing the correct symbols and runes in their right places and adding extra layers of security. Zoro steps inside and seals things with his wand, stopping outside magic from getting in and inside from getting out. It also stops Sanji being able to hear Zoro's calm incantations any more from the distance that he's at.

All demons are required to take courses on mortals summoning them, on how to spot when a mortal hasn't set things up properly and leaving them unprotected. Sanji's work is too specialised to need that kind of knowledge for the most part and it would be really hard for someone to accidentally summon an incubus when they were shooting for generic demon. Still if someone did summon him by mistake and wasn't trying to make a contract with him then all of Sanji's restrictions on consent fall away entirely. Sanji could turn someone inside out with the right spell, one Carne taught him in the kitchen one day for a laugh. He's not sure that he'd do that though, not when he has the chance to eat a whole human soul for free.

As he watches Zoro's casting work though he has to admit that it's flawless. Zoro has his magical problems for sure, his inability to levitate things and his troubles with undoing spells spoke to that but in summoning and protective magic he is perfect. Zoro summons the same kind of small fire imp and Sanji notes that he crouches down to talk to it face to face at a safe distance, not ordering it from above like the others had. Zoro asks it some question and the imp responds, looking a little surly but not angry like Boa's had done before. With that done Zoro dismisses the little demon and neatly closes all of his wards and exits his circle. The two teachers look quite different in their reactions, the portly one who was encouraging Zoro to become a murderer of demons is smiling and nodding, even clapping slightly. The one who seems to be less of a fan of Zoro is clearly seething, presumably because there was nothing he could fault Zoro for.

Boa for her part looks relieved, evidently Zoro didn't ask his threatened question and she's not about to spend the rest of her life behind bars.

The last few students take their test with varying degrees of success and then all of them are dismissed while the teachers set about clearing up after the students. Zoro wanders off on his own immediately while the other students hang back and talk to each other he picks up his broom and heads out. Sanji scrambles to his feet and rushes after Zoro, he doesn't want to get too close or risk using too much demonic magic close to this many witches but he has to catch his boyfriend. He could just assume that Zoro is heading in a straight line and then catch up with him further away but this is Zoro and a straight line might be too much to ask.

Sanji's eyes catch something in the distance taking flight and, yeah, that's Zoro. He focuses his gaze on Zoro's moving form. Teleportation is already hard, but teleporting onto a moving object is harder still. He can do this though. He crouches and leaps into the teleportation spell to give himself some momentum.

Sanji bursts out of the air with a crack and lands on the back of Zoro's broom. The weight of it rapidly shifts as Zoro hadn't planned on him being there and Zoro's sudden alarm doesn't help his control any. Suddenly there is a lot of screaming from both of them, the world whirling around them like a top and a flash of steel in Sanji's face. They thankfully smack into a billboard before Zoro can shank him with his sword.

"Wow no wonder you lost your license before." Sanji remarks, getting to his feet on the narrow ledge of the billboard.

"What the FUCK?!" Zoro shouts up at him angrily.

"You're not hurt are you? It's only funny if you're not really hurt." Sanji points out. Zoro looks fine but humans are so… _squishy_.

"I'm fine you asshole!" Zoro snaps and gets to his own feet unsteadily.

"Then quit whining." He tells him and Zoro's eye twitches in irritation.

"Why are you here you stupid curly demon? There are other witches about, I just had my test and-" Zoro starts to rant angrily but Sanji cuts him off.

"I know, I saw. You did so well!" Sanji compliments him brightly. That ought to change the tone of this conversation, Zoro's clearly just annoyed about the crash. Talking about his test ought to change that.

"You… were there?" Zoro asks slowly, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah. I wanted to see how you'd do, I mean I already got the time off so I might as well have stayed up here. Plus your education is important to you and I wanted to see it myself and I figured… maybe if some of your friends were taking the test with you then you could have introduced us afterwards." Sanji explains feeling a little embarrassed. He just wants to be a more integral part of Zoro's life, to have a relationship to the people who are important to him. Meeting Zoro's sister was a huge boost but his friends would be even better!

"What is wrong with you?" Zoro asks, his voice low.

"What… do you mean?" Sanji asks uncertainly, doubt suddenly gnawing in the pit of his stomach. Did he do something wrong?

"What do I mean?!" Zoro balks, his expression pure disbelief. He still has his sword in one hand and his broom in the other but he seems to have forgotten about them for staring at Sanji.

"I mean that you followed me here when I told you that you couldn't come, you put yourself in danger by getting who knows how close to a bunch of nervous witches desperate to prove themselves and two highly experienced _demon hunters_. They would have hunted you down without a moment's hesitation and I couldn't have stopped them alone and if they found out that I summoned you my life would be over! Are you completely BRAINDEAD?!" Zoro shouts angrily at him.

"I didn't… think that…" Sanji says weakly.

"What you didn't think I'd mind you stalking me or mind you risking your life and everything I've worked for in mine?" Zoro demands and Sanji flinches back.

He's fucked up, he's fucked up. He's had this relationship with Zoro and he's ruining it, he didn't even think about any of that stuff he just did it. He just wanted to see Zoro being amazing. He needs to fix this, he has to.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to… I didn't think about it like that I just wanted to see you!" He pleads, reaching out to Zoro as if he can somehow bridge this emotional gap between them with a physical one.

Zoro is shaking his head and muttering angrily under his breath. He stuffs his sword into his backpack and Sanji notes that there's no way it can do that without some kind of space altering magic to it but that's not his concern right now.

"There's always something." He catches Zoro mutter.

Zoro looks up at him and his eyes are hard, almost like how he looked at Boa earlier.

"You can get back home right? You don't need anything from me this time?" Zoro asks, his tone flat.

"No, I don't. Not when you use my name to summon me like you always do. Zoro I-" Sanji says quickly but Zoro cuts him off.

"Great. You shouldn't stay around with this many witches and demon hunters, I don't want you to get killed." Zoro says, swinging his broom around and climbing on.

"But- no, Zoro I should go with you. We should talk about this, let me apologise properly I'll do anything please." Sanji begs.

"No." Zoro says and pushes away from the billboard so that he's floating out of Sanji's reach.

"Go to hell, and stay away from me." Zoro says coldly and with that he shoots off into the night sky leaving Sanji alone on a shitty billboard advertisement for toothpaste.

Sanji feels his heart stab with pain and he can't let Zoro go, he has to fix this he just has to!

But… Zoro was right. He followed him without his consent and he put them both in so much danger. He didn't mean anything bad but what difference does that make? From here he could still teleport to Zoro's broom or even to his home. He could try to reason with him but Zoro made his wishes crystal clear. Zoro doesn't want him to follow.

He's not going to hurt Zoro a second time.

Sanji slides down against the billboard, his hand over his mouth. He wants to scream, break things, swear at his own idiocy and he can't do that here. He can't risk himself or Zoro further.

He squeezes his eyes shut and thinks of home.

His usual spells are more precise, like his room or a particular street. Home is a nebulous concept and the magic tries to find him the closest match without putting him inside space that something or someone else is already occupying. So it shouldn't surprise him that he returns to the middle of the Baratie's kitchen, right at Zeff's metal shoes.

Sanji looks up through tear filled eyes to Zeff's wide stunned ones. Zeff looks him over and his surprise becomes anger.

"Who do I need to kill?" He demands with a growl and another chef quickly rescues the food from Zeff's hands.

"It was my fault." Sanji mumbles, standing up a little weakly and rubbing at his face.

"It was that boy you were seeing, right?" Zeff demands, catching Sanji's face in his large hands.

"I did something bad. I followed him when he told me not to, I could have got us both killed. I found him and he got angry, he told me to leave him alone and then he left me. I'm such a fucking idiot, what is wrong with me?!" Sanji blurts out in one long awful stream and then buries his face straight ahead in Zeff's torso rather than look at him.

"Zeff, please the kitchen!" One of the cooks wails and Sanji can vaguely hear the sound of all of them scrambling out of the way of Zeff's powers and rescuing the food.

"It's not the end of the world!" Patty shouts loudly.

"Feels like it." Sanji whimpers.

"ZEFF!" Another shouts. Sanji looks up.

The wood under the floor is withering away, metal tarnishing and the stack of paper order slips molds and decays before Sanji's eyes.

"Stop." Sanji grumbles and thumps his fist on Zeff's chest. Zeff grunts but the spreading powers seem to halt.

"He just told you to leave him alone?" Zeff says after a moment.

"Well technically he said go to hell as well." Sanji replies unhappily. Zeff huffs a silent breathy laugh and Sanji glares up at the old bastard laughing at his misfortune.

"Knowing my shitty eggplant he chose a boy just as stupid and quick tempered as he is. Certainly as creative with insults. If he's anything like you then take my advice from dealing with you for your whole life, let him cool off. He probably didn't mean half the bad shit he said." Zeff advises him.

"You say that like I'm awful to deal with!" Sanji snarls angrily.

Zeff raises one solitary eyebrow.

Sanji hisses like a scalded cat but of course Zeff remains unthreatened and eventually Sanji drops it and gives up.

"I fucked up though, I don't know how to do this relationship stuff and I blew it. I'm the worst." Sanji sighs unhappily.

"You apologise?" Zeff asks calmly and sensibly. Sanji hates when he sounds calm and sensible.

"Repeatedly. I'm not a complete asshole." Sanji tells him.

"Well, then he'll either forgive you or he won't." Zeff says and rubs his hand in the top of Sanji's hair.

"Yeah those are the fucking options in that binary scenario, thank you for enlightening me shit stick!" Sanji snarls and shoves at Zeff with his foot, not that it budges his considerably larger mass.

"What I mean is there 'aint nothing you can do about it now." the old man says and Sanji groans and paces on the spot, the now rotten floorboards complaining at the movement.

"You know, and if he breaks your heart after this just tell me where he is and I'll give him a long and painful death." Zeff adds lightly.

"Just not in the kitchen if you don't mind?" Carne says pointedly and Sanji looks over to see the other cook clambered on a work surface away from the floor.

"Look at the mess you made, brat!" Zeff says scoldingly.

"I don't have the power to do this, that's you!" Sanji argues back.

"It was your fault. Get out of my kitchen." Zeff snaps and shoves at Sanji.

The blond flips off everyone present and teleports upstairs to his room. Sanji falls face down on the bed and smothers his face in a pillow. Even with just a moment alone to himself Sanji can feel the crushing guilt and self loathing coming back. He had a good thing and screwed it. Zeff's probably right to kick him from the kitchen, he'd be no good around food like this.

He rolls onto his side and sees the bag of chocolate that Zoro gave him before. He's been rationing it carefully but now seems like a good time for it. He takes a small bit and lets the magic flavour melt on his tongue. It makes him miss Zoro all the more and he just has to hope that Zoro will forgive him.


	9. Chapter 9

It has been six days since Zoro broke up with Sanji. Six days since he left his boyfriend on a billboard and flew off into the night alone. He felt lousy that night when he got home but he had expected his mood to improve in the following days, but that wasn't what happened. He felt worse and worse, he felt lonely without Sanji and he found himself spotting things in movies or in the world around him that he knows would interest the demon only to remember that they're not together anymore.

He had tried to train with Kuina to snap him out of his funk but all he had got was his ass kicked once and then again when he'd refused to divulge the reason for his state to his sister. He'd been losing focus in class and his friends were noticing that something was wrong. For example he suspects that this coffee break with Franky was more than just coffee.

"Here you go buddy, a fresh cuppa joe." Franky says brightly, setting a cup down in front of Zoro. It's the generic white takeaway kind from their campus coffee place, it's even got the little plastic to-go lid on the top.

"Thanks." Zoro replies with as much feeling as he can muster.

Franky sets his large body down in the chair opposite Zoro in his workshop, being a PhD student in advanced magical engineering he gets his own workspace. Partially from the prestige of the position and partially because no one else wants to be near his inventions if and when they go wrong. Franky could have got his PhD instantly if he'd submitted his own body as his thesis. When he was younger an accident had caused him to meld magic and metal together to repair himself and he just kept going ever since. His body was once human but now is decidedly more and less than human all at once. No one else has been able to replicate his work since and Franky has flat out refused to let people examine his inner machinations, he said he didn't like people knowing how he ticked.

One of the perks of the work space that Franky has is a private place to meet people. Namely somewhere that Franky can talk to Zoro in private where he has no excuse to hold back on his answers.

"How's things?" Franky asks casually as he drinks his own drink.

"It's fine. Aced my summoning test." Zoro answers with a shrug.

He sips his own drink but freezes when the taste of it hits his tongue. Warm frothy milk foam covered in chocolate powder. His brain makes the quick step to Sanji eating chocolate for the first time and then their breakup, that's got to be the fastest leap that he's taken yet. What the hell is the matter with him?

"Uh… that's good… you don't look happy though bro." Franky says slowly and Zoro realises that some of what he's feeling must be showing on his face.

Zoro glares at his offending coffee. Franky is just doing this because Robin has guided him into it, goodness knows how many of his friends suspect that something is up and he can't tell them about Sanji. Sanji is a demon and their relationship isn't something he can just be upfront about, as much as he dislikes lying.

"Zoro?" Franky asks softly, setting a hand gently on Zoro's shoulder. Up close he can hear the slight turning of gears inside Franky's large forearms and the warm weight of his palm on Zoro's shoulder.

Franky's face is… worried. He's his friend and he's worried about him and Zoro's treating him, treating all of his friends, like they're adversaries to outsmart and deceive.

"You dated people before Robin, right?" He asks Franky a little uneasily.

"A few. Truth be told I'm not sure I could have handled Robin if I didn't have some experience with dating." Franky says with a slight chuckle.

Like Sanji who had never dated anyone before Zoro and Zoro knows that he can't be the easiest person to date. But there's nothing unreasonable about Zoro's demands on their relationship is there? Although that should be past tense, he doesn't have a relationship with Sanji any more and doesn't have any current demands on him at all. Zoro's insides feel unpleasantly hollow.

"Can you keep a secret for me?" Zoro asks, looking up at Franky again.

"Within reason. But as long as you're not about to get yourself killed doing something dumb or do that to anyone else then I think we're good. What's up?" Franky says with a smile, and though he's joking Zoro is almost certain that the specific confession that he was dating a demon would count as something dumb that could get him or someone else killed. Best to keep it vague then.

"I was dating someone. I wanted it to be secret from all of you because… well… you know what it's been like before." Zoro says hesitantly.

"Are you referring to the time when Nami threatened to break your ex's legs for being a jerk or the guy that Robin caught talking about all of the really sexual things he was gonna do to you so she hexed him?" Franky asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Wait, I never heard about that second one. When was that?" Zoro asks with wide eyed shock. Franky laughs a little nervously.

"Oh, you never heard about that? Well, you didn't hear it from me that's for sure. Yeah, she didn't much care for him talking about you like that so she hexed him. Every time the guy thought about you in that creepy kind of way he'd feel like she was crushing his nuts. I guess she wouldn't be Robin if she wasn't beautiful and terrifying." Franky laughs loudly.

"Great. Well, you can see why I didn't want to tell everyone. I liked the guy, I didn't want people hunting him down just to look after me. I'm fine on my own." Zoro says petulantly.

"I'm guessing that things aren't fine though." Franky says.

Zoro taps the edge of his coffee cup and thinks about how best to explain himself.

"I told him not to do something and he did it anyway. He followed me to my test the other day, he could have got hurt or killed or got me expelled or in big trouble. I told him no and he ignored it, like they all do and I know where that shit goes. So I broke up with him." Zoro says sharply and angrily.

Franky seems to consider this for a moment or two before speaking.

"That sounds really rough, I'm sorry." He says carefully.

A silence falls between them and Zoro continues glaring at his cup.

"I had every reason to break up with him, I was completely in the right. But I can't stop thinking about him and- it's so FRUSTRATING!" Zoro snarls angrily.

"Like your head and your heart are pulling you in two different directions." Franky concludes with a nod of his head.

"Yeah, well, my heart's a moron." Zoro grumbles bitterly and drinks his coffee. The chocolate powder still makes him think of Sanji. His stupid heart aches for him and for the millionth time he crushes the feeling down mercilessly.

"No it's not, you're just bad at listening to it. And your follow through is totally black and white when you do. You either love people or you don't care about them, you throw yourself into a dream or you're not interested at all. Grey isn't your strong suit Zoro. But relationships are messy and grey lots of the time." Franky says with an air of exasperation.

"So I should do what? Listen to my heart all the time and remove my brain? If I did that I'd still be giving my creepy ex from two relationships ago 'one more chance' every damn week as he tried to talk me into bed!" Zoro argues.

"There's that black and white again. No, Zoro I'm saying that you make a balanced decision and once again… ENGINEERING CAN FIX ALL PROBLEMS!" Franky declares loudly, springing to his feet and rushing to the other side of the room.

Zoro blinks a few times in bewilderment as Franky rummages through drawers for things.

"Didn't Robin say a while back that just because you _can_ fix your problems with magical engineering doesn't mean you should?" Zoro asks warily.

"Hey, I made an anti-noise machine that specifically filters out the sound of her neighbours dog barking before 9am or when she's watching tv. She's changing her mind on engineering, mark my words." Franky says, waving a small hammer in Zoro's direction.

Zoro isn't especially convinced but he continues to drink his drink while Franky works. He looks at his hand while Franky does his thing. The floating arrow above Zoro's palm jerks suddenly in a different direction and Zoro frowns at it. The damn thing has been broken since he and Sanji broke up and it doesn't take a massive leap of logic to guess that it's locking onto wherever Sanji is on Earth and pointing him that way.

A chunk of metal being dropped on the table before Zoro drags his attention back to the present. It's a heart made of gold, probably only the size of his thumbnail and Zoro can still see the slick sigils of the spell running over its surface. It's not complete yet.

"I need your blood." Franky says quickly and jabs Zoro in the tip of the finger with a needle to draw a bead of blood out. He then presses Zoro's finger against the metal and the spell clicks into place.

"You could have not used a body part that I'm going to be touching things with all day." Zoro grumbles and looks down at the heart.

"Quit complaining." Franky says and sits down again with a pleased grin on his face.

"This is your brilliant solution? This is a charm for pre-teen girls. Those stupid 'tell your heart's desire' charms that they sell for stupid slumber parties." He says irritably. He bled for this crap?

"Bah, a weak imitation of this. This thing will tell you in simple yes/no responses what your heart really feels. All subjective truth with pinpoint precision. With this you can discern how you really feel in your heart and then make an informed choice about whether to listen to one or the other or compromise. Go on, try it." Franky insists.

Zoro looks at him dubiously but Franky is clearly not to be swayed. Zoro picks the small gold heart up and lets it settle in the middle of his palm. If this thing gives true/false and yes/no answers then he's going to need to know what's what.

"Okay… let's test this. I love my sister." Zoro says clearly and calmly. It's a true a statement as any, even if he sometimes wants to wring her neck as well.

The gold heart in his palm glows an even brighter gold and feels warm to the touch. So now he needs a no, something a definitely doesn't feel. He could just reverse his previous statement of course but…

"I think all of Franky's inventions are dumb." Zoro says with a grin.

"Hey!" Franky protests. The heart in Zoro's hand glows white and feels as cold as ice, it looks like it's a literal game of hotter or colder.

"Just seeing if it knows how I really feel." he says smartly and Franky rolls his eyes.

Zoro returns his attention to the heart. Where should he start?

"Stalking me is the kind of thing my creepier ex boyfriends would do." Zoro states. The heart glows gold and warms in his hand.

"I can't trust people who do that." Zoro continues. Instead of staying warm though it goes cold, it thinks he lied or that he was wrong at least.

"Could be your wording. I mean, you have trusted someone who did that so clearly you CAN." Franky points out reasonably.

"Oh, good point. Okay… I don't trust people who stalk me." Zoro says.

The heart glows white and stays cold.

"Your stupid thing is broken Franky." Zoro says irritably.

"Is it? Do you still trust the guy? Do you believe that he'd really hurt you or do something really bad to you?" Franky asks him seriously.

Zoro looks away uneasily. He tries to think of Sanji attacking him but his mind immediately corrects him that Sanji couldn't do that, he physically can't do anything to Zoro's body that he doesn't consent to. He's not bound to follow Zoro's orders of course or else he never would have ignored Zoro's instruction to stay behind but that's different. What about not actively harming him but letting him come to harm? He tries to picture Sanji just watching as Zoro falls off of a cliff or gets hit by a car but it just feels false. Sanji spent ages trying to find a planet that would be safe for him.

He still trusts Sanji.

"I… still trust him." Zoro says quietly and the heart goes warm and glows happily.

Zoro drops the thing on the table and it stops glowing any colour at all.

"So my heart is a moron just like I said." Zoro says, feeling angry at himself for being so foolish.

"Grey areas Zoro, how about this? I ask you questions and you tell me what you think your answer is and we see how you really feel." Franky suggests and drops the gold heart into Zoro's palm again.

"You were happy dating this guy." Franky states.

"Yes, I was." Zoro agrees and the heart backs him up.

"You were worried that this relationship was going to blow up badly like your others have." Franky says thoughtfully.

"Well, yeah." he agrees, the heart continuing to match his answers. At least he's pretty honest so far.

"If a relationship is going to go bad you'd rather it happened sooner rather than later." The engineer continues.

Zoro thinks about his longest relationship and how much it hurt when everything finally ended with it. The longer he was with someone the more it hurt when it ended, or that was the general rule of thumb anyway.

"Yeah." Zoro answers.

"So when this guy did something bad that reminded you of the kind of stunts your ex boyfriends used to pull you cut it off to save yourself the pain." The blue haired man says calmly.

"What?! No!" Zoro denies hotly, only the heart in his hand suddenly goes ice cold. Franky just looks at him skeptically.

"He shouldn't have followed me!" Zoro insists and the heart warms back up to room temperature.

"He knew what he was doing." Zoro says firmly but the heart goes cold again. Did Sanji really know that it was wrong? The guy had stupid ideas about how romance and surprises went, he had given him a planet as a present for a date after all. He was a demon, they had different cultures and everyone made mistakes didn't they?

"I don't regret what I did." The heart goes colder still.

"There's no reason to miss him." It's unbearably cold to the touch.

"I don't want him back." Zoro says weakly. The pain of the metal is sharp and biting against Zoro's palm and when Franky takes his hand it becomes clear that it's frozen itself to the top few layers of Zoro's skin.

"I'm not saying you should always do what your heart says, sometimes your heart is dumb. But it's kind of smarter to know what it's saying before you decide. Hm… this isn't too hot, it'll do." Franky says as he picks up Zoro's nearly empty drink and gingerly pours the warm liquid on Zoro's palm, heating the heart and detaching it from his skin.

A red heart shaped burn sits in the middle of Zoro's palm accusingly.

"What do you think I should do?" Zoro asks unhappily.

"I think that you need to work out for yourself what you should do. But it can't hurt to call him, right? If you still think he's a jerk and it's just a bad break up then go back to not talking to him." Franky suggests as he picks up the small gold heart and cleans it off with the hem of his ugly hawaiian shirt.

"And you've got this, in case you need to know what you feel again." Franky adds, dropping it into Zoro's uninjured hand.

"I guess." Zoro says with a nod.

"And hey, boy problems or not you still have your friends. I know Luffy's planning on dragging everyone to the fair tomorrow night, nothing will snap you out of a funk better than seeing some sucker challenging Luffy to an eating contest." Franky says brightly.

Zoro puts the heart into his bag and considers Franky's words. He could go home and summon Sanji and see if he really did make a mistake, then even if it goes badly he'll still have a good time with his friends the next night to make him feel more normal. Doing nothing clearly isn't working, it's screwing with his studying and his training with Kuina.

"Yeah… I guess. I think I'm gonna go. Thanks for the heart and the coffee." Zoro says slowly, standing up and putting his bag on again

"Any time, and just remember that it's another problem solved by engineering!" Franky says brightly.

"Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean I'm changing my major to magical engineering. Thanks again for the coffee." Zoro says with a laugh and stands up and swings his bag over his shoulder. He leaves Franky's workshop with a wave and heads off campus. He was done with classes for the day anyway and the studying he was planning on doing can easily be done at home.

On his broomstick flight home he goes back and forth in his mind about whether or not to summon Sanji. Intellectually he doesn't feel like he did anything wrong. Sanji crossed a line and Zoro has no interest in seeing him become a terrible ex, it's best to cut that off before it truly starts. But his heart makes that decision feel unfair and cowardly. Sanji was new to this and he screwed up, and things had been going so damn well until then. Unnervingly well even.

He lets himself in through his window and sets his broom against the wall. Even if he didn't change his mind on being with Sanji didn't the other man deserve a chance to explain himself and at least get a proper goodbye? And Zoro's not totally sure he should be saying goodbye to him at all.

Damnit.

He doesn't like making mistakes but it's shameful to make one and refuse to admit it or refuse the possibility of even making one. Most religions used to list pride as a sin, those who follow them still do and it's one thing that Zoro thinks they have a point with.

He paces back and forth in his living room thinking about what to say to Sanji and coming up with no one right answer. Eventually he gives up and faces a clear space on his floor and utters Sanji's incantation. The syllables of his true name taste bittersweet on Zoro's tongue.

Fire bursts forth from the floor and when it recedes Sanji is standing in Zoro's home again. Except he's dressed in nothing but heart print boxers with messy hair, crooked glasses and a toothbrush in his mouth. Zoro just barely stifles the laugh at seeing him but when the sudden realisation of just where Sanji is occurs to the demon Zoro can't restrain himself any more.

"What the- shit!" Sanji splutters around his toothbrush and frantically summons some clothes onto himself and throws the toothbrush into the air where it vanishes in a burst of flame.

"Sorry, sorry I shouldn't laugh. But- oh that was great. You can spit that toothpaste in the kitchen sink if you want though." Zoro offers helpfully but Sanji shakes his head and swallows thickly.

"It's fine, it's not like I'm a stranger to swallowing." Sanji remarks, making Zoro snort in amusement.

Zoro's mirth wears off and he finds himself just standing there looking at Sanji, his now ex boyfriend who looks nervous and ill at ease. It's Sanji who speaks first.

"I thought I'd never get to see you again." Sanji says and his voice is quiet and wary. His pale hands are tense at his sides and he looks like he's restraining himself from doing something, though Zoro doesn't know what.

"Same." Zoro agrees quietly.

"I'm sorry!" Sanji blurts out. He looks heartbroken and desperate, leaving Zoro to feel like a total asshole.

"I'm sorry for following you, I just-" Sanji starts to explain, his tone rushed and urgent.

"No, you don't have to. Don't say anything." Zoro interrupts and Sanji shuts up but looks uneasy doing so. Zoro supposes that he doesn't know if this is good or bad.

Zoro looks at Sanji and opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Sanji deserves better than this, he should hear the truth that's in Zoro's heart because his head's already blown this before. But Sanji looks wary of him, of what he might say. Does the demon really think that Zoro just summoned him here to yell at him some more? What a shitty first boyfriend he's been to Sanji. Sanji who got trapped up here and thought only of being apart from his loved ones, who begged him for a second kiss for free, who gave him a goddamn planet.

But his head is pulling him in another direction. This can't work, he's lying to his friends and he likely will never be able to honestly introduce them. They're totally different species who are at war with each other and even if it works out Sanji will probably outlive him by a billion years, it's doomed to failure.

He can't say that to Sanji and he can't keep standing here frozen and muted because the words won't come to him. He's stuck.

But… maybe Franky is right. Engineering can solve his problems.

"Hold that thought, I just need to grab something." Zoro says and darts across the room to his bag. He pulls out the heart and closes his fist around it before returning to Sanji who is now just looking bewildered.

He should start with things that he knows are true and work from there.

"I'm sorry." He says simply and his hand warms around the golden heart. He really is sorry.

Sanji doesn't look especially reassured.

"I shouldn't have left you on that billboard or said the things I did. I could have handled that… better." He continues, his hand staying warm. He's being truthful.

"No, Zoro you don't need to apologise. I fucked up and-" Sanji starts to say but Zoro shakes his head.

"Oi, shut up. I'm bad enough at this already without you interrupting me. Just let me talk." Zoro snaps at him and though the blond does indeed shut up his tail lashes from side to side in irritation. Contrite or not he's still Sanji and apparently Sanji doesn't like being bossed about. Or at least he doesn't like being bossed about by someone who's not about to be eaten.

Zoro needs to make this good. The ice burn on his palm is proof enough that he doesn't want to lose this so he's got to go for it. He should take it like sparring with his sister, have an objective and push for it. He has to stay on point and not get sidetracked. If he confesses too much and falls flat on his face then so be it, at least he will have _tried_.

He ignores his head warning him that it'll all go wrong sooner or later and starts to talk again.

"I really like you and I liked being with you. I've honestly never had a relationship as good as this one." Zoro admits and his hand blooms with warmth from the heart inside it, recognising his truth. Sanji smiles, small and grateful with tiny fang points just becoming visible.

"Honestly I think it was freaking me out a little that it was going so well." Zoro adds. He's aware now that he's been thinking that way but who knows how long that fear has been growing from a small seed?

"Why? What did I do wrong?" Sanji blurts out in worry.

"Nothing, it's not you, it's me." Zoro answers and Sanji scowls.

"Did you seriously just say that?" Sanji asks, clearly unimpressed.

"That's… not how I meant it. What I meant is that all my past relationships have ended really badly, I'm used to it. And I know that I'm not exactly an easy person to date, I'm grumpy and obsessive about school and swords and I only like men romantically and I don't want to have sex with anyone. So all of my old relationships blew up in my face and this one hadn't!" Zoro blurts out, he can tell it's nonsensical and stupid but it's true.

"What? No, you're not some burden Zoro. I'll kick your ass for saying that!" Sanji snaps angrily at him.

"We both know you can't." Zoro points out.

"You'd be surprised with how creative us demons can be about getting around restrictions like that." Sanji retorts and Zoro grins. That's the Sanji he knows, underneath the inexperienced nervousness anyway. And speaking of which…

"I'm pissed about what you did, it was dangerous and dumb and I'd never forgive myself if you'd been caught." He says firmly.

"I'm really sorry." Sanji apologises meekly, his tail wilting and curling sadly around his legs.

"I know. But this isn't your world and I knew that, and this is your first relationship at all _and_ your first relationship with a human. I'd be an idiot to think that you wouldn't fuck up something." Zoro says calmly.

Sanji shifts from foot to foot and looks decidedly uncomfortable. He opens and shuts his mouth a few times before screwing his eyes shut and speaking again all in a rush.

"It wasn't totally an accident. I knew there was a risk, that's why I hid far away from everyone. I just wanted to see you do magic because I know how hard you study and I wanted to be part of that. And I'd hoped that maybe some of your friends might be there and I could maybe… run into them and get introduced." Sanji's voice gets smaller and smaller as he talks, like he doesn't want to say what he's saying but has to.

The blond sighs and rubs his hands over his face, going across the room a little to sit on the arm of the sofa.

"It wasn't some big plan I had or anything it was just… spur of the moment. But I was selfish and dumb. And the really ironic part of it is that you had told me no and that should have meant that I couldn't do it, consent is written into my biology." Sanji laughs flatly and humorlessly.

Zoro covers his face with a hand and groans. Sanji is still a _demon_ and it's not smart that he keeps forgetting all that it entails.

"So what was it? Your obligations to listen to me when I say no don't stretch that far or my wording was sloppy?" Zoro asks.

"Wording. You didn't actually say 'no' exactly. You said that our date was off and told me what might happen if I went and that you'd summon me later. The no was implied enough that I wouldn't have been able to push you to let me come with or at least it would have felt really bad for me to try but going somewhere that happens to be the same place on my own…" Sanji trails off.

This is why demonology is a required class, at least to the basic levels. You can't deal with demons without understanding the slippery logic that they use. They simply HAVE to obey rules that they're bound to, not doing so ranges from either physically impossible to fatal for them. But they are masters of squirming around their obligations. He shouldn't leave anything implied, everything has to be explicit. Clauses have to be iron tight and with no bad grammar or undefined slang.

If Zoro had been making a contract with a demon he would never have left it as loose as that. But he hadn't been, he was just talking to his boyfriend who happened to be a demon.

"I knew you meant no and I've been kicking myself for being an asshole about it. I just had this fantasy of how things might be, ever since I met your sister I wanted to get into your life more. Maybe it's creepy or maybe romance movies, books and magazines have melted my brain. I don't know." Sanji says miserably.

"You could have just said something." Zoro points out reasonably.

"Yes, thank you. That seems very obvious in hindsight, can you go back to the bit where it's not my fault 'cause you expected me to make mistakes please?" Sanji snaps angrily and Zoro laughs despite his best intentions to keep a straight face.

Zoro opens his hand a little and sees the glint of gold between his fingers. He's got to keep going, give an honest response to how he feels about that new information from Sanji. He knows that he wants to save this, maybe even needs to but he's not going to lie to do it.

"What is that?" Sanji asks suspiciously, leaning over and peering at him.

"It's… my friend Franky made it for me. My friends know me well enough to know that something was up since… since I left you. But because I didn't tell any of them about us they didn't know. So he tried to help. I told him some things but nothing that'd put you in danger." Zoro assures him.

"Okay, but what is it?" Sanji asks and peels Zoro's fingers back carefully.

Thin pale fingers with slightly pointed nails run over the golden heart and Zoro feels a shudder of excitement run down his spine. He supposes that it's not too strange to think that since the heart shaped chunk of gold has a connection to his heart that it wouldn't go both ways. So to have someone who already has a place inside his heart touching it when it's connected to him is something else entirely.

"Is that a _burn_?! Did this thing hurt you?" Sanji demands suddenly, having nudged the heart out of the way enough to see the burn from before.

"It gets cold if I say something that I know in my heart isn't true. Franky gave it to me because I was having trouble working out how I was feeling." Zoro admits as Sanji peers at the injury. It's only a couple of layers of skin deep, it stings a bit but it's fine. Yet Sanji is looking at it like it's serious harm. Zoro doesn't know if Sanji is just being protective or if humans really just seem fragile compared to demons, most of whom are cockroach like in their survivability.

"What did you even say to make it get cold enough to burn you?" Sanji asks, looking up at him from where he's sat on the arm of the sofa.

"I don't regret what I said." Zoro repeats and the heart goes cold against his palm and Sanji's fingers. The demon looks at it in alarm.

"I don't miss you." He adds and the heart goes colder still.

"If it burnt you the first time then don't keep saying that shit! How dumb are you?!" Sanji demands, snatching the cold heart from Zoro's hand.

"And… I don't want you back." Zoro finishes. Sanji frowns and looks at the heart in his own hand which is now frost free.

"It didn't go cold that time. Does that mean you really don't want me back?" Sanji asks hesitantly, looking from the heart to Zoro.

"No, it means that my friend Franky isn't an idiot that lets his devices have extreme thermal reactions when they're not being used. It's activated by my touch. I can take it back and say it again if you don't believe me." Zoro offers and Sanji holds the heart away from him like he thinks that Zoro's going to leap for it to get it back if he doesn't keep it safe.

"I think one dumb looking burn a day is enough for you." Sanji retorts.

A silence grows between them and Sanji is chewing on his bottom lip in either nervousness or uncertainty, Zoro isn't sure which.

"So what now?" Sanji asks quietly.

"Well, we could date again if you want." Zoro offers and feels for a moment like he's in freefall, waiting on Sanji's answer to see if he'll fall flat on his face or not.

"I'd really like that." Sanji says with a slow smile and Zoro's chest suddenly feels a little too tight.

He rubs the mark on the inside of his palm with a finger and looks at the pretty, wild haired blond before him. There's still a slight toothpaste stain at the corner of his mouth that he apparently hadn't caught earlier. It's ridiculously endearing and Zoro almost doesn't know what's happening to him. Still, if he gets to be with Sanji he's okay with it.

"Can I kiss you, you dumb idiot human?" Sanji asks, reaching out and tugging on Zoro's shirt until he leans down.

He kisses Sanji and it feels like it's been far too long indeed, from Sanji's eagerness he clearly feels the same.

"This would be easier if I had some other way of contacting you besides summoning you." Zoro says when they part. If Sanji feels like he's too far out of Zoro's life then it would be easier if Zoro could just text the guy, but it's not that simple.

"That would be better. Not that I don't like being embarrassed by showing up here in my underwear when brushing my teeth but a little warning would be good." Sanji agrees with a roll of his eyes.

"Well if I could have called your or texted you I would have but you were in hell and it doesn't work that way." Zoro says a little defensively.

"It… it does work that way! Oh god I'm such a moron. I keep forgetting how good human phones are now, you're finally up to the versions that we had ten years ago!" Sanji exclaims, smacking himself on the forehead.

The blond snaps his fingers and a phone drops into his hand. Zoro's never seen it before but he sure as shit recognises the distinctive apple logo on the back.

"Whoa, hey, let me see that." Zoro insists, reaching out but Sanji bats his hand away.

"No, no, no. We've got a deal with these companies and we're not allowed to share that tech with humans. But I know that I can make your phone compatible with mine. Most demons have phones that work topside and back home, especially demons like me who spend half our time up here. I just need to alter the card in your phone to make it work, so, gimme." Sanji insists, holding out his hand expectantly.

Zoro stands up and pulls his phone out of his pocket and gives it to Sanji. Through some elaborate fiddling and bitching about how 'out of date' Zoro's phone is he manages to get the sim card out and casts some kind of spell on it before putting it back in. He's really cagey about letting Zoro see any of it so Zoro does his best to not eye it up too much. Sanji checks the settings a few time between the two phones before he's happy, then enters Zoro's number into his own phone and calls him. To Zoro's surprise, his phone rings.

"And this works even if you're in hell?" Zoro asks in wonder, cancelling the call and trying to save Sanji's number into his phone.

"Better there actually, perfect signal everywhere and internet too. Earth is a nightmare in comparison. Obviously it won't work elsewhere though, so not on the moon or your planet." Sanji answers with a shrug.

"You guys would probably find getting people into hell easier if you advertised the perfect reception and free wifi. Hey- why is my network Vodafone now? And why is your number twenty five digits long? And it… goes all weird and glitchy if I look at it too long." Zoro says, squinting at the line of numbers which shifts and warps under his eyes. He's seen high level magical scrolls that do that but nothing digital.

"Yeah, maybe don't look at that too hard. Just give my contact a name and don't open the number part again." Sanji answers dismissively.

Zoro takes his advice and shifts his attention to the 'contact name' section. He can't write down Sanji's actual name, that'd be unadvisable and his phone doesn't have the characters for its true spelling anyway. He's not sure if he'd have the same problem if he anglicized his name but he's not willing to risk it. So he needs to come up with a new name for him, a nickname as it were… something perfect…

Zoro types 'curly brow' into the contact name and saves it.

"Fucking seriously?" Sanji grumbles and quickly types on his phone before holding it up to show Zoro his own phone number reading as 'shitty moss'. Sanji looks outrageously pleased with himself.

"Smartass." Zoro says and elbows Sanji onto the cushions of the sofa.

"Does this mean I'm going to have to pay vodaphone now? You never said why my network changed." Zoro asks again, looking at the changed line of text at the top of his screen.

"Oh, it's our network is all. It's free for us and now you. There's no downtime or anything, not when you're on our side." Sanji answers with an idle wave of his hand.

"That's not what I've heard about them before." Zoro says dubiously.

"Oh for humans it's just bait for gathering rage energy, a good number of demons need it to survive and we use it as power sometimes. Especially the 'customer support' lines." Sanji explains with a laugh.

"That's… evil." Zoro says, feeling somewhat impressed by the scheme.

"Demons." the incubus points out and flashes him a fanged smile. Zoro supposes that he shouldn't be surprised.

He looks down at his phone, examining it for any other infernal signatures and focusing on its energy as much as he's able to but it just seems like a normal phone to him. So that's that then, a simple solution for what seemed like a complex problem. He and Sanji can keep in touch even when they're not on dates and they'll communicate better.

Only that's not solved the whole problem. It's still good but it's not everything. He still hates lying to his friends and Sanji still wants to meet them.

"What's wrong?" Sanji asks uncertainly and Zoro looks to the side to see Sanji watching him with worry knotting his dumb eyebrows together.

"I don't like hiding from my friends, lying, not talking about you." Zoro answers honestly as he turns the phone over in his hands.

"But you don't want to introduce me." Sanji says.

"No, I do want to. You'd really like them I'm sure, and they'd really like you too…" Zoro says slowly.

"So what's the problem?" Sanji asks, clearly feeling offended.

"They'd like you plenty if you were human, or at least not a demon. But since you are and I like you better alive it's not something I can do." Zoro says a little sharply.

"Well… what if we do what we did with your sister? I pretend to be human, or human-ish and get to know them and then when they like me which they obviously will we tell them what I really am." Sanji suggests hopefully.

"Did you miss the bit where I don't like lying to my friends? Besides my friend Robin is half siren and her trances make people obedient and truthful, if she got curious about you she could make me tell her everything about you. Not to mention Brook is a litch and it's my understanding that the undead are pretty good at spotting demons." he points out and Sanji's face falls.

"Really really good." Sanji agrees unhappily.

Sanji sighs and falls back on the sofa and scowls at the ceiling. His tail is smacking angrily on the edge of the sofa and Zoro once again finds himself wondering just how aware of it Sanji is when he's not actively trying to make it do something specific.

"Didn't you people used to hunt down and kill litches?" Sanji asks.

"Five or ten years ago, yeah. But they're still people with thoughts and feelings, no matter what some idiots say. It's not even like Brook did that to his own body, not that it'd make how people treat him better if he did." Zoro says bitterly. Brook tends to let other people's dickishness roll off of him with a laugh and a joke but Zoro knows that it does sting him sometimes.

"Your friends can be friends with the undead who have a history of _eating_ humans but you don't think they'd accept me?" Sanji asks pointedly and Zoro opens and shuts his mouth a few times. That's a damn good point. Learning to like Sanji can't exactly be hard can it? He caught on to Sanji being a person real quick.

"I think… if they know about you as a person for a while, through me I mean. Then I can maybe introduce you to them one at a time. Brook might actually be a good first person for you to meet." Zoro says and watches as Sanji's face lights up with delight.

"You really mean it?" Sanji asks with wide eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I do." Zoro says with a nod. His heart feels warm at the idea and though he's pretty sure that this is the best plan he could make for introducing Sanji to his friends it's still really risky. He's torn between his head and his heart again but maybe for a change he can listen to his heart a little more.


	10. Chapter 10

**Robin is really intimidating to people**

 **And you should be scared of her**

 **Everyone should**

 _I'm not scared. I'm sure that she's a lovely delicate flower that you're slandering._

 **Believe that if you want, it's your funeral**

Sanji grins and is just composing his reply when his tail smacks into Zeff's leg as he trots past. Sanji looks up to see the old man glaring down at him.

"I'm happy that you're happy and not miserable again kid, but you're supposed to be helping and not getting your skinny butt in the way." Zeff says, sounding very unimpressed indeed.

"But he's only got ten minutes before his class and then I can't talk to him for hours." Sanji says reasonably, though Zeff is nowhere near as convinced and just gives Sanji that stern but disapproving look. He had been a lot more tolerant of this during the first week that he and Zoro got back together but now that it's been two more months it's worn off for the old man.

"I'm sure you'll both live, unless you keep texting of course." Zeff says and marches away.

 _My old man's being an asshole and making me work in the restaurant. I'll talk to you later?_

 **Sure. I should get to class.**

 **I think Usopp's gonna get failed. He never managed to spring that trap on me.**

 _Didn't you do that to him ages ago? And he had to get you back?_

 _Is this an actual assignment and not a prank war?_

 **I guess the teachers know students well. But yeah, he never got me back.**

 **It doesn't affect my grade but maybe i can help him next term if he repeats the test.**

 _Well aren't you sweet. Ok I gotta go otherwise my old man will kick my ass._

 **Later**

Sanji pointedly shoves his phone in his pocket and gets on with helping Zeff. He only has half an hour before he's on the clock himself but that's more than enough time to help the others plate some food and take it out to their guests.

When the time for his actual paid work rolls around he's still not heard a peep from Zoro but that's not surprising at all. He and Zoro agreed that he'd never use his phone in class, he doesn't want some highly powered witch taking it and realising just what they're holding. And Sanji has his phone off and in a little pocket dimension when he's working. Sure his marks are going to die immediately after fucking him but Sanji still has some professionalism and dignity in his work. If some poor bastard is selling their soul to bed him the least that he can do is not to be texting someone during it, that's just bad manners for anyone.

Sanji's on his knees blowing a guy when he feels a sudden jerk on the back of his head, he'd think that it was the crime lord if it wasn't for the fact that Sanji can clearly see the guy's hands clenched onto the arms of the chair that he's in.

Another jerk pulls at him again and this time it feels like it's his shoulders. Sanji closes his eyes and tries to concentrate, it can't be this guy he's got no magic. But it feels familiar nonetheless. A third time he feels a ghostly hand trail down Sanji's bare back, ignoring the straps of the dress he'd shimmied his fake form into. He knows that hand though, the size of the palm and the calloused finger tips. That's Zoro.

Zoro is trying to summon him and he's getting the supernatural equivalent of a dial tone because Sanji is working. Once Sanji would write off as Zoro forgetting when Sanji would be off work, but twice and three times is far more worrying. Zoro could be in danger and calling him for backup.

He needs to finish this and fast.

Thankfully as well as being already fabulously skilled he has more than a few tricks up his sleeves for getting people where they need to go speedily. Sanji takes a mouthful of the guy's life energy and… other bodily fluids before standing up and pulling his phone free.

 _I'm working, are you ok?_

 **Heeesslop**

Sanji frowns. That… was gibberish but it was gibberish with far too many letters in common with 'help' for his liking. He settles back into his own skin and drops back into hell.

 _Zoro, summon me again._

After a moment or two Sanji feels the pull of the spell but it's so weak that he has to boost it with his own magic to even be able to get in. He lands unsteadily in Zoro's apartment but can't see Zoro anywhere.

"Zoro?" Sanji calls out, worry building up inside him.

The front door is ajar and Zoro's bag is dropped just a few paces inside with its contents spilling out, including Zoro's sword. Zoro never treats his stuff like that, least of all his sword. Something is very wrong.

"Zoro?" Sanji calls out a little more warily. He can hear water running distantly from another room and something that sounds worryingly like choking. Sanji follows the noise into Zoro's bathroom and finds that the shower is running with Zoro in it. Only it's not as pleasing a sight as that deserves to be. Zoro is still clothed except for his shirt which is ripped apart on the floor. He's slumped against the shower wall breathing fast and unevenly, sounding like he's choking on air or shower water every so often. What Sanji notices most of all though is Zoro's arm.

Zoro's right arm from fingertips to shoulder joint is bright red and every so often, fire bursts out from the surface of his skin and remains unquenched by the torrent of water raining down on Zoro. Sanji knows that fire like he knows the back of his own hand, that's hellfire.

Sanji grabs Zoro's shirt from the floor and rushes into the shower with him, kneeling on the floor by his side. This close up he can see that Zoro is crying from the pain, it's not just water from the shower running down his face.

"Sanji." Zoro grunts out, though he's speaking Sanji's true name almost as if he's trying to summon him again.

"I'm here, I'm here Zoro. I'm going to fix this for you but you need to put this in your mouth first, I don't want you biting off your tongue." Sanji says and stuffs Zoro's shirt in his mouth. Zoro thankfully doesn't fight him and so Sanji is free to turn his attention to Zoro's arm.

Hellfire is particularly nasty shit. As a demon, he's thankfully immune to it but it's designed to torture mortals until they break and then keep doing it. Some demon must have found out about Sanji and Zoro being together and done this to him to punish both of them. It's all his fault and Zoro doesn't deserve this.

"This is really going to hurt, but I need to get this off of you." Sanji says soothingly and places his hand on Zoro's shoulder.

As he has established with Zoro before, undo spells are particularly tricky but this one is even more so. He essentially has to summon, at a molecular level, the antithesis of hellfire. Unfortunately, anything that gets caught in the crossfire is destroyed as well, like a good deal of Zoro's skin. It can only have been on his arm at most a few hours and he suspects less than that so it'll just be a few layers, like a very, VERY bad graze. On… his whole arm.

Sanji grew up in hell, tortured screams are basically background noise to him but it's amazing how different it is when it's Zoro making that noise. Sanji isn't sure if he's ever going to be able to forget that sound. He can't stop once he's started, though. If he doesn't get all of the hellfire off it'll spread and skin is, in fact, some defence against it, it's a thousand times worse in an open wound.

When he's done and Zoro's arm is dripping blood into the draining shower water Sanji reaches over and pulls his makeshift gag out of Zoro's mouth.

"I'm so sorry Zoro, I'm so sorry." Sanji apologises desperately, pressing his forehead to Zoro's.

"No, it's… it really fucking hurts but not as… not as bad." Zoro pants weakly.

"Tell me what happened, tell me who did this to you." Sanji urges as he strokes the side of Zoro's face in an attempt to make him feel in any way better. Zoro looks up at him blearily for a few moments before he starts to talk.

"It was an accident. Didn't feel so bad right away but it got worse, so I came home. Thought I could sleep it off." Zoro says weakly.

"Hellfire gets worse with each half hour it's on you, twice as bad each time. You can't have a nap and make it go away." Sanji says and Zoro's mouth twitches into something that could be called a smile.

"I noticed." He croaks and tries to smack the controls for the shower with his good hand but misses. Sanji helps him out and it suddenly stops feeling like it's raining indoors.

"What actually happened, though? How did you get hellfire on you?" Sanji asks again and Zoro grimaces.

"Like I said, it was an accident. None of us knew what it was." Zoro says firmly.

"It's not fine, you get hellfire from hell. The clue is in the name. If some demon knows about us and is putting hellfire in your way then I need to know about it." He says reasonably but Zoro just shakes his head.

"Dumbass, don't-" Sanji pauses as the sound of a door opening catches his attention. He's already jumpy from Zoro being so hurt but the sound of someone coming into Zoro's home is lighting up all of the protective instincts that he barely uses.

"Zoro?" A voice calls out from the main room and Sanji hisses, pushing himself out of the shower and onto his feet.

"Are you here? I was coming to check on you but… I'm really sorry okay?" The voice says, it's a young male voice but it's not anyone that Sanji knows. Clearly, someone that knows Zoro though. A witness to what happened to Zoro? He'd really love to question them if so, see if he can get more sense out of them than the bleeding green haired witch. He knows that he can't be seen by random humans that show up at Zoro's place, though. But he can't leave Zoro either…

"I didn't mean for it to hurt you that badly, I was just trying to make something that'd work on you and get you back for how you got me." The voice says.

This… this person hurt Zoro. He was the one who put hellfire on him.

Sanji throws open the bathroom door and stares at the newcomer, he doesn't have to worry about witnesses if they're dead. The startled boy is probably Zoro's age, dark skin, black hair and at first glance, he appears human. Until Sanji sees his eyes.

Sanji has seen all kinds of human eyes over the years and even the rare ones become commonplace over enough time. To say that this person who's just walked through Zoro's front door has unusual eyes is somewhat underselling it. It would be more accurate to see those eyes on the cover of a magazine, provided the magazine was national geographic and it was a special edition about SEALS. Half-selkie is more than enough supernatural for Sanji to be a lot looser with just how much maiming he's allowed to do.

"AAAAAAA! DEMON!" The boy yells and reaches for his wand in one of the many pockets in his dungarees but Sanji is faster. There's a reason they teach classes about demons because in less than a second Sanji has pocketed the guy's wand and slipped into a petite pale ash blond lady form that has the idiot's eyes turning heart shaped with desire.

"Was it you who got that terrible stuff on Zoro's arm?" He asks in a saccharine voice.

"Yeah, it was… just a joke, though. His face was kinda… funny." The boy says sluggishly as Sanji really over revs the glamour. When he's not dealing with a pure human like Zoro he's got so much leeway with the shit he can pull.

"Funny?" Sanji repeats, trying not let his anger slip through just yet.

"Yeah, cause… I'm so brilliant see. I made it myself!" He boasts and leans in to kiss Sanji. That is far too easy, he'd be signing his own contract with Sanji and he could take his soul all for himself. But that is too quick and too easy. He catches the boy by the cheeks, his lips still puckered comically.

"Are you a fan of horror movies, baby? Have you ever seen those Saw films?" He asks sweetly. The stupid half-selkie nods.

"Well, that will be a dream compared to what I'm gonna do to you." Sanji hisses and he watches the fear bubble under the sheen of lust on the surface. He should be afraid, very afraid.

"You're not gonna do anything to him." Zoro says and his hand lands on Sanji's shoulder, startling Sanji out of his glamour and back into his normal body. Evidently his mojo with the asshole selkie is broken too because he starts screaming.

"Can it, asshole. I've silenced this place. I could blow up a bomb in here and even his shitty neighbours wouldn't know. The place is locked up, you can't get out and no one can hear you so drop it!" Sanji spits at the boy. This isn't ameteur hour, securing and isolating a mark was incubi and succubi 101. They can't just have people walking in on them when they work, so it was just habit to set off the same spells when he made his move.

"Real reassuring, try not to do that. Usopp, it's fine. He's not going to hurt you." Zoro says calmly. Exceedingly calmly for a man dripping blood on the floor.

"Don't make promise that I won't keep." Sanji growls and glares at this Usopp person. He actually knows of an Usopp, Zoro's selkie friend. But Zoro never mentioned that the guy was trying to kill him.

Zoro turns and stares Sanji down intimidatingly.

"He's my friend and no one hurts my friends, if you want to try you have to go through me first and I know you won't. So yeah, you won't hurt him. You're not allowed and I know you respect it when I say no. So, no." Zoro says pointedly and Sanji can almost physically feel the restraints those words put on him.

"You don't understand, he confessed to exposing you to hellfire. On purpose! Because he thought it was funny!" Sanji snarls. Zoro's been duped!

Zoro shakes his head and then wobbles unsteadily on the spot. Sanji manages to gently lower him to sitting on the floor before he falls down and hurts himself.

"I said it was an accident. We didn't know it'd be that bad. He thought it was just gonna burn like chilli powder or something, he makes his own potions for everything." Zoro says in a breathy voice, he looks really lightheaded. It's no surprise that he is. Honestly Sanji is surprised that Zoro is still conscious and relatively normal, he really is tough for a human.

"I'm so sorry." Usopp whimpers.

"I'll go get some bandages for you, do you have some in the bathroom?" Sanji asks gently and Zoro nods.

Sanji isn't even out of the room before Usopp starts whispering to Zoro in a panic.

"We need to get out of here Zoro, I don't know if you're too hurt to see it or not but he's a demon!" Usopp says urgently and quietly, Sanji has pretty good hearing though.

He looks for bandages and tries to calm down. Zoro is okay, that's the main thing. Zoro called him and he showed up and he's fine and not dead or tortured out of his mind.

"I know he is. I called him here, he's my boyfriend. The one I… vaguely mentioned." Zoro mutters.

"BOYFRIEND?!" Usopp screeches and Sanji winces. This isn't the introduction that he wanted with Zoro's friends. He crouches down and locates a white plastic box with a red cross on it, that's probably the one.

"Yes, stop shouting." Zoro sighs.

"It's ok, no one can hear us because your BOYFRIEND trapped us in a silent murder box!" Usopp shouts.

"He thinks that you did this to me on purpose, which you technically did. You just didn't think it'd be this bad, I don't blame you and when he calms down he probably won't either." Zoro reassures Usopp. Sanji frowns, he's not so sure about that, demons are great at holding grudges and maiming a loved one is definitely grounds for a grudge.

He stares blankly into the box of bandages as he realises that he just thought of Zoro as a loved one. Does he… love Zoro? Oh fuck, that is big. That is huge- oh… what is he supposed to do?!

"He's probably got you under some kind of mind control." Usopp's whispered voice floats into Sanji's awareness like a slap to the face. The idea of him manipulating Zoro like that physically hurts him.

"You wouldn't think that if you'd met him under better circumstances. And don't touch my arm, that's gross." Zoro grumbles.

"He was going to torture and murder me! You can't like someone who was going to torture and murder me!" Usopp protests.

"Really? What do you think Robin would do if someone attacked and tortured Franky? Or any of our group for that matter?" Zoro asks flatly.

"It would- that's different. I mean it'd go horribly for whoever did that but that's different!" The selkie insists.

"It's not. Sa- he doesn't know you, he doesn't know what you're like. All he knows is that you did this to me and he's pissed. You don't know what he's like and he doesn't know you, so you both have to trust me that you're both good people." Zoro insists.

Sanji grips the medical box tightly. He's not sure that he deserves this kind of defence from Zoro. The two of them have touched on the ethics of what Sanji does over the course of their relationship but they've never delved too deep into it. In all honesty, Sanji is scared that if Zoro has to think too hard about what Sanji does… what he really is… then it'll be the end of them. He can't deal with that.

This is a conversation to interrupt.

He walks back into the main room and sees Zoro still slumped on the floor with a puddle of blood pooling around his hand on the floor.

"I'm not really great with healing magic but I can at least clean that and bandage it, numb the pain too if you want." Sanji offers, kneeling down between Zoro's sprawled legs.

"Don't… don't touch him." Usopp says, his voice trembling.

"You're going to have to do more than just ask to stop me." Sanji replies flatly and Zoro holds his arm out to him.

Sanji isn't great at healing spells but he does know one, they use it in the kitchen if the staff get injured and he's needed to use it on himself after that one time when Sadi's lesson on hardcore whip usage went overboard. It hurts like a bitch but it stops infections.

"Ah… this might hurt. Well, it will hurt but not as bad as getting the hellfire off. I don't know how much more pain you can take and most humans can't even deal with what you've done so far. I can make it not hurt, though." Sanji says a little uncomfortably.

"Sure, let's go for not hurting." Zoro says with a sigh, leaning his head back on the nearby wall. Sanji pauses and considers precisely what his spell does and decides that he perhaps should clarify it for the other man.

"I don't mean that I can make it just not hurt I mean I can invert your pain responses. Which I'm fine with, but I don't want to force that on you. Plus given that you have… company it could be awkward." Sanji says and from the way Zoro's eyes widen and he awkwardly looks away Sanji thinks that Zoro gets his meaning.

"I'll stick with the pain, I can handle it." Zoro says.

"Well, or I could numb you but that will likely just put you to sleep." Sanji offers and Zoro shakes his head again.

"Not leaving you two alone with each other." Zoro says, probably wisely.

Sanji raises his hands and calls the spell into his mind, muttering it until bright blue light appears between his hands. He pulls it apart, stretching it like a bubble and then slowly starts to run it up Zoro's arm.

Zoro for his part does not flinch, does not cry out or beg Sanji to stop. He bears the pain with no more than gritted teeth and a hissed exhale of breath. The pain is written obviously across his features though and it breaks Sanji's heart to see it.

Sanji feels a tug at his pocket and Usopp rushes past, levelling his recaptured wand at Sanji's face.

"Don't think I don't know how to fight a demon so… so you stop that. Right now. I don't know what spell you have my friend under but it stops n-now." The selkie stammers. Sanji can't stop now, the spell can't be interrupted and clearly this selkie bastard has worked that out. He can't cast any other spells against Usopp as he's doing this so he's stuck.

A green arrow flickers above Zoro's injured palm for a moment and Zoro nods weakly. The witch raises his good hand at Usopp and mutters a spell. Sanji realises that it's Zoro's fucked up freeze spell, the one they talked about ages ago. Except Zoro is structuring it wrong. Instead of stopping Usopp from moving his wand relative to everything else he has just stopped the wand moving, period. It is perfectly stationary on a fast spinning planet that orbits a star which itself is speeding through the universe as it expands. Yet the only thing within that universe which remains unmoved is Usopp's wand. That is a spell so powerful and obscure that Sanji isn't even sure it's a real spell that anyone else has ever invented. Zoro somehow got lost on the way to an easy spell and invented something utterly bizarre. The result of this ridiculous spell is that everything else moves and Usopp's wand does not, or as it appears from their perspective; Usopp's wand violently rockets into the wall and explodes into roughly a thousand pieces as it does so. It's a good thing Zoro checked what direction was what or else someone could have got stabbed with that thing.

"My wand!" Usopp wails.

"I'll buy you a new one. Leave him alone." Zoro groans, his eyes screwing shut and his breathing going shallow. Wandless casting is harder for humans and he's already tired and injured and currently in pain.

Sanji finishes the spell and quickly but silently bandages Zoro, ignoring Usopp trying to throw things at him. Unlike Zoro, Sanji is able to catch things in the air when they're being thrown at him without screwing with the motion of the universe. When he ties off the last bandage in silence Zoro is barely conscious but he's alive.

Sanji closes the lid of the medical box and stands up, looking straight at Usopp and making him squeak and flinch away.

"We have a problem you and me." Sanji says slowly.

"You hurt someone that I care about very much, and normally I'd drag you to hell for that. But Zoro would be very upset if I did that so I'm somewhat limited here." Sanji admits with a sigh.

"You're not strong enough to hurt me and thanks to Zoro's… weird spell you're unarmed too." He continues.

"However, if I let you go you're no doubt going to tell the rest of your friends and make it impossible for me to see my boyfriend or even try to kill me and I can't let that happen. So you see my dilemma." Sanji concludes.

"I… I won't tell anyone. Just don't hurt Zoro and let me go." Usopp insists instantly.

"Now, see. I've heard a lot of humans about to die and you people will say anything to get out of it, the things I've had people promise me. But here's the thing, you humans lie and from what I've heard from Zoro you're a prolific liar anyway." Sanji says with a laugh and Usopp cringes. He's definitely right there.

"I'll let you go, but not until I'm certain that you won't tell a soul about me." Sanji says.

"I already told you I won't tell anyone." Usopp insists, casting a glance at the unmoving Zoro.

"I'm talking more specific and binding than a promise. I'm talking a deal." He tells the selkie and smiles wide, showing more teeth than he should. He can feel the whites of his eyes going ink black and his horns growing longer and wickedly curved. He holds a clawed hand up and a stretch of parchment appears which fills itself with words as he starts to speak.

"You will agree to not discuss me or this contract through any medium of communication, be it verbal, through gestures, writing, recorded messages of any kind, or even interpretive dance with anyone who does not already know of my existence and relationship with Zoro. You will also not communicate in any of the previously listed ways with anyone who knows of my existence and relationship with Zoro where anyone who does not could possibly perceive that communication. Attempts to do so will be nullified, including but not limited to becoming temporarily mute when attempting to talk in a way that violates this agreement, writing becoming unreadable when violating this agreement and so on. This spell is binding for as long as I hold you in it and attempts to break this spell will be informed to me. If you agree to these conditions then all you have to do is shake my hand." Sanji says, rattling off the agreement in one long go. The temptation to include painful punishments was high but it would be an obvious move for Usopp to try to void the contract with others around and then it would be all too easy for them to find out the details of it and jeopardise his relationship with Zoro. This is not the time for grand gestures and revenge.

"Wh- I'm not making a deal with a demon!" Usopp balks, jerking away from Sanji as if just being near that contract was dangerous to his health.

"But was this not already what you were agreeing to? What you were promising me?" Sanji asks slyly, his now longer spade-tipped tail swishing back and forth.

"I don't…" Usopp says, shaking his head and backing away.

"Yeah, somehow I knew you were lying. So your choice is this. Agree to my bargain or I change back into that pretty little form I had before and end your life and send you to hell. Your call." Sanji offers sweetly.

Usopp is sweating as he looks from Sanji to Zoro and back again. The poor idiot is clearly weighing up his chances which are frankly zero right now. He could try to get Zoro to be awake again but he seems to believe that Zoro is under some kind of mind control so he'd be no help at all. Usopp's chance to fight him is also really damn low, his wand is sawdust and it's not as if Sanji is especially vulnerable to men who can turn into seals.

Usopp seems to wilt somewhat and finally holds his hand out to Sanji.

"He's my friend, I'll step up to protect him when he can't protect himself. He'd… he'd do the same for me." Usopp says weakly.

Sanji smiles and shakes Usopp's hand. The contract in his own hand dissipates into the blue light of Sanji's magic and snaps around the selkie's throat before spreading to the rest of his body and then vanishing. Usopp is bound by his agreement now. Sanji sighs and settles back into his more normal form, his eyes a human white and blue, horns to their more diminutive incubus size and his fingernails more neatly clipped instead of talon like. He sighs happily and with a wave of his hand he releases the spell around Zoro's place.

"You're free to go now. Now I'm going to keep looking after Zoro and you're going to beat it." Sanji says flatly and shoves the selkie towards the door and then out of it. He does not feel at all bad slamming it shut behind the bastard, or that would be the case except for the fact that the noise jars Zoro back into painful alertness.

Sanji flits to Zoro's side and winces at how pained and tired the man looks.

"Ugh… I need to sleep this off." Zoro groans as if what he has is a hangover and not a major injury.

"Come on, I'll get you in bed." Sanji says, leaning down and pulling Zoro to his feet and ducking under his good arm to support him. Zoro chuckles in a slightly delirious way and Sanji wonders if he'd tickled him or something.

"Bet you say that to all the guys." Zoro laughs.

"Har, har." Sanji replies devoid of any humour.

"Wait, where's Usopp?" Zoro asks, blearily looking around.

"I sent him home. He's fine, before you ask. He won't tell anyone about us either if you're worried." Sanji says and pushes Zoro's bedroom door open with his foot.

"Wasn't worried." Zoro mumbles and Sanji isn't sure if he means that he didn't think Usopp would tell or if he didn't think Sanji would actually hurt the guy. He's naive in both cases.

Sanji gently lowers Zoro onto the bed, being careful to not let Zoro put any weight on his bandaged arm. He's trying really hard not to think about what would have happened if Zoro hadn't summoned him.

"I should stay to keep an eye on you, unless you want to call your sister or one of your friends around and I'll go before they get here. You just shouldn't be alone." Sanji says quietly, looking down at Zoro spread out on the bed.

Instead of actually answering Zoro squirms sideways a little on his bed and then reaches out with his good hand and pulls Sanji down onto the bed with him.

"Stay then." Zoro mumbles into Sanji's hair. Sanji's whole body is held taut as Zoro curls his good arm around Sanji's back.

This is… he's in bed with Zoro. He's in bed with Zoro and he doesn't want to have sex with him. Well, he does but he's an incubus, there's a baseline level of wanting to have sex with everyone besides Zeff. That in itself is a gross thing to even have to think. The important point though is that he's in bed with Zoro, invited in no less, and he's just… close to him. He's there to make sure that Zoro is going to be okay and he's doing that with just who he is as a person and not what he is.

He melts against Zoro and presses his face against Zoro's chest. He's going to try not to sleep and instead watch Zoro's breathing and keep an eye on his arm. He has a lot to think about anyway. He needs to think about whether his reaction of considering Zoro a loved one means that he, by definition, loves him. And if he does what does that mean for their relationship? If he does feel that way is it then weird for it to be this soon? What's he supposed to do? He's also got to worry about if he did the right thing with Usopp. Killing him would have almost certainly destroyed his relationship with Zoro and broken the man's heart so that wasn't really ever an option, he could hardly have kidnapped the selkie either because Zoro wouldn't have let him. Does this mean that he can still be introduced to the rest of Zoro's friends and then he'll release the selkie from the agreement or is all of that off of the table?

His mind is spinning over all of those questions and more when Zoro's voice makes him jump.

"Did I see you right earlier? Your eyes were black and you were all…" Zoro makes a vague claw motion with his good hand.

"I thought you were asleep." Sanji says quietly.

"Was. Woke up. Is that what you really look like?" Zoro asks, peering down at Sanji who rolls onto his front so that he can look Zoro in the face a little better.

"It wasn't glamour if that's what you mean, that isn't how I look when I first wake up or anything. It's my more demonic form, or the start of it anyway. Doing full on deal making outside of sex tends to bring it out. Plus I was trying to scare him so… it seemed like a good idea." Sanji answers with a small shrug.

"Can I see?" Zoro asks sleepily.

Sanji kind of wants to say no. He's worried enough about not looking good enough for Zoro and it's not as if humans find normal demon form attractive. Incubi and succubi were made to look different specifically to appeal to humans, so why would Zoro even want to see his other form?

Because he's Zoro.

"I have a hard time saying no to you, you know that right?" Sanji grumbles.

"Oh, good." the irritating human chuckles and Sanji takes pleasure in smacking him in the leg with his tail.

"Shut your eyes and I'll do it." Sanji tells him and Zoro does so.

Sanji lets his form change again, his eyes darkening, tail and horns growing, fingernails becoming clawlike, he even lets parts of his skin start to darken and become somewhat chitinous. He spares Zoro the fire that comes with his full demonic form, he doesn't want to set Zoro's bed on fire or hurt the man more.

"You can open your eyes now." He tells him and Zoro does so. His eyes widen immediately and he leans up a little to get a better look at the rest of Sanji. He seems especially fascinated by Sanji's hands and claws and spends a good deal of time touching them with his good hand and looking at them closely.

"You're kind of… majestic. I should probably be terrified but I'm not. Like ah… a tornado, or a thunderstorm, or a tsunami." Zoro says thoughtfully.

"Did you just compare my appearance to an act of god?" Sanji asks in slow, stunned shock.

"Yeah, I guess. It's cool. Thanks for showing me, I'm glad I didn't just hallucinate it." Zoro says and lets his head fall back.

Sanji is exceedingly glad that Zoro can't see how red his face is right now because that was some compliment. He falls back into his normal form and shoves his burning face against Zoro's chest.

"Just… shut up and go to sleep." Sanji mumbles against Zoro's chest.

Sanji has a lot to think about but at least Zoro is okay and he's bought them some time. It'll be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

Zoro's day starts strangely with having to untangle the tail of a sleeping demon from around his thigh. From there it continues to get stranger with antiseptic, bandages and breakfast. In that order.

"What would you normally be eating for breakfast? You know, in hell." Zoro asks, ignoring the way that Sanji keeps looking at his burnt arm and scowling.

"Uh…" Sanji says, snapping to attention. "It varies, I live above a restaurant, so I'm spoilt for choice."

"Okay but, is there anything that you can't eat?" Zoro asks as he shoves bread in the toaster.

"Not really, I could eat the plate you serve me food on and it wouldn't do me any harm. So unless you make my coffee with holy water, I'll be fine." Sanji says easily as he leans against the kitchen counter.

"Hey Zoro, do you know how to make holy water?" Sanji asks with a smile.

Zoro frowns and tries to recall.

"I didn't elect for the levels of catholic study that'd grant me the clearance to make it but I know roughly. Besides every religion has its equivalent, my parents were Buddhists and I looked up something similar years ago but I can't remember it now. Shit, what was it?" Zoro groans in frustration, he knows that it's going to bug him all day and he's going to have to look it up in school.

"Zoro, you're ruining my joke. You make holy water by boiling the hell out of it." Sanji says flatly.

The toaster pops and Zoro's eye twitches.

"The only reason I'm not throwing this toast in your face for that awful joke is that it'd be a shame to waste food." Zoro says firmly and stabs his knife into the butter as Sanji tries and fails not to snigger too obviously at his own joke.

When Sanji has gone back to hell and Zoro has gone to school his day starts to go a bit more normally. He has magical history class and a debate on the manticore war. He predictably bumps into Robin outside of class, the history part of his school is her home territory after all.

"Goodness me Zoro, did you have a reaction to Usopp's little prank test?" Robin asks suddenly, making Zoro jump at her voice.

"You could say that." He sighs, looking down at his still-bandaged arm. He's got skin on it now, but it's skill all sore and raw, and he doesn't want to let other things touch it if he can help it.

"What happened?" Robin asks.

"Turned out he made something way stronger than he meant to, it got worse the longer I left it." he tells her. Robin's eyes widen in alarm.

"But you're okay now, yes? Did Chopper fix it for you?" She says with a worried pinch to her brow.

Zoro hesitates, on the edge of speech and thinks. With Usopp having met Sanji under far worse circumstances than he had wanted he's going to have to speed up the process of introducing them all. He had caught parts of Sanji's deal with Usopp, but it's somewhat fuzzy. All he knows is that no deal is foolproof and Usopp can be a damn good fool when he wants. He will worm some way around it, or something else will go wrong. So he needs to start talking about Sanji more, start letting people know how serious they are so he can introduce them. So it starts now.

"Chopper tried but no, my… my boyfriend was the one who fixed me up." He says with a nod.

Robin's smile becomes a little catlike, and her eyes are shining with curiosity.

"I had heard tell that you were seeing someone again. Anyone that I know?" She asks silkily, tucking a feather behind her ear.

"No one you know. But I- he's… nice. I should introduce you all sometime. He's already met Kuina, though it was an accident. She likes him, only somewhat threatened him with grievous bodily harm." Zoro snorts.

"Oh-hoh, must be serious if you're introducing him to family and us. I'm sure that won't be a problem at all. How about this weekend at the slaughtered lamb? It'd be a nice place to show him." Robin suggests.

"It might take a little longer than that." Zoro says uneasily, glancing around. Most of the students have dispersed for their next classes, but there are a few distantly around.

"He's not full human, and he's worried about people taking it badly." Zoro answers. Not technically a lie.

"Zoro, you know us better than that. Besides you and your sister are the only pure humans that I know. Most people are half or less of one thing or another or like Luffy who is such a mix that no one can get a read on just what he is." Robin says with a frown.

"He's less human than you, and noticeably so. And he's not like Chopper or Usopp where he's something that people regard favourably." Zoro tells her.

"Oh, more than half. Well, I can't relate to that part, but I can relate to being a species that people don't like, as can Brook and Nami I'm sure." She says with a frown.

She's right too. When Robin was Zoro's age and studying at this school, it was less accepting than it is now. She's half siren, and people used to try to pull her feathers out or filled her locker with water balloons. Robin's never drowned anyone in her life and sure if she sings or hums she does entrance people enough to make them do what she wants, but she rarely uses that power and never cruelly. As for Brook, it wasn't so long ago that people used to hunt down lich like him and even now people treat him badly or fear him. And Nami, well… the fact that people still use 'harpy' as an insult should say all that needs to be said.

"He's just not dated many people before, and he's big on the whole milestones thing, meeting all of you is a big thing for him. He's just scared is all, but I'll work on it." Zoro promises. He neglects to mention that Sanji is scared because of the likelihood of Zoro's friends trying to kill him.

Zoro's phone buzzes in his pocket and out of habit he looks at it. It's a message from Usopp.

"Is he trying to apologise?" Robin asks, peering over at his phone. Zoro lifts it up so she can't see it and opens the message.

'Zoro come to room 101 we need to talk about my pathetic shortcomings as a man and my tiny dick.'

Zoro squints at it. That… that has to be his deal with Sanji warping what he wrote, right?

"I think so? I'll see you later Robin." Zoro says and waves goodbye.

"I'll think of somewhere quiet to meet him. Bye Zoro, I hope your arm feels better and doesn't fall off!" Robin says cheerfully and leaves, sending a shudder up Zoro's spine. He wishes she wouldn't say things like that.

His phone pings again, it's Usopp.

'I SAID my hideous face!'

Zoro bites his lip to stop laughing and heads to the right room. He's not too sure of where it is so he's following the arrow on his good hand. On the way there he gets two more equally ridiculous and self-insulting texts from Usopp.

When he enters room 101, he sees Usopp standing in the middle and as the door clicks shut he is suddenly unable to hear the noise outside. For a moment he wonders if his ears have popped and he's gone deaf. He turns to look at the door and sees a silencing sigil there, one which was completed when the door closed.

"Clever… and without a wand too." Zoro muses as he looks at it.

"Yeah, well I have you to thank for that." Usopp grumbles.

"Sorry, but I couldn't let you hurt him." Zoro says quietly, and Usopp scowls.

"So you can talk about him then, whatever he's done to you doesn't extend to your silence on him." Usopp says thoughtfully.

"Done to me?" Zoro asks, raising an eyebrow.

"You know he's a demon, right? An incubus." Usopp says slowly.

"Of course I know that. Look, that wasn't how I wanted you to meet. He just gets… protective I guess. You nearly killed me, and I guess it didn't put him in the most sociable mood." Zoro says regretfully.

"I'm sorry about your arm, you know I never meant to hurt you." Usopp apologises, his eyes grazing over Zoro's still bandaged limb.

"I know that. It was an accident, it's fine." he tells the other man who looks genuinely guilty.

"He tried to kill me, Zoro; he" Usopp says softly, and Zoro winces. His knee-jerk instinct is to insist that Sanji hadn't done that, couldn't have. But he remembers pulling Sanji away from Usopp, a Sanji who had looked disturbingly like Kaya. Of course, Sanji was an incubus and as far as he knows he doesn't try to seduce people for any other reason than to take their souls.

"And you tried to attack him to defend me. Neither of you were at your best. I know it doesn't seem like it Usopp, but he's a good person. I'm sure if you'd met under better circumstances you'd like him." Zoro insists.

Usopp shakes his head and presses his palms to his forehead. He breathes in deep for a few seconds and then exhales long and slow. He takes his hands down and looks at Zoro calmly.

"Tell me what you think you know about him. I need to work out what he's done to your head and seeing where the blank spots are will help." Usopp says.

"He hasn't done anything to my head." Zoro protests.

"That's what someone who had got their brain fucked with would say." Usopp reasons and though he's wrong, Zoro can't fault his logic.

"He's an incubus. I know his name, but I'm not telling it to you. I know that he'd never eaten chocolate before he met me and loved it, I know that he likes sports movies where the underdogs win in the end, and he's obsessed with fashion and cooking shows. He's got a stupid sense of humour, and he was excited to meet all of you. I know him Usopp, he's not changed how I think through magic." Zoro insists but Usopp is clearly not convinced.

"I know you think that you're right about all of that, but you wouldn't know if he'd messed with your mind. If he'd changed your memories or how you view him." Usopp tells him.

Zoro runs his hands over his face with a groan and tries to think of how to get out of this circular conversation.

"Why would he do that? I don't even think he could; incubi aren't able to override what I think. Especially not as I'm entirely human. He can't take my soul because I'm not attracted to him like that, his seduction stuff just doesn't work. What possible reason would he have for keeping me alive and dating me if he had sinister intentions?" Zoro asks. If Usopp is the one who has to answer then maybe he'll think more rationally.

"I don't know, maybe he wants to study you so he can work out how to be even more deadly!" the other man insists sharply.

"That doesn't make any sense." Zoro points out, and Usopp paces back and forth for a little while.

"His motives don't matter." Usopp says with a shake of his head.

"They seemed to matter a lot when you thought you could prove how evil he was with them." Zoro says, perhaps in a somewhat petty manner.

"What matters is that he's evil, Zoro. You do know that, right?" Usopp asks him.

"He's not evil." Zoro insists.

"HE KILLS PEOPLE!" Usopp shouts in exasperation. Zoro winces. Yes, there is that...

"That doesn't make him evil he's just... complicated. It's just what he's made to do; he can't help it." Zoro says earnestly.

Usopp's eye twitches and his mouth is hanging open. Zoro gets the creeping sense that this is not going well. He expected Usopp to be unhappy with this whole thing, but he had hoped that would be able to talk him around soon enough. Apparently not. Perhaps a metaphor might help.

"It's like... sharks aren't evil, they're part of the ecosystem. Incubi were made to hunt us, if they don't do it they die. I'm sure that if cows had the brains, they would think we were evil too." He says.

Usopp stares at him for a few seconds of shock.

"Are you CRAZY?! I think you just managed to offend both demons and all flavours of humanity! He's not a mindless animal, Zoro. He's a serial killer. Do you even know how many people he's killed?" Usopp presses him.

Zoro shifts uneasily under his friend's stare. He's been doing a lot of mental gymnastics to not think about just that. He could probably work it out, though, he knows roughly how much time Sanji spends working each week. He could work out how long each seduction and subsequent... acts would take. He could divide the number of hours Sanji works by that amount of time to get how many people Sanji goes through in a week. Then times that by fifty-two for a yearly figure, or maybe fifty weeks if Sanji got holiday. He could take a guess at how many years that Sanji has been doing this for and then arrive at how many people Sanji has literally jerked off of the mortal coil.

It must be thousands, hundreds of thousands even.

"If you knew him like I did you wouldn't think badly of him." Zoro says softly.

"This should bother you and the fact that it doesn't tells me all I need to know about what he's done to your head. I don't care if he did it with demon magic, cursed items, hypnotism or what. This isn't like you, and I'm going to stop it." Usopp says with uncharacteristic bravery.

"How are you going to do that?" Zoro asks uneasily.

"I'm going to find a way around this cursed deal that I was forced to make and tell the others. Then we'll hunt him down and kill him." Usopp says waspishly and yanks the door open.

As the silencing spell breaks background noise floods into the room, it's almost alarmingly loud having been muted just before. The selkie stalks out into the flood of students rushing to their next classes and Zoro is left alone.

He sits down on a desk and looks at the floor.

Sanji can't use magic on him without his permission; he knows that. He knows that he's never made a deal with Sanji and if he had he would have had to agree to a clause making him forget it, he'd never do that unless someone's life was in danger and Sanji has never met anyone else on Earth with Zoro there except for Usopp. He knows that Sanji can stir up sexual attraction in people who aren't asexual, but can he stir up emotional attraction? He can't remember any one moment when his feelings for Sanji changed or even the telltale 'it's always been this way' perceptions of memory tampering. He cared for Sanji more and trusted him more over time, like in real relationships. It'd be hard to fake that memory if Sanji even could.

There's a lot of implausible assumptions to the view that Sanji manipulated him into feeling like he does for him. It's far easier and far more logical that his feelings are genuine.

But then there's that bit about how many people Sanji has killed. Usopp is right, that should bother him.

He tries to make it bother him.

The problem is that most people who summon Sanji do it themselves of their own free will, one could argue that Sanji manipulates them into consent somewhat afterwards, but he can't do that before he's there. Anyone who summons a sex demon and expects that to not go badly for them is dumb as fuck and probably deserve all that they got. But there will be some people like him, people who had Sanji sicced on them as a means of assassination. He could argue that anyone who pisses someone off enough to make them that desperate to kill them deserves it, but then he would be including himself.

Sure a large part of Sanji's victims brought their fate on themselves and were probably going to hell on their own anyway, but there's no way that Sanji never got an innocent person.

That doesn't sit too well with him.

Those people had families and friends who lost them suddenly. Just as Zoro's parents were taken from him leaving a gaping wound in his and his sister's lives Sanji has probably done the same. There are likely people out there angry and hurt like Zoro was only because of what Sanji has done.

He feels... bad for them. He does. He knows that Sanji is powerful and dangerous, but he also knows the way that Sanji's tail swishes in delight when he eats chocolate. He knows the way he gasps softly in the dim light of the tv when a surprising twist happens on the screen. He knows about Sanji's insecurities and how he trusts Zoro. It's hard to reconcile the two sides of him together.

Usopp's right, he is acting hypocritical and contradictory. He doesn't think that Sanji has been altering his mind, though. He thinks he's just... human. Hypocrisy is almost a defining trait of Zoro's species.

The boat has probably sailed on getting Usopp to see Sanji in the same way but maybe if he can get the others to like Sanji first, then Usopp will have to tolerate him. Eventually, he might come around. After all, Zoro doesn't see how anyone could see the other side of Sanji and not love him.

With that concluded he heads to alchemy, then weapon training, lunch, comparative physics, and finally his day ends with his yearly panel test for supernatural abilities such as precognition, telekinesis and so on.

Zoro is thoroughly exhausted when he gets home, and he drops his bag onto the floor and crawls into bed. His brain has been chewing on Usopp's threat all day and what he can do about it.

He rolls onto his side and pulls his phone free from his pocket and texts Sanji.

are you busy?

It takes about ten minutes for Sanji to text back, startling Zoro back from the edge of sleep.

Not now. I'm all done for the day, how about you?

Can we talk?

There's a long pause before Sanji replies.

Sure. Summon me?

Zoro does so, and Sanji appears in a burst of flame at the other side of Zoro's bedroom. The demon stands there awkwardly, and Zoro sleepily reaches out a hand and pulls him down onto the bed. Zoro curls forward and presses his head into Sanji's shoulder and tries to fight the pull of sleep.

"You said you wanted to talk." Sanji says tightly, and Zoro realises that he may have alarmed the other man with those words.

He goes to kiss Sanji's jaw to soothe his nerves, if today has proved anything it's that he's not as clever with his words as he'd like. He wouldn't want to say the wrong thing and upset Sanji. Only he doesn't get as far as kissing him before he spots a smeared lipstick mark on Sanji's neck just over his pulse point.

"You have lipstick on your neck." He says in numb shock.

Sanji sits bolt upright and goes scarlet almost comically fast. He snags a mirror out of thin air and peers at his neck in it. Zoro watches him scrub at his skin and his glamour slam down in anxious panic. His hair is smooth and silky gold, skin perfect and everything polished to perfection.

"I'm- fuck... I'm so sorry. I usually shower but I got your message, and I didn't want to fuck up by not coming over soon enough but-. Shit, I'm-" Sanji whimpers pathetically as he turns to look down at Zoro.

"It's not like I don't know what you do at work, it's ok. I was just surprised." Zoro says softly and sits up.

Sanji is beautiful, especially with his specially crafted glamour and though he prefers him as he really looks, he can see why people fall at his feet. That sense of dissonance rings inside of him again. The Sanji that kills and the Sanji who was worried about them needing to talk.

"How many people have you killed?" Zoro asks.

Sanji stiffens and stares at him wide eyed. His mouth opens and shuts a few times before he can force out any strangled words.

"Why do you want to know?" Sanji asks in a tight voice.

"Why don't you want to tell me?" Zoro says back.

"Because I'm afraid that you'll hate me, moron. Why do you think I don't want to tell you?" Sanji says.

"Well if it was the kind of thing that'd make me hate you don't you think that you'd rather know sooner than later?" Zoro reasons.

"I'd rather we both lived in ignorance thank you." Sanji says primly and throws himself down on the bed face down.

Zoro watches him entirely unimpressed for a few moments and then Sanji sighs into the mattress.

"It's not like I keep count, but I can check. Are you sure you wanna know?" Sanji asks, not looking at Zoro at all.

Zoro is not entirely sure that he does want to know, but maybe that is all the more reason that he should.

"Yeah, tell me." He says with a nod.

"I've only been doing this since I was twenty, I had a late start." Sanji explains as he sits up again and starts casting some kind of spell in his hands. It looks red and firey, and when Zoro tries to look at it too hard, his feels his eyes start to cross.

"How old are you anyway? I never asked." Zoro asks curiously.

"You know we live way longer than humans and don't view our age in the same way that you do, right? When our kids are less than ten, we view them the same way humans do, after that we age far faster than humans and then we're just adults. You just get more powerful as you age from then on. I don't think of someone double my age the same way you think of someone who's double yours; we're basically the same." Sanji warns, opening one eye as he talks.

"Yes, thank you. I took my first demonology class years ago; I do know all of that. How old are you?" Zoro repeats.

"I'm one hundred and ninety. I had my birthday not too long before we met the first time." Sanji says, and the spell in his hands seems to finish, a demonic character swirling above Sanji's palms.

"You are ten times older than me." Zoro says in wonder, staring up at his ceiling. He wonders at the history Sanji must have seen, or perhaps he didn't see much from other people's bedrooms.

"Is that going to be a problem?" Sanji asks, his voice tense.

"No, it was just weird that I didn't know." Zoro answers, shaking his head. It also gives him is years to plug into his mental equation to work out Sanji's likely body count. If he only started work when he was twenty, then he's been doing this for one hundred and seventy years.

"Do you still want to know how many people I've…" Sanji hesitates to complete that sentence.

"Tell me." Zoro says firmly.

"Ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and sixty. As of just now." Sanji tells him and rubs at the spot where the lipstick had been once more.

Zoro frowns, his math must be off.

"That's less than I thought, I'd tried to work it out myself earlier but without knowing how old you were." Zoro explains.

"We get more holiday than you might think. We have unions and everything, and there are lots of regulations, so it eats into the time." Sanji explains.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Hell and bureaucracy, right?" Zoro laughs, leaning back.

"Pretty much." the demon agrees softly. He's still nervous about how Zoro is going to take that answer. How is he taking that answer? Ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and sixty people. It's too big of a number to wrap his mind around. He needs a comparison. How many is fully filled sports stadiums that? How many towns? He opens up the internet on his phone and tries to search.

"What are you doing?" Sanji asks after a little bit.

"Trying to put your number into scale so I can understand it." Zoro answers as he keeps searching, Google is so unhelpful.

"I've never actually tried to visualise it all at once." Sanji admits. Zoro supposes that he couldn't imagine what it would look like to see all of the food that he's ever eaten over his life all stacked up in one place.

"Apparently, you could have fucked the entire population of Edmond, Oklahoma off of the face of the earth." Zoro announces and looks at Sanji whose nose is wrinkling.

"I am pretty sure that I have never fucked anyone in Edmond, Oklahoma at all. I can't say I feel bad about that, am I supposed to feel bad about that?" Sanji asks, and Zoro drops his phone on the bed by him.

"I don't know, man. That's a pretty personal judgement you're asking me to make about an entire town in Oklahoma that I've never visited or heard of before now. This wasn't as helpful as I was hoping." Zoro admits.

"What were you hoping for?" Sanji asks, sliding down on the bedspread, so he's settled against Zoro's side.

Zoro frowns at the ceiling. What was he looking for? Surely he wasn't hoping that Sanji was going to be the Batman of fucking people to death. He only goes after the really bad guys, and he's the hero we all deserve.

"Okay, laughing to yourself is both fucking rude and worrying, cut it out or explain!" Sanji snarls as Zoro covers his face to stifle the snorts of laughter that had bubbled up within him.

"Sorry, sorry. I was just… I was talking to Usopp today about you. He's convinced that you have me mind controlled because otherwise I'd hate you for all of the people that you kill and I'd have tried to kill you myself." Zoro explains.

"I would never! I could never, and I mean that literally I- that's not a thing I can even do to you." Sanji protests.

"I know, I know. I said that to him too. I think he just thinks too highly of me. I… choose not to think about what you do, how many lives you take. Whenever I kiss you or watch a movie with you, I don't wonder how many lives you've ended since the last time I did either of those things with you. I probably should, but I don't." Zoro confesses to Sanji in the dim light.

"I guess I could ask you if they were all bad people or not. Can you tell that? You get to see their souls don't you?" Zoro asks, looking over at him.

"Sorry, but unless you're either a saint or a serial killer, it's all just the same muddy in between grey to me. Judging you isn't my job and even if it was, isn't redemption supposed to be humanity's thing?" Sanji points out.

"I guess." Zoro sighs. There are no answers for this. He's got no proof that Sanji only kills bad people, but no proof that he doesn't. He could argue that Sanji can't help what he's made for, but if he does that, then he can hardly claim that Sanji isn't some monster. He knows that Sanji isn't manipulating him, but he could be wrong on that too. He has no proof of anything.

The demon's expression looks tortured and he shuffles closer and presses their foreheads together. When Sanji tilts his head slightly, Zoro can feel the way his skull is slightly different to accommodate his horns.

"So what now? I'd understand if you didn't want… not after knowing for sure what I've done." Sanji mumbles.

Zoro reaches out to touch Sanji's face. The movement makes his arm sting. The arm that Sanji saved. Actually, Sanji saved all of him, saved his life. He has proof of that. And he… oh! He turns and reaches behind him for his bedside table, grabbing for the small metal heart there and then holding it in his hand. He grabs one of Sanji's and presses it so that it is between their clasped hands.

"Maybe I'm stupid for this, but I still want to be with you." He tells Sanji in the dark, and the heart gets warm.

"I want my friends to like you." He adds, and the warmth seeps further.

"I want to spend more time with you on our planet and explore the whole place." Zoro says, his whole hand feels beautifully warm now like a warm shower after a cold outdoor run.

"I want you." He tells Sanji firmly.

Both the metal heart in his hand and the beating one in his chest are warm.

"I want you too." Sanji whispers and Zoro shivers happily.

He leans in and kisses him, drawing the same kind of soft, needy noise from Sanji that he's done several times before. They kiss more, and Sanji's claws prickle through Zoro's shirt and into his skin, he doesn't care, though. It's kind of nice to see Sanji lose this sort of control around him. He pulls back for a moment and looks at Sanji's blonde-ish hair haloed around him on the bed, his pretty little horns, blue eyes blown wide and thoroughly kissed mouth. How could Sanji ever need glamour when he can look like this?

I love him. He thinks, very loudly to himself.

Inside Zoro's closed palm, the small metal heart becomes startlingly warm all of a sudden. So, it does thoughts too if they're focused enough.

Sanji's expression becomes startled, and he sits up a little and looks around and then back at Zoro.

"What did you just do?" Sanji asks him a little breathlessly.

"Kissed you?" Zoro replies in confusion.

"No, not that. I felt… magic. I think?" Sanji frowns.

Zoro lifts his hand up and holds up the glowing heart by way of explanation.

"Sorry, I still had this in my hand. Apparently, it works with thoughts too. It surprised me as well." Zoro explains and drops the thing on his bedside table. Sanji sighs and drops his head back down.

"That explains it; I guess I could feel it too because I was touching you or something." Sanji agrees, and Zoro fees Sanji's tail sneaking around Zoro's upper thigh and wrapping tight.

"It was a Franky invention, who knows how it works." Zoro agrees with a laugh and leans back down over Sanji. He kisses the side of Sanji's neck that didn't have lipstick smeared on it and then goes for Sanji's pointed ears. He almost laughs when he remembers that terrible Lord of the Rings movie that the two of them had watched together. Sanji had gone on a big diatribe about how ears don't WORK LIKE THAT. Ever since he'll occasionally ask Sanji 'what can your demon ears hear?' and usually get a Coke can rising at his head for his troubles.

Sanji reaches up and kneads his fingers into an aching spot between Zoro's shoulder blades, making him groan. He really does spend far too much time behind desks studying. He drops his head onto Sanji's shoulder and all but melts, Sanji is excellent at this.

"You know I can feel how good that feels? You should take better care of yourself." Sanji tuts at him, his hand slowing as he speaks.

"Can you lecture me and fix my back? Don't just lecture me." Zoro complains, and Sanji laughs.

"And they say I'm a hedonist." The incubus laughs brightly.

"Mhn, you are." Zoro agrees, but Sanji is making his back feel good again, so he doesn't really care.

A massive burst of fire above them is enough to jar them both out of their relaxed state, especially when a notepad lands right on Sanji's face. Sanji snarls and pulls it back to read. After a moment his eyes go wide, and with some force he shoves Zoro clean off of the bed and then falls upwards into the fire, taking half of Zoro's blanket with him before the portal disappears.

Zoro stares dumbstruck awe for a few moments before lunging for his phone and texting Sanji.

WTF was that?!

A reply is not immediately forthcoming and when it does come it's just the word 'fine' in all lower case and a random space in the middle, so it actually reads 'fin e'.

It is five minutes before a proper message comes through from Sanji, and when it does it is not very reassuring.

I need you to grab all the food in your house that you can eat right away. Cookies, soda, milkshakes, that kind of thing. Grab all of it and put it in a bag right now.

What? Why?

DO IT

Zoro scowls, but he figures if Sanji is willing to yell at him by text for that then the least he can do is humour him. What's the worst that'll happen? He'll have to put it back later, big deal.

He goes to the kitchen and grabs a grocery bag; it's one his sister bought him that's entirely black and says 'emotional baggage' on it because his sister is under the terrible delusion that she is funny. He opens the fridge and throws in what little soda he has; it's not much. He has a protein shake or two which is usually his go to after working out with Kuina, that goes in the bag. He's got a sealed tub of olives and a bar of chocolate that he was going to give to Sanji, that all goes in the bag. In his cupboard he has some pretzel things, Pringles and some bananas that are starting to get a little too ripe. That's about it for food he can eat right away with no prep work. It's not like he's going to eat the raw meat and uncooked head of broccoli in his fridge followed by some dry noodles.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and Zoro looks at it.

Summon me

Zoro rolls his eyes. Sanji had better have a good excuse for this. Nonetheless he mutters Sanji's incantation, and the stressed looking demon appears in a flash of fire.

"Explain." Zoro says flatly.

"First, did you get what I told you?" Sanji asks, his expression is wide-eyed and worried.

"Yeah, but-" Zoro begins to protest.

"Great, start eating something now, and I'll explain as quick as I can." Sanji orders him. Zoro scowls but stabs a straw into his protein shake and starts to drink, raising his eyebrows expectantly at Sanji.

"Ok, okay so… ah… you know my parents are dead? A demon hunter killed them, left me for dead topside because we can starve. Especially when we're children we can starve." Sanji explains hurriedly, and Zoro winces with guilt for his species and the profession he was formerly training for. He nods and keeps drinking.

"Well, my old man found me and adopted me and took me back to hell with him. He ah… he runs a restaurant down there. Demons can eat all kind of stuff, and it's stuff that'll keep incubi alive, I mean we have to eat something when we're young and still in training, right?" Sanji babbles. Zoro didn't know that, but he'd never really thought of it. It does make sense though given that Sanji has told him that there's training.

"The thing is that he wants to meet you, which is totally reasonable. Your sister wanted to meet me and make sure that I wasn't terrible for you. But the problem is that he's not… he's not actually a demon like me." Sanji says, pacing back and forth. Zoro finishes his drink and throws it in the trash.

"What kind of demon is he then? And why are you forcing me to drink this stuff?" Zoro asks exasperatedly. Sanji reaches into the bag with a frown and hands him the bag of pretzels and opens them.

"Eat. I mean that he's not a demon at all. He's only down there with us because he should not be on Earth. But he is determined to meet you, and I can't take you down there, and he can't come here." Sanji babbles in panic.

"What happens if he comes here?" Zoro asks through a mouthful of pretzels.

"Well, everyone in your building will probably be dead in minutes and if he gets mad everyone in this city will be dead in ten. So, not here. The food is to try to delay him having an effect on you. We need to go somewhere else, and I thought your planet was good, can I take you both there?" Sanji pleads.

Zoro swallows around the thick mush of chewed pretzels; he needs a drink with this. Like his mouth hasn't already gone dry just from hearing what Sanji is describing.

"If I don't say yes, he'll come here?" Zoro asks warily.

"Yeah, unlike everyone else he can come and go wherever he likes. No magic can stop him. He wants to see you, and he's going to one way or another. I tried to talk him out of it, but this was the best I could do." Sanji says sorrowfully. Zoro frowns, what the hell is this guy? Nothing should be that powerful.

"Okay then." Zoro agrees, and relief breaks out on Sanji's face.

Sanji grabs him carefully, wrapping one arm around his side and the ground falls out below them. Zoro sees the smeared red fire of hell before he pops out on the other side to the fresh air of his planet. It's the same place Sanji took him at first, with the red fields and weird flying lobster butterflies and the black and red trees in the distance.

"Okay, this is perfect. You need to sit down on this rock, try not to touch any plants or anything organic. And don't… don't move. Keep eating and drinking." Sanji tells him and rips out a few straggling plants that were growing near Zoro on the rock.

"What's his name?" Zoro asks, catching Sanji's sleeve.

"He… prefers the name Zeff. He doesn't like his true name, not that knowing it would give you any power over him. He's not a demon, remember?" Sanji reminds him.

"I'll be right back. I'm so sorry about this." Sanji apologises and poofs away in a puff of fire. Zoro cracks open the soda and at a long sip. Sanji seems genuinely concerned here. Should Zoro be worried about this? He's sure that Sanji would never hurt him, but his adoptive father could kill him without Sanji being able to stop him, the trust he extends to Sanji shouldn't extend to everyone Sanji likes.

There's nothing he can do about this now, Sanji is his only way home, and he's gone right now. So all Zoro can do is think. He's a student of magic, he can treat this as an exam question.

Food can slow the progression of whatever magic Zeff is putting out, which suggests that it's perhaps a passive effect. Sanji phrased it passively too, the people in his building and city will be dead in X amount of time. He didn't say 'Zeff will take this long to kill people this close to him'. That also suggests proximity is a factor, which it often isn't with active curses.

He knows that he's not a demon and naming magic doesn't affect him. That rules a lot of things out. Sanji also said that no magic could stop him, though that's not the same as saying it doesn't work, rather that it won't be able to defeat him.

So… Zoro is either looking at something exceedingly powerful but more likely something very old. Newer magic is often not as powerful as older magic and sometimes doesn't work on old things. Exceedingly old liches were sometimes immune to new hybrid magic types. With them, you sometimes just had to dismember them the old fashioned way and slowly pick their magic apart, not that it was done to sentient ones like Brook anymore but still. And Zoro is… without his sword or his wand. Some witch he is, all he has is junk food.

In the distance, a fireball materialises and then dissipates. Sanji is there but so is something else. The creature that Zoro is looking at is tall and looks like a centaur. Sanji's head doesn't even reach the man's equine back. The more humanoid upper body is of a pale skinned blond man. If it wasn't for the fact that the guy is half horse he'd even say that he and Sanji were biologically related. Zoro chugs his drink and thinks, he tries to work out what he is. He can't just be a regular centaur; they're not super magical at all.

"Can you just calm your fuckin' tits already and stay over there? Don't kill him or anything!" Sanji snarls, his tail lashing angrily.

"You don't tell me what to do. So this is him, huh?" Zeff remarks, shoving Sanji in the head and looking at Zoro.

Zoro's stomach rumbles, and he compulsively stuffs another handful of pretzels in his mouth without thinking about it. Zoro eyes the man's feet, or… hooves rather. He notices suddenly that one of his legs is fake, a prosthetic is made of gold and affixed to the upper part of his leg with a series of complicated runes. Around the four of his hooves, both real and golden, the plants are starting to wither, and the dirt is beginning to crack. Zoro swallows thickly.

"It's good to meet you." Zoro says, his throat dry from the salt. He drinks some more.

"Shows what you know. Roronoa Zoro, hn. Do you know who I am? Do you know what I am?" Zeff asks challengingly.

"I know… I know you adopted Sanji, that you're sort of his father now. I know you call yourself Zeff." Zoro says, his eyes flicking between the horse bodied man and the ground. The small flying lobster like creatures that live in the fields are dropping to the parched floor.

"And?" Zeff prompts.

"I know… I know…" Zoro trails off; he needs to work out what he is. That's the question.

"I know you're old." Zoro says, watching one of them twitch on the floor.

"Old as balls." Sanji snorts inelegantly.

"Older, before either of your species had external reproductive organs." Zeff corrects.

"It's just an expression." Sanji sighs. Another little lobster creature twitches closer to the first; its body is weak. Zoro was right; this is a passive power.

"This thing that you're doing is passive but… but I bet you can do it on command too. More focused." Zoro amends.

"Correct." Zeff agrees.

Zoro grips his stomach, he is… he's hungry. One of the fallen lobster creatures attacks the other and from the blood flying Zoro can guess that it's eating the other one, cannibalising it. Zoro opens and drinks his second protein drink but it's not making him feel any less hungry. He needs to figure out what Zeff is.

"Are you a demigod? Or… I mean all of the gods are missing, unless that's what you are?" Zoro asks hesitantly. He tries to look at Zeff with his best magic penetrating stare. It's enough to make what little glamour Sanji has on warp slightly, going blue at the edges. Zeff doesn't change, though, it's like he's far too real. He's a lead ball on the rubber fabric of reality, weighing it down. Zeff is laughing loudly.

"Phah, gods. I was here before them, and they died like everything else has." Zeff laughs derisively.

Zoro is famished, he can hardly think straight. He looks blearily at Zeff the weird… man… horse… horse man. Wait.

"You're a horseman." Zoro blurts out. Zeff raises one eyebrow at him but says nothing.

"As in, of the apocalypse. That's why you're destroying everything around you, that's what you're for. You're…" Zoro feels the clawing empty feeling inside of him and looks at the little creatures eating each other alive.

"You're famine." Zoro breathes.

"Hm. Smarter than he looks." Zeff laughs.

"Augh, Zoro! Keep drinking. Zeff can you just back off already?" Sanji snaps and shoves at the actual fucking horseman of the apocalypse; unsurprisingly he doesn't manage to make him move.

"This needs to stop, this thing between you." Zeff says firmly.

Sanji pauses, he was halfway onto the rock that Zoro is sat on and instead of climbing on he just turns around to face the horseman. It's funny, Zoro never thought the name was that literal. He'd always seen it as a man on a horse, not a man who is also a horse.

"Stop interfering in my life! I'm happy, isn't that the point?!" Sanji shouts angrily, and Zoro watches his horns grow larger, and his eyes go darker. He's getting closer to his true demon form.

"This could kill you." Zeff responds. Zoro tries eating more but it's not working anymore, it's not helping. He's never going to not be hungry.

"This is gonna kill him if you keep it up!" Sanji hisses, his voice pitching in a way that sounds far more serpentine than Zoro is used to.

"Fine, see for yourself." Zeff snarls and reaches to the centre of his own chest. He jerks his hand forward, and Zoro can see a thick silver chain running from Zeff to Sanji.

"Yeah, it's our bond. So what? You're my old man; I do actually care about you, even when you pull shit like this. Now I'm taking him home before you starve him to death!" Sanji says sharply and turns away, the chain phasing through his body harmlessly and coming out of his back instead.

"It's not your only one." Zeff says sharply.

Sanji was already reaching out to Zoro who is beginning to feel lightheaded and woozy. It's like that time he trained all evening with Kuina, forgot to eat and then ran out the house the next morning without breakfast. He almost fainted in the library when he got up that day. He feels far worse now.

"What is… what is this?" Sanji murmurs, reaching down between them.

Zoro leans against Sanji's shoulder and looks down. His mouth feels so dry. He looks down and sees a small chain between his chest and Sanji's. A fine golden thread, only about as wide as a strand of spider silk but it's there.

"Is this love?" Sanji asks, reaching out to touch it. The moment that he does Zoro finds the feeling of starvation overridden by his feelings for Sanji. The need to protect him from people who would do him harm, the need he has for everyone to see how great he is, the trust that he has in him and the peace and comfort that he brings Zoro. It fades the moment that Sanji lets go. He stares at Zoro with wide black eyes, his eyelids are a bright red like hot coals, and they glow just the same.

"You love me?" Sanji asks in stunned awe.

Zoro can't bring himself to reply in more than a groan. He's pretty sure that he's going to die here. But at least if he does then he won't be alone.

"Human love. Enduring, irrational, dangerous and crazy powerful stuff. If this bond between you is allowed to continue or worse still allowed to grow, then it could kill you. Incubi can die of a broken heart and him dying when that bond is stronger will break your heart, and you'll die too. He's a pure human and a witch no less; they don't live long Sanji. He's got thirty years left in him if you're lucky." Zeff insists, walking closer.

"If you cut it now, you'll be safe." Zeff insists, and Zoro sees the horseman try to reach for him. He means to kill him.

"No!" Sanji shouts.

It's the last thing Zoro hears. Or at least for what feels like a very long time.

When he wakes up it's dark, and he's in his room on his bed. He groans in pain; his stomach feels like it's caved in from hunger so much that it touches his spine. Sanji's head snaps around, his horns are long and curled around his head. Pitch black eyes lined with burning blink at him quickly before going back to normal.

"Drink this right now!" Sanji blurts out and shoves a jug of something in Zoro's face.

Zoro has no complaints; he is unbelievably thirsty. He tips the jug back and gulps the thick almost honey like liquid down. Eventually, Sanji pulls it out of his hands and takes it away.

"Okay, that's enough of that. Don't want you going the other way. Even if it might fix this problem. Have water instead, here you go." Sanji says nervously and presses a bottle of room temperature water into Zoro's hand. Zoro doesn't complain and drinks rapidly and with enthusiasm.

He sits up a little woozily, and Sanji reaches out to steady him. He does feel somewhat better though.

"What was that stuff? What happened?" Zoro asks, pointing at the jug in Sanji's hand.

"Well, like my old man said. He's been around longer than any god ever was, so ah… our home is full of all sorts of things throughout history. This is… nectar." Sanji mumbles, his thumb running along the ridge of the jug.

Zoro blinks stupidly at Sanji for a moment.

"As in 'of the gods'? The stuff that grants mortals immortality?!" Zoro shouts, his voice rising in volume and pitch as he goes on.

"It's not really immortality! It's more like… extended not dying. Which in practice is very different. You were dying; I needed to put that off until you could recover from starving to death. It's life giving too so you should be feeling better. Don't worry I didn't curse you with immortality." Sanji assures him and Zoro relaxes a little.

"One of the actual four horsemen of the apocalypse tried to kill me." Zoro says as it all sinks in.

"He thinks of it as stopping something else from killing me. He sees it as making your kid take antibiotics when they've got an infection. He's lived so long, and you've lived so little that you mean about that much to him, at least when you're threatening me anyway. He quite likes humanity generally, that's why he almost never comes up here." Sanji says uneasily.

Zoro wants to argue that he's not some virus that's infected Sanji, he's a person who can make his own choices just as Sanji can. He decides not to though, Sanji clearly already knows that and may even have been trying to argue that very point to his own guardian already. He knows that Kuina can be irrational about protecting him, so goodness knows what she would be like given that kind of power.

He slumps tiredly against Sanji's shoulder. He's been doing a lot of almost dying recently and it's exhausting. He looks sideways at Sanji's partially bare chest. The shirt that he's wearing is one of those floaty affairs that's open halfway down. He recalls that there was something between them, a gold chain.

"What was that thing?" Zoro asks weakly and drinks some more water.

"What thing?" Sanji asks, turning his head and nearly clocking Zoro with his now much larger horns.

"That chain." Zoro clarifies, and Sanji winces.

"You remember that then." Sanji mumbles and looks down into the jug uneasily.

"Yeah, so explain." Zoro urges him.

Sanji seems to hesitate as if trying to work out the best way to put this.

"You know how we're different species to each other?" Sanji starts off calmly.

"Yeah, I noticed." Zoro says flatly.

"Don't be a smartass. Different species often feel the same things but differently. I mean, consciousness is all the same basic stuff, same as emotions. We're made up of the same metaphysical table of elements, but we have different makeups. Even your awful Selkie friend will have a different kind of mind to you. The pair of you both experience happiness for example, but it'll feel different to him than it does to you because of how you're each put together." Sanji explains.

"He's not awful, but go on." Zoro corrects, but Sanji flat out ignores him. He still needs to work on them liking each other eventually.

"If we're going to be super simplistic about this, humans are primarily made up of love and anger. That's the whole reason why demons work on you so well. You make deals with us to fuck other people over, or yourselves depending on the demon." Sanji laughs.

"When any species capable of love falls in love with someone else it makes a bond. I have a strong bond with Zeff because he's basically my parent, it goes both ways. We'd kill to protect each other, as you are obviously aware." Sanji mutters that last part guiltily.

"Well, Kuina wouldn't be any different in the same position so I guess it's reasonable." Zoro agrees with a sigh.

"Exactly. But it seems that you and I…" Sanji trails off. He raises his hand to his chest, just over his heart and with a little shimmer of displaced air Zoro can see that thin gold chain again. Zoro glances back to the heart that he left on the bed and remembers the last thing it had told him was true.

"I love you." Zoro murmurs and before his eyes the chain grows a little thicker and Sanji's breath hitches.

"This is… apparently a problem." Sanji says tensely, and Zoro looks at him in surprise. That wasn't the response he had been expecting, and if anything Sanji looks regretful.

"So. After I had got you back here to safety I had some time to talk to Zeff, he explained some things. He said that human love is stronger than everyone else's and kind of different. I mean you kill each other over it all of the time. It's how it affects other species is the problem. The gods weren't the most level headed of people when they were still around, but human love to them was like…" Sanji hesitates, trying to think of a comparison.

"Alcohol?" Zoro suggests. Strong and often a precursor to poor decisions, it sounds about right.

"More like heroin and crack at the same time, they did all sorts of dumb shit because of it. And, well, it turns out it's not so great for me either. There's this whole ironic punishment thing, a lot of demons have our weaknesses as ironic punishments because deities are cruel like that. I'm a sex demon and the one thing that can for sure kill me is love." Sanji says miserably.

"I'm killing you?!" Zoro shouts in alarm.

"Well, no, not right now. Just… when you die, it may well kill me too. Dying of a broken heart and all that. I didn't know about it until now; apparently it doesn't come up a lot. I have a lot of contact with humans but not long enough for this to be a problem. Except for in this case. No one ever told me until now!" Sanji shouts, clearly angry at everyone else.

Zoro considers everything that Sanji has said and considers that he passed out because Zeff made a good attempt at trying to end his life. He always figured that starving to death was long and painful, but that was quick and relatively painless. Zoro has been putting Sanji's life at risk but not maliciously. Perhaps that was a mercy on Zeff's part. But if everything that Sanji has said is true then killing him should be the last thing Zeff wanted.

"Zeff was trying to kill me before it was too late. He figured he could fix you up again like… amputating a dying limb." Zoro concludes for himself.

"I couldn't let him. I couldn't see you die; you mean too much to me." Sanji says with a shake of his head.

Anger flares bright in Zoro, isn't that one of the two things humans like him are made of? Well good, because he's fucking pissed.

"Well, you should have! You can live forever, but I'm going to die for sure in no time. This is the second time I've nearly died in a week!" Zoro shouts at him.

"You sound just like him! I don't care about the math, I care about you, you thick-headed idiot!" Sanji argues back.

"I'm probably not going to even live to be old, Sanji. You can't do this." Zoro protests.

"It's too late, Zoro. It's already made, look." Sanji says, tapping on the gold chain. As he does Zoro feels the same stir of affection for Sanji that he's been building on for ages. Damnit, it is too late.

"What if it's my heart that gets broken, not yours? What if you break up with me?" Zoro asks after a moment, his heart aches at the thought, but if it'd save Sanji's life, then it's worth it. He'd do anything to keep Sanji alive. He watches as the chain between them warps and looks a little sturdier, committing to keep Sanji safe is strengthening it, not weakening it.

"Does that answer your question?" Sanji sighs.

Zoro flops down onto the bed and covers his face with his hands. Great, he's now Sanji's death sentence of indeterminate length. The thought of being the cause of that physically hurts him. Maybe Sanji is right about humans; maybe they have too much of this in them.

"I'm sorry." Sanji whispers and Zoro looks up at him.

"This isn't exactly fair to you Zoro. To tell you that if our relationship ends, it'll kill me. I'm just forcing you to be with me, it's not right, and it's not fair. If you wanted to be with another human now then you can't, and it's all because of me." Sanji says weakly. His form is warping back to his put together glamoured one, a sure sign that he's on guard or uncomfortable.

"You didn't know this was going to happen, you can't blame yourself." Zoro reassures him, but Sanji doesn't look convinced.

Zoro pauses. He's going to have to be with Sanji forever. The thought is terrifying but not bad. It's the same vertigo like feeling when he has to make huge decisions about school, the idea of his future changing permanently and not knowing if he's making the best choice. Not bad but definitely terrifying. The thought of still getting to spend time with Sanji in twenty years is nice; they may have explored huge areas of Zoro's planet or even new planets beyond it. They could have a nice place, and Sanji can eat all of the chocolate that he likes. That doesn't feel bad or scary; it feels nice.

"You're the only boyfriend I've had where getting told this wouldn't feel like a death sentence for me. If I had to be with any of them for the rest of my life or risk killing them I'd be horrified. This feels okay." Zoro says thoughtfully.

"I thought you'd be upset. I'd understand. You don't have to lie about it if you are, it's not that fragile." Sanji says sceptically; he clearly doesn't buy that Zoro doesn't mind. Perhaps he thinks that Zoro is in shock.

"No, I'm good. But we need to get you properly introduced to my friends and tell my sister just what you are. I'm a bad liar Sanji; I can't lie forever. It's better that we choose when rather than them finding out suddenly. Anyway, you being friends with my friends is good for…" Zoro trails off into embarrassed mumbling. What he means is that it's good for the long term health of their relationship. He dreads to think what would happen if he fell out of love with Sanji, it's a lot of pressure to get it right.

"I guess that means that I really can't hurt your selkie friend, huh?" Sanji says regretfully and sits on the bed next to Zoro.

"Well, that's the thing with my friends. You're always going to want to strangle at least one of them at any one time. You just learn to live with it. Besides, look, my arm is almost done healing." Zoro says cheerfully and holds his arm out as proof. Sanji doesn't look pleased, but he's evidently not arguing.

"I'd better go, Zeff's probably throwing a shitfit back home and destroying all the food. When he finds out that he's done that he'll just get angrier. I should try to calm him down." Sanji sighs and grabs the jug of nectar off of the side. Zoro would be fascinated to study that stuff but he's pretty sure that Sanji wouldn't let him, goodness knows how many rules he broke just letting Zoro drink any.

"I'm sorry." Zoro apologises again. Sanji smiles at him fondly and reaches out to stroke Zoro's jaw.

"I don't regret anything. I just hope you never come to regret it." The blond says gently.

"Text me?" Zoro asks hopefully, and Sanji's face brightens.

"Of course. I'll see you soon." He replies and leans down to kiss Zoro. He's not sure that he's ever going to get tired of that, which is a good thing he supposes.

Sanji backs off a little way, his usual procedure for popping back away into hell. Zoro hesitates, but he may as well say it.

"I love you." He calls after Sanji. The blond goes scarlet across his cheeks at Zoro's words and covers his face with his hands.

"I… I love you too!" Sanji blurts out and vanishes in a burst of fire.

Zoro grins and gets out of his bed. Half of his blanket is still missing, probably at Sanji's home if it was Zeff who summoned him back. The room spins a little, but he makes his way unsteadily to the kitchen. He still feels famished, so he calls up his local pizza place and orders two large pizzas just for him. When they arrive, he demolishes them both without even really noticing their flavours and falls asleep on his bed still clothed.

Despite all of that he finds when he wakes the next morning that he's lost a good deal of weight. He steps onto the bathroom scales to discover that he lost a little over fifteen pounds and that's AFTER eating two large pizzas to himself last night. His face looks thinner, and Zoro can see that what little body fat he had is more or less gone. On the one hand he now looks like a guy on the cover of a fitness magazine when he's naked but on the other hand, this is super unhealthy and unless he gains this back real quick he's going to lose years worth of physical training. He'll never beat Kuina if that happens.

The only trousers that he can put on and have stay up are his really old jeans from when he was sixteen and that's only with his belt on super tight. He throws a hoodie on over it and hopes that the bagginess of it will disguise how much he's shrunk.

He has breakfast at home and then again at school, stuffing a cold toaster pastry in his face as he waits for his alchemy class with Luffy to let in. To his glee, he's able to defend his food from Luffy and eat it in time. Alchemy goes by pretty calmly. They don't turn lead into gold but that's way more advanced than the level they're at, plus the banks and the royal society of scientists get upset when witches do that. It's not exactly against the law because that would mean admitting that it's possible, in return for it not being illegal, witches aren't taught how to do it and agree not to if they work it out. It's very much a gentleman's agreement. All he and Luffy manage to do is to accidentally melt iron without heat; then it's just study in the library while the laws of thermodynamics stop crying.

Their little group has a tradition of meeting up in the library. They always get one big corner to themselves, mainly because the library always warps to fit their needs. Loud students appear further from those needing quiet, sound travels oddly and books reshelve themselves. It's a strange place but Zoro likes it, even if it makes him feel somewhat unsettled at times. It's like the books watch him.

"Hello Zoro, hello Luffy." Robin calls from down the hallway. The pair jog to catch up with her and they all keep walking in the right direction.

"So Luffy, I've got a boyfriend. This one's really great and I want you all to meet him. Sooner rather than later I think. Are you guys doing anything this weekend? I'll ask him if he's free just to be sure but he's pretty flexible I think." Zoro says, trying not to think too hard about the other implications of his words.

"Oh, wow. I didn't know. Yeah sure, I'm good, can we go eat somewhere or have a party?" Luffy asks excitedly.

"If he's as self-conscious as you've led me to believe Zoro then perhaps an evening in would be best. Franky and I would be happy to host; we have the largest home." Robin offers kindly.

"That'd be really great, thanks." Zoro thanks her gratefully.

"Self-conscious of what?" Luffy asks as they enter the library. Someone shushes him but Zoro doesn't see who. No one ever sees who shushes them.

"He's not human, like… at all. He's worried you're all going to think he's a monster." Zoro fudges his answer, man he's bad at this. He can't wait to not have to lie anymore.

"If you like him then I'm sure he's fine." Luffy assures Zoro, as if he was the one worried.

"I really like him." Zoro says with some feeling. He doesn't want to confess that he loves the man yet, not to them. But they can at least know that his feelings are strong.

"Oh ho ho ho!" Robin laughs deviously.

"Always a worrying sound." Franky's voice calls from around the corner. They walk around a final bookshelf and see their friends already sat around the table, except for Usopp who is looking for a book in the stacks a little further down.

"Zoro was just telling us how enamoured he is with his boyfriend. He wants us all to meet him." Robin says slyly.

"Hey, it worked out then!" Franky says delightedly.

"That explains why you're all red." Nami giggles.

Usopp rushes up to their table and loudly slams his book down on the stack that he's already amassed, he's staring piercingly at Zoro with one eye twitching from stress. A disembodied 'shhh' scolds him.

"Usopp, what are you getting all of those books for anyway? 'Demonology vol.2 Incubi and Succubi', 'Demonic contracts and you', 'A treatise on exploiting demonic contracts', 'The big book of mind control'? What are you researching?" Chopper asks in bafflement as he reads Usopp's selected texts.

Zoro freezes as Usopp stares at him for an uncomfortably long time.

"I wish I could tell you." Usopp says with some feeling.

"Anyway, Nami are you free this weekend? I was hoping to introduce everyone. Luffy and Robin say that they're free so I'm assuming that Franky is." Zoro presses on, trying to ignore the weirdness that Usopp is deliberately trying to infuse into this conversation.

"Hey, sometimes I do things on my own you know. Robin doesn't literally have me by the balls!" Franky protests.

"Well sometimes…" Robin says slyly, turning Franky scarlet and making Luffy guffaw loudly in amusement.

"I would be delighted." Nami confirms.

"I'm not free Sunday but I can do Saturday." Chopper volunteers.

"I think the same goes for me, Saturday would be best." Brook agrees with a nod.

Usopp is tapping loudly and angrily on the book on mind control when people look at him. There is a long expectant silence during which Usopp just stares pointedly at Zoro.

"Are you coming then Usopp? You wanna meet Zoro's boyfriend right?" Luffy finally prompts him.

"I-" Usopp's face changes with surprise and Zoro doesn't realise why until he starts talking again.

"I already have." Usopp says slyly. Zoro's blood runs cold. Sanji must have phrased their deal in a way that means that Usopp can only talk about Zoro dating Sanji to people who know about it, but now everyone else does.

"You never said!" Nami gasps in outrage, because how dare anyone have the hottest gossip before her?

"Yeah, that's super weird and questionable of me isn't it?" Usopp says with a good amount of venom.

Everyone is looking puzzled and if Zoro doesn't do something, then Usopp is going to blab before his friends have a chance to meet Sanji and get to know him before finding out what he is.

"It's not a big deal. Usopp came around on the day that he burnt my arm, just to check how I was doing. The injury was worse than he thought and my boyfriend was there already because I called him when the pain got too bad. He fixed me up, they talked a little and then Usopp left." Zoro explains quickly.

"What's his name anyway? Isn't it really weird that Zoro's not brought that up yet?" Usopp asks meanly.

"Usopp, cut it out!" Zoro hisses at him but Usopp clearly isn't having any of it. Oh, the lengths his friends will go to when they think that he's in danger. It would be touching if Zoro were actually in any danger.

"That is weird. Zoro, what is his name?" Robin asks suspiciously.

"Oh! Oh! Ask me that!" Usopp says loudly, the air shushes him but he ignores it.

"Okay, Usopp, what is his name?" Robin asks, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

Usopp doesn't say anything, but he rather pointedly doesn't say anything. Zoro can see that his teeth are gritted with some force.

"You make her ask you the question and then don't answer it?" Nami huffs in irritation.

"Unless… you can't answer it. And you can't tell me that you can't answer it. Usopp what books do you have there again?" Robin says slowly, leaning forward to look at them.

This is going badly, Zoro needs to get out of here now. He's got to warn Sanji that his spell is compromised and things might be changing. He just needs to get out of the library to use his phone; the whole place is enchanted so they don't work here. Zoro backs quietly out of the stacks and turns to leave, only to run face first into an invisible wall.

"Where are you going Zoro?" Brook asks calmly and Zoro turns to see him levelling his sharpened bone wand at Zoro. It's him making the invisible wall that Zoro can't get past.

"Out?" Zoro tries. Brook does not look convinced, Zoro isn't surprised, that excuse never worked on his sister either.

"So urgently? Whatever for?" Brook asks calmly. The rest of Zoro's friends are looking at him suspiciously now and Zoro doesn't like that.

"I just… I need to send a text. The library doesn't let you so I was just going to duck out for a moment." Zoro answers honestly.

"Who to?" Nami questions slowly.

"My boyfriend, just about meeting up is all." Zoro says warily. He reaches his hand behind his own back. His wand is always easy to reach from his bag. He can probably dispel Brook's wall and make a run for it. Then he can hide and send his message and deal with the consequences after.

No sooner has his wand fallen out of his bag and into his hand than it is flying across the room away from him and into Nami's hand. A chair whips out from under the table and scoops Zoro into it, banging into his now significantly bonier knee as it does so. The wooden arms of it warp up and wrap around Zoro's torso and arms, holding him fast.

"Hey! Let me go!" Zoro shouts, the air shushes him again.

"You were trying to use your wand to escape!" Nami says accusingly.

"Or attack Brook." Usopp chips in.

"Why are you all being so weird?" Luffy shouts, throwing his arms up in the air.

"I believe what Usopp is implying is that there are contracts and mind control in play here. Zoro, are you under any form of mind control or demonic deal?" Robin asks him smoothly. Zoro glares at her in sullen silence, sometimes with Robin, it's best not to say anything. She has a way of pinning other people's words down and making them squirm into interesting patterns.

"Zor-o answer my quest-ion~" Robin singsongs and gently hums afterwards. Zoro tries not to look at her but she's… captivating and she sounds…

He can feel his brain turning to pudding.

"No." He slurs out

"No, what?" Chopper says with a frown.

"You're right Chopper; I should word that better." Robin sighs and her feathers fluff in irritation.

"Boy, I sure would love to answer that question that you asked Zoro." Usopp says pointedly.

"Okay, are you under any form of mind control or demon deal?" Robin asks. Usopp opens his mouth to utter silence and eventually shuts it with a full body shudder.

"He is, and he can't talk about it!" Nami gasps in horror.

"So is it just Usopp then? Zoro said no when you asked him that." Franky points out.

"I can't trick people into telling me things they're not aware of. Remember, you once asked me to make you tell me the answer to the problem in your thesis because you were stuck. You didn't know it so you couldn't." Robin reminds Franky.

"You are all overreacting, let me go!" Zoro snaps and kicks at the table.

"Focus on helping me first, please." Usopp says with a sigh and sits in a chair of his own.

"Could we play twenty questions? Knowing what he can't tell us would help and ruling things out would too." Luffy suggests smartly. It would be exactly what Zoro would already be doing if he weren't the one stuck in this situation.

"Go for it." Usopp agrees.

"So if it's something you can't talk about, just say nothing. Otherwise give us an answer, right?" Brook says, tapping his bone fingers on the bare wood table.

"Does Zoro's boyfriend have something to do with this?" Nami asks, getting right to the meat of the problem. Usopp does not say anything at all; he remains totally motionless.

"That's a yes, I'm writing these down." Franky notes and starts to write frantically.

"Okay, is he silenced like you?" Nami guesses.

"I don't know." Usopp answers, though it's hesitant as though he doesn't expect to be able to say that.

"Is Zoro affected by the same single deal that you are under?" Robin asks urgently.

"No. I don't know what's wrong with Zoro." Usopp answers.

"Nothing is wrong with me! You're making them think badly of him, and he's a good person!" Zoro argues angrily.

"I don't know, Zoro. This is some serious magic to put on someone. Usopp, you got books about incubi out. Is this guy an incubus?" Luffy asks, choosing that moment to be suddenly perceptive. Damnit. Zoro tries to get his arms free, but he's stuck. Maybe if he throws himself backwards he can smash the chair, but then Brook still has that wall up and Nami has his wand. Damnit.

Usopp doesn't answer the question about Sanji being an incubus.

"Your boyfriend is an incubus?" Robin demands, looking at Zoro.

"You don't understand." Zoro mutters.

"What would an incubus even want with Zoro? He's asexual, right? Wouldn't that make him immune?" Chopper asks with a frown.

"That's probably why he's still alive." Brook sighs, keeping his wand trained on Zoro still.

"He and Usopp just had a… a misunderstanding. I love him." Zoro insists, perhaps that honest of a confession will make them let him go.

"Okay, I guess he's not completely immune. Can they get you through love as well as sex?" Brook asks, looking around their group.

"I'd bet that most people aren't around long enough to find out." Robin says grimly.

"Some demon is trying to kill you and has warped your mind enough that you don't know you should get help. Then Usopp found out, and it silenced him. This needs to stop; I'm gonna kick his ass." Luffy growls.

"No! Don't hurt him!" Zoro protests. The air shushes him once more, and Zoro looks up in irritation, not that he'll ever see the invisible force that makes the noise.

Wait.

It can hear him. That means that other people can hear him, Brook's wall doesn't silence the noise behind it! If you're loud enough in the library, it throws you out! He can escape and let Sanji know what happened. Maybe he can work out a plan of what to do, or Zoro can agree to a deal that minimises what harm he's capable of putting Sanji in.

"HEY! HELP! LET ME OUT!" Zoro bellows at the top of his lungs. His friends all leap to their feet in alarm and try to shush him but the library is already doing it.

"MY FRIENDS HAVE TIED ME UP! HELP! HELP!" Zoro screams.

Chopper leaps the table and smacks him in the face. It's not really painful, just surprising. It certainly surprises Zoro enough to make him stop for a moment. He's about to start screaming again when everything suddenly feels…

Feels really…

it

slow

da r k…

"Chopper what did you do to…"

Zoro becomes blearily aware of gravity dragging him down, but it's ok. He's on something soft. He feels really stupid and tired.

"It should be soon! How was I to know that he'd lost that much weight? Magical anaesthesia is dosed just like the traditional kind. Besides Zoro's got the constitution of an ox, he'll be fine." Chopper says from somewhere leftish.

Zoro manages to open one eye and then the other. He doesn't manage to synchronise it, and when he blinks, it's out of order too. He groans sluggishly and tries to force his eyes to focus.

"Zoro!" Chopper says and appears above Zoro suddenly; he's all fuzzy and out of focus.

"He's awake? Give him here; we need that name." Robin says and then she's above him too.

"Whhhaaaa?" Zoro slurs incoherently. His eyes slide shut, and he feels like falling asleep again.

He can hear Nami talking, reading out a list of symbols and Brook complaining that he's running out of blood for it or something. He can hear the sound of markers squeaking, and it's soothing enough to make him fade away again.

"Zoro, wake up." Robin says, shaking him. Zoro opens his eyes and squints at her.

"We need to know the name of the incubus. We need the spelling too if you can." Robin says insistently. Zoro looks past her and sees circles being drawn on the floor in both blood and marker, layers after layers of them in intricate writing. Usopp, Franky and Brook are all writing in clean, tight script with Nami directing them from atop one of Zoro's sofas. They've rearranged the room to make space. They're trying to summon Sanji here and trap him. Zoro becomes a lot more alert and quickly.

"No! Let me go!" Zoro shouts and shoves at her, trying to get to his feet. He fails, though. Whatever Chopper did to him is screwing with his ability to control his body.

"Zoro, please. We're your friends." Robin says sweetly, her avian eyes focusing on him. Zoro grits his teeth and shakes his head. Robin will start singing as her next resort; she can lull him into doing almost anything like that. He can't let her.

"Robin, no! You can't mix siren song with magical anaesthesia, we don't know how it'll interact, and you could hurt him. I forbid it!" Chopper yells, getting between the two of them.

"Fine then. Franky, did you say you put that invention of yours in the bag?" Robin says, turning around to look at Franky. The engineer looks up until his eyes land on Zoro, his expression goes sad.

"He's not cooperating?" Franky asks sadly rubbing his chin and getting sharpie on his lip.

"No, and Chopper won't let me sing to him." Robin answers and shakes her head.

"You're taking this all wrong." Zoro tells them, his words still sounding drunk even to his own ears.

"Then yeah, it's in the bag. Just recite the incantation and throw them at him." Franky explains.

"Nothing in the bedroom. I'm telling you if he has it written down it's in here, there's nothing in the bathroom or the kitchen or under any of the tables." Luffy says, coming into the room suddenly.

Robin is rummaging in Franky's bag, and Zoro isn't able to even get off of the sofa before she mutters some incantation and throws two gobs of silver coloured stuff at him. The moment they hit his body they bind him, wrapping around his arms and legs. The bond isn't tight, but whenever he tries to move they snap closed and prevent him from doing anything.

"Get this off of me!" Zoro protests but everyone ignores him. Fucking hell, eventually the anaesthesia will wear off enough that Chopper will permit Robin to grope about in his brain for Sanji's name. He needs to come up with a plan before then.

Luffy has started looking around in this room. He's picking everything up off of his shelves and looking on the underside. Looking for Sanji's name written down. Well, he's not going to find it, Zoro burnt the sheet of paper with Sanji's name on it when he'd memorised it. Or… at least he meant to. He is filled with the feeling that he sometimes gets at school, the sneaking suspicion that he forgot to shut the freezer door and is going to come home to defrosted food and a lot of cleaning. Fuck, where did he keep that paper? He… he put it. Shit, he put it inside his demonology 101 textbook because it seemed like the obvious place to keep it.

"This is why I didn't tell any of you what he was; I was afraid you'd react badly!" Zoro shouts at them.

"He's a demon, Zoro. They're all bad. How else could you possibly expect us to react?" Nami says sharply.

"It's not your fault Zoro; you're clearly not yourself. Maybe we'll all laugh about this someday. We'll get you fixed up, I promise." Brook says softly.

"When he came for me for advice he was probably fighting this, and I was too stupid to realise it." Franky hisses to himself angrily.

Luffy is working his way down the bookcase, taking each book and flipping through it before tipping it upside down and shaking it. He's getting closer and closer to Zoro's demonology 101 textbook.

"Luffy!" Zoro calls out in desperation. The other human looks at him in surprise.

"Trust me; I'm not under any mind control. I just can't let you do this because I love the guy, I don't want him to be hurt. Think about it, if you kill him and then find out I wasn't under any control or any deal then you'll all feel terrible." Zoro warns.

Luffy squints suspiciously at him and runs his hands over the books, right over the demonology 101 book. He pauses and then goes back to it, picking it up all while maintaining eye contact with Zoro. Evidently, Zoro is giving something away on his face. Luffy holds the two ends of the cover and shakes the book violently. A sepia-tinted piece of parchment falls slowly out of it and Zoro cringes, he forgot to burn it.

Zoro tries to power through his body's sluggishness and struggles upright, if he can just get to Luffy and destroy that paper before the others get to it then it'll be fine. Someone calls for Chopper and the young healer leaps on Zoro and casts some spell on him that turns his entire body numb. He falls ungracefully from the sofa and lands on the floor face down.

"This is it." Luffy says grimly.

"I'll read it, after Zoro I'm the best at this." Nami says regretfully.

"I think we're done, just show me the spelling to add to this part." Franky says and Zoro hears a few more squeaks of the marker.

"Everyone get clear." Luffy orders and there is a good deal of shuffling. After a long pause Nami reads aloud the incantation that Zoro could do in his sleep now. It's Sanji's true name that makes Zoro's heart ache enough to be able to turn his head and look.

Fire blooms in the centre of the circles like a summer flower and Sanji appears forth in a pinstripe suit without the jacket and with his blue sleeves rolled up. He hasn't even touched the floor before black chains whip out of the the bloody writing on the ground and lash around Sanji, dragging him to the floor with a painful sounding thump.

"What the fuck?!" Sanji yelps in alarm and looks around.

Guilt coils hot in Zoro's stomach as Sanji's pained gaze lands on him. This is all his stupid fault.

"Zoro, Zoro what did they do? Are you okay? Talk to me!" Sanji shouts and struggles against his chains.

Zoro's tongue is numb and it's worse than any trip to the dentists so all he can do is whine sadly and guiltily at the poor demon. Sanji hisses in response and looks at Zoro's assembled friends who are all staring menacingly at him.

"When I get out of here I'm going to kill all of you for this." Sanji vows to them.

Zoro closes his eyes and groans; this isn't how he wanted this to go. This can't be happening.


	12. Chapter 12

Sanji struggles against the ties binding him to the circle that he is trapped inside. It feels like something distinctly powerful but also fragile. He looks around the room and sees everyone's figures warping like funhouse mirrors, all of them except for Zoro. Zoro is slumped on the floor, the fresh forming bruise on his forehead and all of the rest of him rendered in perfect clarity.

So that's what's keeping him here.

He flexes his wrists against the tie and touches it with his fingers. It's blood, well, dried blood animated into a chain and diluted with alcohol and some other oil, cloves perhaps. The fact that he can see Zoro properly and not the others is hint enough that it's Zoro's blood. Zoro did tell him that his special "virgin blood" was useful in rituals. There's a bandage on Zoro's forearm that suggests that the draw was fresh, and given Zoro's own bound state it was likely not freely offered.

Rage boils inside Sanji, and he pulls against the blood bond. Virginity is a stupid concept, Sanji doesn't believe in it, and Zoro doesn't believe in it, so it has no power here. The only people who buy into is are the ones who made this trap, and if they really trusted it, they wouldn't have put two other layers of protection around it. Therefore, no one believes this works, and so, quite literally like magic, it no longer works.

The blood chains around Sanji shatter and then splash to the floor. The pulsing in Sanji's ears dies down, and the rest of the world outside of Zoro comes into true focus.

Sanji stands gracefully and smoothly and calmly cracks his knuckles as he turns to face the group of people around the circle. Alarmed faces look back at him, and Sanji regards them all coldly.

"I really want to hear how you all thought this was a good idea." Sanji says flatly.

"You're gonna pay for hurting Zoro, the only reason I'm not kicking your ass in person is because it'd screw with the circles!" A kid in a big straw hat shouts at him.

"Zoro wouldn't have told you that I'm hurting him because I'm not, and he's no liar." Sanji points out and walks away from the kid as much as he can so that he's off to the side where Zoro is slumped on the floor.

"Zoro, can you hear me?" Sanji asks softly.

Zoro's eyes flutter open, and Sanji can see how unfocused they are, his breathing is sluggish and uneven. What the hell did Zoro's so called friends do to him?

"You don't get to talk to him, you talk to us." A woman snaps and crouches down between the two of them, blocking Sanji's view.

Sanji bites down on his irritated hiss, Zoro is clearly not going anywhere, so maybe Sanji should work on these lot. He looks the woman up and down. She is wearing a knee-length wrapped skirt and her legs below it are bare and covered in rich jewel-toned feathers, her eyes are birdlike and sharply focused on him.

"You must be the rather ironically named Robin, the part siren. You know, Zoro was trying to convince me that we could all meet and be friends. He seemed to think that the way the humans treat you with suspicion would make you sympathetic to me. I guess we know the answer to that now then, hmm?" Sanji sneers and stands up again, he doesn't miss the flash of hurt on her face. That barb landed.

"So let's guess the rest of you then. I'm already acquainted with the cowardly squealing Usopp over there, I bet you feel real proud right now." Sanji says, and Usopp puffs up his chest.

"I got around your stupid deal didn't I?" He brags.

"I should have put you through the same pain you put Zoro through every time you thought about breaking it. I guess this is what I get for leaving out clauses like that in an effort to be nice to Zoro's friends." Sanji says bitterly. It really was a weak contract, but he figured it only had to last a little while with Zoro's friends, especially as Zoro wouldn't let him kill the bastard.

"So ok, I know who Robin is, that makes you Nami. Half harpy. Was the blood thing your idea because Zoro did tell me that you were smart, so I'd be disappointed if it was." He tuts.

"I don't see you getting out of the other two." She points out smugly.

"Sweetheart, you don't see me trying." Sanji replies smartly.

He looks around the rest of the group, it's a process of elimination now.

"It's pretty easy to spot the lich in the room. Brook, yes?" Sanji asks, looking at the skeleton which somehow still has hair.

"Correct." The man nods.

"Zoro thought that you and I would get along, that you'd understand me. But I can't help noticing that you have me locked up here." Sanji says calmly.

"Zoro is clearly not thinking normally, he's under some kind of spell that we can't remove. So it's regrettable, but this is our only choice." Brook says, and to his credit, he does sound unhappy.

"I suppose that Zoro told you he wasn't under any spell." Sanji says.

"Correct." Brook nods.

"And I'm telling you that I didn't put any spell on him to affect his mind, beyond the painkiller to soothe the damage that Usopp did to his arm that time. Do you believe me?" Sanji asks, though he knows the answer.

"You have every reason to lie, so I am afraid that I cannot believe you." Brook replies one last time.

"How convenient for you all. You've all decided that I deserve to die before I even got here, no matter what the alleged "victim" says in my defence." Sanji says waspishly.

"You, tall and metal. Franky the genius engineer I suppose. The furry incompetent doctor is Chopper. Which makes hat boy here Luffy. I know the whole lynch mob, how cosy. So what's your genius plan from here, hmm?" Sanji demands, pacing back and forth as he stares at them.

"The plan is that we make you undo whatever it is that you did to Zoro. He's my friend, looking after him is my responsibility!" Luffy says angrily.

"But I didn't do anything, there's nothing to undo." Sanji says calmly, and Luffy clenches his fists in anger.

"Are you sure that I can't go in there and kick his ass?" Luffy asks, turning around to look at the harpy again.

Zoro groans and with some effort manages to lever himself onto his side, his expression is pained, and Sanji drops his focus on his captors to focus on Zoro.

"Hey, is whatever they did wearing off?" Sanji asks softly, crouching down to get a good look at Zoro.

"Mmmsorry." Zoro slurs and struggles to sit up, he takes a few tries, but he manages it. Sanji has to say that the effort makes Zoro go worryingly pale for a few moments and the sheen of sweat on his skin is worrying indeed.

"What're you sorry for?" Sanji asks gently.

"They got your name, it's my fault that… that they got you here. They found the paper… thought I'd destroyed it." Zoro says, clearly furious at himself.

"It's not your fault Zoro, I don't blame you." Sanji assures him gently. He doesn't blame Zoro, it's clear that his friends would do anything to catch Sanji. Zoro already told him that the siren can charm him into saying and doing things he doesn't want to, how ironic that she could use that skill to get Sanji here to murder him for supposedly doing the very same.

"Is this right?" A voice asks, and Sanji looks up to see that it is Brook speaking.

"What?" Franky asks, wide-eyed in shock.

"I mean, I know he's an incubus but what does he have to gain from this? This seems… real." Brook says uneasily, and Sanji has to restrain himself from smiling. Maybe there is hope here after all.

"'Cause it IS real!" Zoro shouts and nearly unbalances himself in the process.

"He's lying, he's manipulated Zoro into feelings things for him that he never would!" Usopp yells, waving his stupid arms around. Sanji hates that fucking selkie brat with all the strength of the fires of hell.

"Brook, we all promised not to let Zoro get involved with bad guys anymore. This demon took advantage of Zoro's loneliness, I don't care why. It's unforgivable." Luffy says coldly, glaring at Sanji. There's something there, something in his stare that shows more rage than Sanji was expecting. Like it's more personal than just looking out for a friend.

"I wasn't lonely! Don't make me sound pathetic!" Zoro argues angrily, the slur starting to fade from his speech.

"You're taking that awfully personally." Sanji says slowly, staring Luffy down. The rage in Luffy intensifies, and Sanji feels a lightbulb go off.

"You're like Zoro, aren't you? I wouldn't be able to seduce you either, would I?" Sanji guesses and Luffy snarls. So the kid feels protective over Zoro because he thinks that Sanji has stepped over some boundaries that Luffy himself is obviously very personally invested in.

"Tell us what you did to Zoro to make him agree to do anything with you, or else." Luffy says coldly.

"I work on consent, if I have to force someone to consent, then it isn't consent. What part of that confuses you?" Sanji sneers back, he's genuinely insulted here.

"He's telling the truth, let us both go." Zoro says, he sounds woozier than he did earlier and Sanji frowns. He was supposed to be getting better, but now he looks like he's going to fall over at any moment. Sanji figures that at least it means that no one else is going to use whatever magic they had on him to make him docile again, or at least not until this stuff wears off.

"Nami, turn it up." Luffy orders.

Nami holds her hand up, and runes and a circle appear around her hand, and the innermost circle begins to glow. Sanji frowns and looks down at it, scanning over the sigils and signs in there making up his cage. He feels his blood freeze as he sees his name, no wonder this is so strong, it's targeting him specifically.

He nearly staggers as suddenly everything feels far heavier, as if Nami turned the gravity up on him. A jolt of pain lashes out at him from the circle, skipping right through his skin and into his nervous system. It hurts but Sanji has dealt with far worse.

"Tell us what you did and how to fix it, we can keep making this worse for you." Robin says coldly.

Sanji says nothing, he's not going to beg for his life from these people. Besides, it's not as if they'd listen anyway. If he gets really hurt Zeff will probably come to find him anyway, the problem then would be with Zoro. If Zoro's friends die because of him, it's entirely likely that their new and somewhat fragile bond might break and then Sanji would die of a broken heart anyway. Or if Zeff inadvertently kills Zoro as he tries to free Sanji then Sanji dies from that. He's really fucked here.

His best shot is to break these barriers himself by force, not an easy task given that they have his name. Everything has a weak spot, and he has all the motivation in the world. Sanji jams his hands into the barrier line and pushes past the pain to try to feel the shape of the spell underneath, there has to be a weakness. He can hear Zoro's friends shouting and bickering about whether the spell will hold or not.

The shouting all stops though when a weight barrels into Sanji's side, knocking him to the floor.

"I'm a genius." Zoro's voice hisses in Sanji's ear.

Sanji sits up in alarm to see that Zoro managed to leap from outside the circle to the inside of it with him. His face is tight with pain and Sanji can see the barrier starting to attack Zoro's more vulnerable human body as well as Sanji's own.

"Zoro! What the hell? You can't- it'll kill you! Anything strong enough to keep him contained will turn you to dust eventually!" Usopp shouts in dismay.

"You should let us out then." Zoro says through gritted teeth, and his hand finds Sanji's and grasps it hard.

"We can't, that demon fucker will kill all of us if we do." Robin says in horror.

"But Zoro will die if we don't." Franky finishes for her.

Zoro is grimacing, but Sanji can see a grin under there. That was admittedly smart, incredibly stupid but smart.

"You shouldn't put your life at risk for me, dumbass. I could have got out of here on my own given enough time! Don't look so pleased with yourself!" Sanji scolds him, but Zoro is entirely unrepentant.

Zoro's friends are arguing in fear about what to do, how to help Zoro while keeping Sanji chained and there is no way. Zoro's actions being held up as both proof and counter proof to Sanji's supposed mind control.

Sanji sees another crack of black lightning whip out from the barrier and strike Zoro across the cheek. For Sanji it is pain, survivable but very unpleasant. For Zoro though, pure human and nothing more, it is far worse. Sanji can see it leaving spiderwebs of blackness under his skin, a living death soon to beat out the living part. Zoro looks pained but nowhere near what he should be.

"I guess I should be glad I'm still kind of numb from Chopper, huh?" Zoro says jokingly, though he flinches from pain at the end of his sentence.

This will kill him, he's going to die, and as he is Sanji's ironically exposed heart, Sanji will go too. He crawls over Zoro, shielding him from the rolling black lightning with his body, hoping to catch the worst of it. Even then it won't be enough.

"I'll make you a deal." Sanji says, looking up at Zoro's friends who at once stop their arguing and look at Sanji in surprise.

"Something equivalent to these rings. All you want is for me to not be able to hurt any of you and for me to be stuck in one place until you are satisfied, yes? I can do that with a deal, one that won't kill Zoro. None of us wants him dead so can't we agree on that?" Sanji says. He's not begging, but it's close. Pain lashes up his arm, but at least it didn't get Zoro.

"We can't trust his deals, he makes you take them when you have no choice!" Usopp hisses angrily.

"Well, of course he does. It's a demon deal. But we can't leave Zoro in there, he's barely awake anymore!" Franky yells in exasperation.

"Name your terms." Nami says sternly.

"I'm getting the materials to erase the circles." Brook says lowly and ducks away from the group to rifle through some bags.

Sanji mentally runs through what he needs in this deal and what he can reasonably expect the others to accept.

"I'm sorry." Zoro rasps and Sanji leans down closer over him. He needs to make this deal fast.

"Everyone who agrees to this deal is bound by the following terms, default on any part of the deal by any participant voids the entire deal. No participant may harm or kill another participant, Zoro, or any other human. The deal will end when either the terms are broken, or all participants agree mutually to end it. You agree not to discuss or allude to my existence or this deal to anyone on this planet, except Zoro, who has the power to harm or kill me in any way, nor may you tell someone not included under those criteria for the purpose of them passing that message on. This includes any written medium, conversation, recorded sound and mime. Attempts to do so will be silenced or subverted. In return, I will not summon or contact any demon regarding any of you, Zoro, or this deal. This deal will also end-" Sanji falters as Zoro coughs wetly and Sanji glances down to see blood on his hand, redness is also leaking from Zoro's shut eyes and the man is fully unconscious now.

"This deal will also end if within three days Zoro is not awake and recovering." Sanji finishes with a hiss.

The group converse desperately as Zoro's life slips away from him. Sanji has never hated a group of people more than he does right now.

"We also want to add that you cannot go anywhere unescorted by one of us willingly and with permission." Nami adds and Sanji sighs, he had hoped that she wouldn't add anything like that, but he is restricted in what he can argue for.

"I agree, do we have a deal?" Sanji offers them.

One by one they all agree and as Luffy is the last person to agree the spell snaps shut. It's a big enough one that it has a physical manifestation, he can feel the weight of a metal ring run right through the tip of his left horn. It appears differently on each of them, but they are bound by it too.

The lich sluices a bucket forward, Sanji can smell water, alcohol and some herbs in there. The circles dissolve, and the black lightning stops. The small furry idiot dashes forward and starts muttering some healing incantations at Zoro and Sanji can see some of the black marks receding. He remains unconscious, and Sanji looks up at Zoro's gathered friends.

"You'd better pray that he wakes up in three days." Sanji hisses. If Zoro doesn't and is going to die from his injuries and take Sanji with him, then he is sure as fuck dragging these bastards down too.

Zoro's friends bundle all of them into a few cars and then begin to drive, evidently not caring that they left Zoro's place a complete mess. They had tried to separate Zoro from Sanji, but he had successfully stared them down and said that they had to make him if that was what they wanted. He never agreed to do what they asked of him, it's not his fault they were too stupid to demand that as an addition to their deal.

He cradled Zoro's slumped body in the car all the way to some giant house. The gates opened automatically for their cars and when they pull up a young blonde woman comes out of the front door. Sanji has the jarring moment of recalling wearing that face, she was the one he impersonated for Usopp. The unscrupulous selkie dashes out of the car towards her and grabs her shoulders as he explains something to her fast and quietly.

"Can you please take him out of the car? He still has a room here, and he needs to be in a bed to recover best. I can lead the way for you." Chopper asks meekly. That at least Sanji will agree to and so he steps out of the car with Zoro's limp body in his arms.

He breezes past the blonde woman and her startled expression, he ignores everyone except the doctor leading the way. He remembers Zoro saying that he lived with his friends once, at least until he felt like he needed his own space enough to warrant moving out.

The room is small with a sloped ceiling as they're on the top floor of the house, but there's a large circular skylight and a matching circular green rug in the middle of the room. He sets Zoro on the bed, stiff guest linens not giving easily and he lets Chopper pull Zoro's shirt off. Sanji did his job in protecting the middle of Zoro's chest and stomach, but there are dark spiderwebs on the sides which Chopper sets to healing.

Sanji watches Chopper carefully for any sign that his healing is being less than helpful or even harmful, but it seems the little doctor just wants Zoro to be better. A small thing that Sanji can consider them having in common. When he's done Sanji climbs onto the end of the bed and sits in the space between Zoro's feet. He's going to stay here until Zoro wakes up. Chopper leaves him alone for a moment, though Sanji can just catch him talking to the others down the hallway. No doubt they're plotting a way to try to get out of Sanji's deal and don't want him listening.

He looks around the room and tries to take it all in. He can see small scorch marks on the rug and a few ink spills here and there, the result of early magic study perhaps. There are a few books still on the bookcase but from the way that it's warped it clearly used to carry many more books. It's a part of Zoro's life that Sanji knows almost nothing about. He's not going to get much time with Zoro in his short human life, and he resents all of the years he's missed already.

He wonders how long Zoro will get until he dies, until Sanji dies too. When Zoro goes will it be simultaneous or will his death spread down their bond like gangrene until Sanji perishes as well? Zoro's had three brushes with death in a week alone, that's not so much flirting with death as it is smacking it on the ass and winking at it.

A figure appears in the door, but Sanji doesn't bother to look up, still watching Zoro and the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

"We have plenty of time to work out what you did now. You should make it easier on yourself and just tell us." she says, Sanji looks over apathetically. It's Robin.

"That sounds like making it easier on you, not me. And I've already told you, I didn't do anything." Sanji sighs wearily. Why are these people so willfully stupid?

"We've agreed to take it in shifts, we're not letting you around Zoro unsupervised. And we'd rather that you weren't near him at all." Robin says, summoning a chair and sitting on it daintily.

"I'm not leaving you around him unsupervised either, you people are too dangerous for him. I'd rather you weren't near him at all." Sanji parrots back.

Robin glares at him, and he glares back, it's an old fashioned staredown. Sanji wins when Nami comes to relieve her five hours later.

They keep up the shift changes at regular intervals. Some of the groups try to diagnose what is wrong with Zoro, and others do not, Sanji supposes that there is only so much they can do when Zoro is out cold. For his part, Sanji does not move and doesn't sleep. It's not that he doesn't need to sleep, because he does. It's more that he can go far longer without sleep and he isn't keen on letting his guard down around these people.

It takes two and a half days for Zoro to wake up. Sanji had already been contemplating a plan of attack and no doubt they had been doing the same for him. Both of their plans are scattered when Zoro blearily opens his eyes and sits up.

Sanji and Usopp both rush closer to Zoro to see if he's okay. He looks… not great. His eyes are bloodshot, and his voice is croaky as all hell.

"How do you feel?" Sanji asks urgently.

"Like shit, how are you here? How am I here?" Zoro asks, looking blearily around his room.

"Well, I had to do something to get you out of that circle." Sanji mutters unhappily.

"EVERYONE! HE'S AWAKE!" Usopp screams down the corridor, making Sanji wince.

Sanji feels a pull on his horn and looks around to see Zoro, his hand raised and tugging at the brass ring in Sanji's horn.

"That's attached Zoro, don't pull." Sanji says snippily as Usopp returns to the room. Zoro's eyes go wide as he takes in his friend's appearance, Sanji knows just what he's looking at.

"Is that a RING in your nose?! Is… is that a physical manifestation of a deal?" Zoro asks in horror.

"Like I said, I had to do something." Sanji says regretfully.

"Zoro! You're okay!" Luffy exclaims, bursting in the room with Nami and Robin hot on his heels.

"Show me the deal Sanji." Zoro demands and holds out a hand.

"You should drink some water first Zoro!" Chopper pipes up, Sanji hadn't seen him come in but there he is.

"No thanks. I don't know what you might have put in it." Zoro says coldly, and Sanji watches with some glee as the doctor winces and lowers the bottle of water that he'd managed to produce.

Sanji mentally pulls on the binding deal that he has and forms the contract in its written form on a roll of parchment. He hands it across to Zoro, the man's just going to keep on about it.

As Zoro reads through it the rest of his friends filter through into the room, though it makes it more than a little cramped. Zoro's expression is getting darker and darker as he reads.

"Has it worn off? He looks pissed." Franky whispers to Brook, who simply shrugs his bone shoulders.

"Who wrote this?" Zoro asks quietly, his eyes still reading over the text again and again.

"I can colour code it for you." Sanji offers and snaps his fingers, turning his text blue and Nami's addition orange.

"Nami is this orange part, and you're… everything else?" Zoro asks, looking up from it. Sanji nods.

"I see." Zoro says and rolls the scroll up tightly.

Zoro shakily gets up out of bed, one bare foot touching the worn rug and reaching out to Nami's shoulder to steady himself with one hand. He keeps the rolled up scroll in the other.

"Zoro, I'm so glad you're okay." Nami says, tears glistening in her eyes. Zoro nods slowly for a second and then, moving so fast that Sanji almost doesn't see it, smacks her over the head with the paper.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?!" Zoro yells at her and smacks her again. Sanji covers his mouth in delighted surprise, what a wonderful thing to see.

"There are so many holes in this deal you could drive a goddamn tank through it, you ought to know better! I could understand Luffy who slept through this class, but you're supposed to be as good as me!" Zoro shouts, waving his hands in the air.

"Well it worked, didn't it? Besides we were short on time what with you dying on us!" Usopp protests.

"No, it isn't working you idiots! The fact that you're all alive is a credit to Sanji's goodwill alone. If he wanted you all dead, you would be dead!" Zoro continues to argue and falls back down on the bed with a despairing groan.

"The standard of education in your school really must be very poor." Sanji agrees smugly.

"Well, what's wrong with it?" Nami says angrily, rubbing her head.

"To start with you didn't determine what counts as harm, what counts as dead, what counts as human or demon and you hung it off of terms like 'reasonable' without defining them. Sanji could go into the street and off anyone who isn't 100% pure human which is, oh yeah, ALMOST EVERYONE. But worst of all if you pare the text of this back all Sanji has agreed to is 'I won't break the deal, these things would break the deal, and if that happens the deal is broken'. There's nothing in here actually forbidding him from doing any of this and no punishment if he does. You've basically just given me a bodyguard who has every motive to kill all of you and every reason to claim you started it!" Zoro lists off angrily.

Sanji grins toothily as Zoro continues ranting about the intricacies of demon law and contracts, lecturing his friends on how dumb they were and how lucky they are that Sanji is a good person. Zoro looks hot when he's angry, even more so when it's angry at loudly defending Sanji and being smart on something really specific.

"Well, he hasn't killed us." Luffy points out, their argument is getting circular now.

"Because he's a good person!" Zoro argues angrily.

"He's a demon!" Usopp shouts back.

"Yes! That doesn't change anything!" Zoro snaps.

"He's obviously brainwashed you Zoro, you should sit down and not work yourself up so much. You're still weak from being hurt. I know it doesn't feel right, but you have to trust us." Nami assures him gently, but if anything that seems to make him angrier.

"Actually, I don't. I try to involve you all in something important in my life, and you attack me, drug me and kidnap me, all against my will. I don't have to trust you at ALL. Give me my wand back, we're leaving." Zoro demands, holding his hand out for it.

"Zoro, it's obvious what he's after. We're trying to help you here." Luffy says. He's been tense and tight this whole time, like it really does bother him personally.

"Yeah, I mean what else could he get out of being with me? Are you serious Luffy?" Zoro barks at him. That one had to sting Zoro. It couldn't be further from the truth, if all Sanji wanted was sex then being with Zoro would be the most pointless thing ever, especially as he can get laid with almost anyone else without even trying. It's his _job_ for goodness sake!

"Zoro, we've been talking, and we're worried for you. You not bringing any of this up beforehand is worrying." Robin begins.

"Yeah, obviously you all handled it so well." Zoro all but spits, the resentment on his face plain to see.

"Zoro, that first seal we locked that demon in was a virgin blood seal. Your blood. But it didn't work." Robin says tensely.

Zoro's eyes widen, and he looks down at his arm. There's still a slight puncture mark there and a bruise under it, but Chopper cleared the worst of it up already.

"So you attacked me, kidnapped me, stole my wand, drugged me _and_ stole my blood. Great, good to know. This doesn't make you look better, Robin." Zoro says, his fists tightening at his sides.

"The virgin blood seal broke, Zoro! You have to understand what that implies!" Robin shouts at him.

Wait. Is Robin accusing him of…

Zoro seems to come to the same realisation of Robin's words at the same time as Sanji. He bristles in anger and shoves his way past Luffy and towards the large circular skylight. He wrenches the handle and pushes the window open, he climbs up and leaps out in one smooth movement.

"ZORO!" Sanji yelps and leaps over the group. They're on the fucking roof, Zoro is going to be a pancake!

Sanji hangs three-quarters of the way out of the window and looks down at the ground, but there's no Zoro there. There's a clink of tile and Sanji cranes his head to see Zoro climbing further up the roof and out of sight. This used to be his room. Clearly, he knows his way around.

"I forgot he used to go up there." Nami groans.

"This still counts at this building, so I don't need permission or an escort." Sanji tells them and bounds up the roof after Zoro. When he reaches him, Zoro is sat leaning against a chimney on the peak of the roof. His legs are tucked up to his chest, and his head is resting in his folded arms atop his knees. He looks small, and for the first time Sanji does feel older than Zoro, he's only nineteen when Sanji is almost two hundred. This probably is one of the worst things to have happened to him.

"I'm sorry your friends are assholes." Sanji says consolingly as he sits down opposite Zoro.

"They _aren't_ assholes. They're just… acting like it." Zoro says bitterly, looking up at Sanji. He looks tired and hurt, Sanji doesn't blame him.

Zoro looks out across the pleasant gardens of this house and stays silent for a good few minutes.

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry. You could have died because I was too sentimental and forgetful to destroy the paper that you gave me with your name on it." Zoro apologises bitterly.

"It's not your fault, from what you've told me about Robin's powers I think they would have forced you into saying my name anyway. Kind of ironic for people accusing me of mind control but there you go." Sanji laughs weakly.

"Apparently they don't care what they have to do." Zoro agrees sadly.

The silence rises up between them again. Zoro is obviously hurting, but Sanji just doesn't know what to say or do to make him feel better. But… maybe he doesn't have to. He reaches out and recalls his phone from his room and hands it to Zoro. The other man takes it in bafflement and looks from it to Sanji.

"Even though… even though me and Zeff don't always get along, he does make me feel better sometimes. So I figured maybe you'd want to call your sister, I don't know where your phone is but you can use mine." Sanji explains, feeling somewhat sheepish as he talks.

"Thank you." Zoro says softly, and Sanji hears the sound of him dialling. He holds the phone to his ear and Sanji hears it connect.

"Kuina, it's me." Zoro says, and his voice sounds small. He can hear a small and angry sounding voice which makes Zoro wince.

"I'm sorry, it really wasn't my fault. Look can- what? No, it's not my phone. Can I see you? I need-" Zoro trails off, and there's a waver of weakness in his voice that stabs Sanji through the heart.

"The worst. You wouldn't even believe me. I- what? No, no, we didn't break up. He's right here, he was the one who suggested calling you so you can put him on your nice list." Zoro laughs weakly.

"Can you come over? I'm- no, not at my place. I'm at Kaya's place, where I used to live. You should still have it in the GPS. And I need you to make me a promise, it's about my boyfriend. I have to tell you something about him and you're not allowed to freak out, just trust me. No, it's not that. Don't you think I would have said if it was- no, you shut up. Okay, I'll see you soon. Use the GPS. No, use it! You need to- hello?" Zoro takes the phone from his ear and grimaces.

"Well, she'll be late." Zoro sighs and hands the phone back to Sanji.

"She's going to get lost?" Sanji guesses.

"Uh-huh. I really need to get that curse removed." Zoro sighs and leans back against the chimney.

Sanji sits on the roof and looks up at the clear blue sky above him. He's never spent this long on Earth before, except for that one time as a child, and in all honesty his time here hadn't been spent gazing peacefully at the sky. Now that he knows that Zoro is going to be okay he feels less stressed and can at least somewhat appreciate this place. It still feels incredibly alien to him. He misses the warmth of his realm and the smells from Zeff's kitchen.

"You know, by leaving that many holes in the deal you really put yourself at risk too. It worked more in your favour, but you weren't exactly safe." Zoro points out.

"If you die then my heart breaks and I die too. 'Risky' is a step up from dead. Besides, it's not like your friends noticed." Sanji says with a shrug.

"I really can't believe that. The class on contracts with demons is a _core class_ , they've all taken it! I took it with Nami and Luffy! And I know that it's been a number of years for Robin and Franky, but it's ridiculous!" Zoro exclaims in frustration.

"You're pretty when you argue about academic things." Sanji blurts out, because his mouth evidently hates him. Zoro stares at him for a moment, and his cheeks go pink.

"Shut up." He mumbles and looks away.

The pair of them remain on the roof until after sunset, Sanji had actually slid into Zoro's lap and started sleeping after he confessed about his waking watch over Zoro. It's the least exciting time he's ever had with his face in someone else's crotch. An engine revving as a car pulls in startles him away from Zoro, and he's fairly sure that he was starting to drool in his sleep and he's also pretty sure that he can feel an imprint from Zoro's zipper on his cheek.

"That's my sister's car." Zoro says and slides fearlessly and casually down the roof, only just making the ledge of his circular window which is thankfully still open. Sanji follows him into his old room, down the hall and then down several flights of stairs to get to the front door.

At that point though Sanji hangs back, he's pretty obviously a demon, and he doesn't want his clearly demon visage to be what he shows to Kuina. His plan isn't entirely foolproof though, the main living area of the house is the room that the front door is in and Sanji lurking around the corner is noticed by several people.

Zoro opens the door as soon as Kuina knocks on it and Sanji ducks out of sight.

"Kuina." Zoro says, clearly relieved.

Several of Zoro's friends leap up off the sofa at the sound of her name and rush to the door.

"Hey, go away!" Zoro shouts at them.

"Kuina, Zoro's so called boyfriend is an incubus!" Usopp yells at the top of his lungs.

"Fucking squealer." Sanji grumbles bitterly. Maybe Zoro will let him make the bastard mute some time, that'd be fitting.

"Go away!" Zoro shouts and Sanji hears Usopp yelp like a startled puppy.

"A what now?" Kuina's confused voice asks.

"It's a kind of demon." Nami explains.

"NAMI!" Zoro shouts at her.

"Is that the thing that I'm not allowed to freak out about?" Kuina asks wisely.

"Yes." Zoro answers her.

"Sanji is- wait, Sanji? Where'd you go?" Zoro calls out, and Sanji winces. This won't be good.

Nevertheless, he steps around the corner and uneasily looks Kuina in the eyes. She seems startled, and he watches as she takes in his horns and his tail.

"We were in public last time we met, you were hiding those." Kuina says smartly.

"I can't exactly go out like this, so..." Sanji answers calmly, he doesn't feel calm, but he can pretend. He still has his dignity.

"That's understandable." Kuina says with a nod.

"You two have met before?" Nami asks in wide-eyed shock.

"Yes, he seems like a nice boy. I warned him what I'd do if he hurt Zoro and he seemed to think it was fair. Though they gave me a different name for him then so I don't know what to make of that." Kuina says, looking sidelong at Zoro suspiciously.

"Ah, I'm sorry. True names are pretty powerful stuff for demons, so we didn't say. His name is Sanji." Zoro says apologetically.

"Kuina, I know you don't know much about magic, so you need to understand. He's a bad demon, all demons are bad, but he's a sex demon. He literally kills people by fucking them. He's clearly got Zoro under some kind of spell for him to be okay with this." Nami insists.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I am not under any kind of spell!" Zoro snarls at her.

"And my magic doesn't work on him anyway, and even if it did, then you'd know if Zoro and I had fucked because he'd be dead. You'll notice that he's not dead." Sanji points out.

"Exactly!" Zoro shouts.

Kuina is watching this back and forth with careful and considered eyes.

"Little brother, are you under any kind of mind control?" She asks calmly.

"No." Zoro answers, simple and frustrated at the same time.

"What is our fight tally?" Kuina asks him with a smile.

"Five thousand, eight hundred and twenty-one." Zoro groans.

"To?" Kuina asks sweetly.

"Zero." Zoro hisses, covering his face with his hands.

"Seems like Zoro to me!" Kuina laughs and slaps Zoro on the arm.

"Come on, let's go upstairs where we can talk." Kuina says and steers Zoro in Sanji's direction, towards the staircase.

"Kuina, he's a monster!" Nami shouts after them.

"Funny, I used to say the same thing about you, but Zoro told me you were alright." Zoro's sister says calmly, without even looking around. Sanji was looking at Nami though, and he sees the way that she flinches back as if Kuina just backhanded her physically as well as with her words. Sanji's grin stretches wide, he likes Zoro's sister more and more.

Zoro leads his sister up to the room he's been laid out in for almost three days, Sanji follows because he doesn't want to spend time around Zoro's so called friends right now. He's not sure that he wants to spend time with them ever. Zoro shuts the door with a slam and leans on it silently.

Kuina looks around the room a little and then takes a seat on the bed. She looks over at her brother in silence before sighing.

"Start with why you're here." Kuina suggests.

Zoro clenches his teeth and Sanji can see the muscle in his jaw tensing as he does so.

"I wanted to introduce people to Sanji, as he really is. Not in the half way that I did to you, even though I thought I might have to do that first. But thanks to Usopp it went wrong." Zoro says tightly, pushing away from the door and pacing across the room.

"What did Usopp do?" Kuina asks calmly.

"He told everyone what I am, not that he should have been able to." Sanji answers unhappily.

"I could _kill_ him!" Zoro hisses. Sanji perks up in surprise, he's not heard Zoro this angry before. Or at least he hasn't seen him this angry when he's not yelling at the person in question. This is genuine anger and resentment.

"And how did he know?" She asks, looking between the two men.

"We met already. The asshole nearly killed Zoro with a bad spell, and Zoro called me in to help. After I'd stopped him from being tortured to death, then Usopp showed up and I ended up silencing him so he couldn't tell people about me. I didn't do a good enough job, clearly." Sanji explains with a regretful sigh.

He looks up and sees that Zoro has gone pale and completely still, his eyes on his sister who is staring bug-eyed at him.

"You WHAT?!" She shouts and lunges for Zoro. Zoro tries desperately to escape, but she grabs him in a headlock and smacks him in the ear.

"YOU NEARLY DIED AND NEVER TOLD ME?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She shouts at him.

"This is exactly why I didn't say!" Zoro shouts back, trying to squirm backwards away from her.

"Shut up! You are… you are grounded! You, keep talking!" Kuina snaps, pointing at Sanji.

"You can't ground me! I'm nineteen, and we don't even live together!" Zoro yells, he's still failing at escaping.

"I… ah… well, I guess Usopp got around the deal I made with him and let the others in on what I am. From what I understand they all decided that Zoro was being controlled by me somehow, which I can't even do, and then they knocked him out somehow and kidnapped him back to Zoro's place." Sanji tells her.

Kuina's arm goes slack, and Zoro squirms away, his hair sticking up in about eight different directions now. She looks up at him with wide eyes and a stunned expression on her face.

"They knocked you out and kidnapped you?" She asks him in quiet horror.

"They tied me to a chair, interrogated me, refused to listen to reason and then Chopper magically drugged me. They somehow got me back to my place and set out a bunch of circle spells to trap and kill Sanji. Oh, and they also stole some of my blood." Zoro says, his voice is angry and bitter.

"Why would they try and kill you?" Kuina asks, looking at Sanji now.

Sanji opens his mouth to answer but hesitates. He wraps his arms around himself unhappily. Why wouldn't they want to kill him? Humans are pack animals and super defensive of their own. Not to mention that humans hate demons, it was humans who killed Sanji's parents after all. Honestly, it was stupid to expect anything less.

"Because I'm a demon." Sanji answers weakly.

"Well, so what? None of them are human, we don't attack them!" Kuina argues, and Sanji can see it, the same fierce and angry kindness that Zoro has.

"They figured that if he had me under mind control that they could torture him into breaking it or see if killing him would end the spell. Which is… aside from being horrible, it's stupid. Sanji can't use magic on me without my consent and unless he'd specified that him dying ended any magic then killing him would do nothing anyway." Zoro points out correctly.

"So, how did you get here?" She asks warily.

"Zoro was an idiot, that's how!" Sanji says, still angry that Zoro risked so much.

"What did you do?" Kuina asks, looking at her brother dubiously.

"They were trying to kill Sanji, but demons are harder to kill than humans. I couldn't just watch that. So I threw myself in the circle with Sanji, they'd kill me before they killed him. I knew they wouldn't do that and they had to let him go to let me out." Zoro explains.

Sanji expects Kuina to attack her brother for his suicidal levels of idiocy, but instead she just nods sagely, as if she completely understands.

"That sounds reasonable." She agrees with a nod and Sanji smacks his forehead with his palm. Evidently, this is a family trait.

"Sanji made a deal with them to let me out, there's a bunch of holes in it, but he's basically their prisoner as long as they don't tell anyone about him. I only just woke up today, apparently I was out for almost three days." Zoro explains and walks past both of them to flop down on his bed.

Kuina stands there in the quiet room and looks from Zoro to him and back again. She sighs and reaches out to touch Sanji's arm with her hand.

"I'm very sorry that happened to you, we're not all like that. I'm very disappointed in his friends right now." She says sadly, and Sanji is touched by her thoughtfulness.

"I can't say that I'm happy about it, but I guess they were trying to look out for him." Sanji says unhappily.

"That's bullshit." Zoro growls from the bed, glaring up at the sloped roof with anger.

Kuina walks over to the bed and sits by Zoro in silence. She reaches out and pats Zoro on the knee.

"Even if your friends had good intentions that doesn't excuse the terrible things they did Zoro, you're allowed to be angry and hurt." Kuina says, her voice soft but sure. Zoro sits up and stares at the floor, his shoulders hunched in. He looks so wounded.

"Could you give us a moment?" Kuina asks, looking up at Sanji hopefully.

Sanji nods and calmly leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. He's not family. Not yet anyway. He wonders if Zoro is going to tell her about their bond and what it means for Sanji's life span. He turns around in the hallway to see Robin, Luffy and Usopp loitering there. They were clearly eavesdropping earlier and have just been caught.

"Fuck all the way off!" Sanji shouts, loud enough that he can hear Zoro and Kuina react inside the room.

They wisely decide to leave, and Sanji settles himself halfway down the staircase, well out of earshot of the sibling's voices. Sanji takes his phone out and contacts his old man, he did it once before just to let his old man know not to summon him back, but he gave no details then.

"Hey old man." Sanji says when the call connects.

"Brat, what are you pulling? You've been missing work." Zeff demands.

"I'm stuck on Earth for a little while, don't come up here looking for me. If I need you, I'll call you. Tell Iva I'm taking a vacation or something, I would call but I can't." Sanji says.

"What do you mean you- Sanji what did you do?" Zeff asks, his voice going quiet with horror.

"I did what I had to, Zoro was in danger." Sanji says defensively.

"I told you that boy was trouble." The old man says bitterly.

"I told you he was worth it." Sanji answers smartly and hangs up.

Well, now what?


	13. Chapter 13

Zoro sits on the bed with his older sister at his side and listens to the door latch click shut as Sanji leaves. He's allowed to be hurt and angry, huh? He was angry earlier, and he still can be if he focuses on it, but it's like the problem is too big to be furious at all at once. For the most part, he just feels… numb.

"Fuck all the way off!" Sanji yells from out in the hallway. So much for privacy from his friends, huh? There's no one else Sanji would be screeching at out there.

"That boy of yours is something." Kuina sighs.

"I love him." Zoro says simply. What else is there to say.

"The capital L kind of love? The 'we need to research if you can take a demon to church to marry him' kind of love?" Kuina asks and Zoro laughs, Kuina is grinning back but he can tell she's curious too.

"What do you think they'd have a problem with first? That we're both men or that he's an unholy servant of hell?" Zoro asks with a laugh and Kuina makes an exaggerated thoughtful hum.

Zoro leans back against the wall and closes his eyes.

"It's not possible but if it was, well, I wouldn't say no. It sounds quick, but you could say I cheated with magic and worked out how I really felt." Zoro says.

"Tch, magic." Kuina says, tutting disapprovingly. She's never fully approved of the magic thing.

"Don't start." He warns her.

"And your friends tried to murder him. I'm surprised you're letting them around him without you there after that." She notes.

"They can't hurt him without breaking the deal they made with him. Sanji has way more destructive power than they do, they're not that eager to die." Zoro says with a snort of derision.

The deal they made with Sanji didn't fix the problem that Zoro created when he threw himself in the circle, it just delayed it and mostly removed him from the equation. Now Sanji is just a time bomb, only halted as long as the deal is still standing.

"Okay, so why are you here?" Kuina asks him, and Zoro looks at her in confusion.

"They brought me here." Zoro says, they'd already covered that.

"I know, but why are you _still_ here? You didn't ask me to come pick you up, you asked me to come talk to you. You haven't asked to leave. If I had friends who kidnapped me, drugged me, interrogated me and tried to murder someone I love I'd be out of there so fast." She says with a frown.

Zoro feels his instinctive protectiveness over his friends well up. He hates people speaking badly of them and defending them from people is just habit by now, so he opens his mouth without thinking to say something, anything, to get her to back off.

"You don't have any friends." He says immediately and regrets it almost as soon after.

"True, but I don't think you do either." Kuina says back, and Zoro shuts his mouth.

Yeah, she may be right.

He rubs the mark on his arm where one of Choppers needles went in to take his blood. Blood that they stole from him to use to trap and kill Sanji. He squeezes his eyes shut. He's always said that he would do anything for his friends, but would he really? Would he do _this_? If he had found out that Usopp was dating a demon would he kidnap him, drug him, interrogate him, try to murder that demon and also steal Usopp's blood to do it?

He wants to say yes, but he's not sure.

"They think I'm mind controlled. And it's an impossible argument for me to win." Zoro says, even though Kuina didn't ask.

"Because… I might not know if I was and even if I did I likely wouldn't be able to say so. And if they caught Sanji and asked him about it then it's not like he'd…" Zoro sighs.

"Real Scooby-Doo investigators that lot, like he'd just shake his fist and go 'I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!'" Kuina says, parroting the voice from the Saturday morning cartoons they used to watch. Zoro snorts in amusement.

"We've been taught about mind control. People make mind control traps in rooms, and lots of magical animals have the basic 'walk into my mouth and be eaten' kind. They tell us to get the person away from the thing causing the mind control and either work out how to break it or let it wear off. So I don't… I don't mind the kidnapping." Zoro says uneasily.

Kuina stares judgementally at him, and her silence feels every bit like a smack to the back of the head.

"I mostly don't mind the kidnapping. If they'd said that they wanted to observe me and keep me away from him for a while to be sure I was clean I'd understand that. I'd probably do the same. I would have agreed to that." Zoro amends.

"From what you said they didn't ask at all, though." Kuina points out, and Zoro nods.

"I could forgive that, though. People panic." Zoro tells her, and he can see the way she starts to frown.

"And the rest of what they did, can you forgive that?" Kuina presses him.

Zoro curls in on himself. He doesn't _know_. They're his friends, they have been for years, he loves them. But…

"Oh, Zoro." Kuina says softly and reaches over, wrapping her arms around him. Her movements jolt him, and it's only then that he realises that he'd been silently crying without realising it. It's been a long time since his sister held him when he cried, not since before he was a teenager.

"You don't have to go back to your place, not right away. You can come home with me." She tells him softly.

"I can't leave Sanji with them." Zoro answers, his voice going all stupidly tight from crying. He feels foolish for it.

"He can come too." She says kindly.

"No he can't, he's not allowed to be away from them without their permission or supervision. It's part of the deal that he made with them. It's the same deal that stops them telling people about what he is. If he comes with and breaks the deal, then they'll tell one of the teachers at school, and I could get kicked out if not arrested and Sanji could get murdered." Zoro says, shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes.

"Well, they told me what he is." Kuina points out as she sits back.

Zoro blinks at her dumbly for a moment. He didn't consider that. He runs the text of the world's most loosely worded deal through his head again and figures out the loophole.

"That's… probably because you already knew lots about him. The thing is so badly written that it's an easy interpretation. I guess they were trying to test it for flaws, but I don't think they'll be able to use that on other people." Zoro guesses.

"This sounds pretty suspect, Zoro." Kuina says disapprovingly. She might not like magic much but even more than that she dislikes people doing a poor job.

"Well, Sanji made it to be like the magical equivalent of trick handcuffs. Convincing but he can escape whenever he really needs to." Zoro explains.

"Then why doesn't he do that, then?" she asks, and Zoro slides down on the bed despairingly.

"Because then they can rat him out and we're back to the problem of expulsion, jail and death from before. I think he had it planned in a 'you killed Zoro, prepare to die' kind of way." He says and rubs at his eyes. He's pretty sure he's just making them redder now.

"What an ego on that boy, he should know he's behind me in line if something like that happens!" Kuina says, her voice deadly serious.

"Good to see you focusing on the important things, sis." Zoro sighs.

"So, let me get this straight then. He can't go because if he does they'll blab and try to ruin or end your lives, you're not going because I'm guessing you don't trust them not to welch around this deal in some way and hurt him. Which means that you're both stuck here?" Kuina says, running through the entire mess in one go. How did everything end up like this?

"And I can't go to school and leave him alone either, they could come back in secret when I'm in class." Zoro adds.

"I'll make the school send your work home." His sister says firmly.

"I'm an adult now, remember? You can't make the school do anything." Zoro points out.

Kuina stares at him flatly and unimpressed. The Arch-Mage of Zoro's school and the university is a huge bear of a man who was the first mage to discover the Canadian Ice Dragon, which he did by chasing it across an icy tundra and punching it into submission. His philosophy on hostile forces sits somewhere between the Steve Irwin 'wrestle it for its own good and my learning' and the Wolverine method of 'murder with great prejudice'. Zoro looks at his sister, the woman who has never let anyone or anything stand in her way. Kuina looks at obstacles in her life like a game of chicken that she never backs down from, everything gets out of her way. So between her and the Arch-Mage, well, Zoro would probably have his money on his sister, but he wouldn't like to be nearby at the time.

"Well, I'm going to go. If you need me, then call me. I'm just going to talk to the others on the way out." Kuina says, standing up and straightening out her clothes.

"Okay, I'm sorry about all of this." Zoro says as he gets up to follow her, he doesn't want her around everyone else without him there to see.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Zoro." She tells him, hugging him tightly for a second and then opening the bedroom door.

They find Sanji halfway down the stairs, glaring down the hallway below him. His tail is flicking angrily from one side to the other, and Zoro can't help but be reminded of a pissed off house cat. The demon looks up at the sound of their approaching footsteps and seems to lighten up.

"I wasn't listening, I'm just guarding to make sure _they_ don't sneak back up here to listen again. They tried more than- have you been crying?" Sanji suddenly asks, his speech derailing at the end.

"I'm fine." Zoro says, looking away.

"I can smell the salt on your skin from here. So unless you broke out in a cold sweat just on your cheeks, that's what it is. Argh, I keep thinking I can't hate them more and yet here we are!" Sanji snarls furiously.

"Sanji, I need you to do something for me." Kuina says, walking towards the man.

"I- sure, I'll try. What is it?" Sanji says, his anger suddenly dropping as he looks at Kuina in surprise.

"It was your phone that Zoro called me from, yes?" Kuina asks, and Sanji nods.

"Well now you have my number, I want you to update me on everything that happens in this house and with Zoro. I'll be around when I can, but I need you to be my eyes and ears and tell me if I need to drop what I'm doing and get over here now." Kuina tells him.

"Absolutely! You can count on me!" Sanji beams.

"I am right here. I can look after myself, this recent thing was an exception." Zoro protests indignantly. He's not some fairy-tale damsel that needs to be saved.

"What about the thing with Usopp?" Sanji asks, the treacherous bastard.

"Or that time you got bit by a dragon? Or the time you thought that sitting under an icy waterfall was training and you got pneumonia?" Kuina asks.

"The dragon thing wasn't my fault, and the waterfall was training!" Zoro argues.

"You know that's not how you get frost resistance, right?" Sanji says, squinting his eyes at Zoro.

"Or when you first met Brook he startled you so much that you fell off a cliff and got attacked by a bear." Kuina adds.

"Hey, hey! I defended myself from that bear and wasn't hurt, and I got back up the cliff by making a makeshift broom. Nothing was wrong with that!" Zoro argues back.

"You turned it into a bunny and then lost it and never saw it again. I'm not sure if I hope that spell wore off or not. And you got a point on your licence for that flying stunt!" she says smugly.

"Or that time you nearly burnt your room down practising? I could still see the scorch marks!" She adds, gesturing to the room they just left.

"It was a small fire, don't make a big deal of it." Zoro groans.

"Holy fuck, Zoro can you at least try to reach thirty years old? Is that… is that too much to ask?" Sanji whines, clearly he's worried about their mutual lifespan.

"Oh, don't worry. If he dies, I'm hunting his soul down from wherever it's gone and dragging him back here and then you'll really be in trouble." Kuina warns him.

"I get that impression. Weren't you leaving?" Zoro asks her pointedly and shoves her shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah." Kuina waves at him dismissively and heads down the stairs.

Sanji and Zoro follow her, but when Kuina walks into the main room Zoro hangs back with Sanji lingering at his side curiously.

"Kuina, is he okay?" Zoro can hear Luffy ask.

"What do you care?" Kuina asks flatly.

"He's my friend!" Luffy argues, and Zoro feels something sick coil in his gut. He backs up a little and bumps into Sanji's chest.

"Well, you're bad at it then. Listen up, all of you. I have a class to teach in an hour, and at 9 am tomorrow morning I'm going to Zoro's place to pick things up for him to bring here. When I get there I had better not find any evidence of what you all did to him, I don't want him going back there for something at any point and being reminded of it. You made this mess, you fix it." Kuina says sternly.

"We were trying to save him Kuina. He's still in danger, I know you don't understand magic so-" Robin begins to explain.

"I don't care. You hurt my brother again, and I will end all of you. I have a lot of sharp swords and a good deal of free time." Kuina snarls.

"Yeah, but… Kuina. Think about it. We have magic, and you don't and there's seven of us and just one of- OW!" Usopp's voice is cut off by a meaty thud and him yelping like a startled seal.

"Next time I'll have a sword." Kuina says meanly, and Zoro hears the front door open and shut.

"I like your sister." Sanji whispers playfully in Zoro's ear. Zoro sighs and walks off back to his room, he doesn't want to talk to the others or hear Usopp's whining about his face or about how his sister has some supernaturally quick punch that he could have blocked if he really wanted to, honest.

He goes back up to his old room and falls face down on the bed. He is still tired and drained in more ways than one, and he just wants to sleep. Sanji follows him silently and settles comfortably on a rug and starts reading a book that he pulled out of thin air. He's pleased at least that Sanji knows him well enough to know when he doesn't want to talk.

His peace lasts for all of five minutes before a sharp-knuckled rapping sounds on his door. Zoro doesn't even look up from his position of being face down on the bed, but he hears Sanji hiss.

"Go away, he doesn't want you here, and neither do I." Sanji says.

"Leave me alone, Brook." Zoro agrees. He can always tell when it's Brook, all that bare bone makes distinctive sounds.

"I come in peace, or I suppose pieces if you were really dedicated. Yohohohoho!" Brook laughs, Zoro can't help but think that it sounds forced. He rolls over and props himself up on one elbow to look at Brook.

"I just wanted to talk to both of you, ask some questions." Brook adds hopefully.

"Like he said, I don't want to talk to you." Zoro repeats and Brook nods.

"Then, I guess I shall go." Brook says solemnly and actually turns to walk away.

"Wait, are you seriously leaving?" Zoro asks, sitting all the way up and looking at the doorway in surprise until Brook takes a couple of steps back into it.

"You wanted me to, right?" Brook says.

"Well, yeah, but it's not like any of you have listened to what I want, or to me saying no lately." Zoro points out. Brook nods and rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly, it sounds like someone assaulting a xylophone with a comb.

"That's true, and it was why I wanted to talk to you." Brook tells him, and Zoro feels himself weaken.

"Well, okay then. Talk." Zoro says.

"Seriously? He did nothing when you were laid there dying in that circle!" Sanji says in disapproving horror.

"Not my finest moment, but I didn't know what else to do. The last thing I wanted to do was make it worse." Brook replies and comes into the room and leans against the wall.

"I wanted to ask you a couple of weird questions." Brook says, tapping his boney finger on his arm.

"All of your questions are weird questions." Zoro snorts. Brook is one of the weirdest people that he knows.

"Where's your favourite place in the world?" Brook asks suddenly.

Zoro thinks for a while. His home is nice, but it's just the place he lives. The library is nice, but it feels a little tainted from being kidnapped there. He thinks of Kuina's home, of sharing drinks together there, the smell of sweat in the dojo, the feeling of plucking splinters from his hand after shattering a practice sword in a fight with her. That's home, that's somewhere he loves.

"My sister's house and the dojo." Zoro answers confidently.

"I'd like to see one of these matches of yours with her." Sanji says with a cheeky grin.

"You mean you want to see me lose." Zoro replies somewhat bitterly.

"Next question, ice cream: chocolate or green tea?" Brook asks, holding up a finger.

"Blech, green tea." Zoro answers with a wince.

"You monster, chocolate is the best thing ever!" Sanji gasps in outrage.

"All the more for you then." Zoro points out, and Sanji still looks sulky.

"Hmm… interesting. I believe that I owe you an apology, Zoro." Brook says gravely.

"Why? For starting an argument about ice cream that I may well never hear the end of?" Zoro asks, raising an eyebrow at the lich.

"No, I wish to apologise about all that I did. We genuinely thought that you were under mind control. It was so strange to think of an incubus being romantically involved with a human, let alone one who doesn't have sex, that we feared the worst. The fact that you tried to run away to talk to him screamed mind control to me." Brook says regretfully.

"You see, I have used mind control on people before. To ward them away or to bring them closer. Sometimes to get people to unlock the layers of my cage from the outside in, this was before you all found me of course. And I can say that true mind control is difficult, especially when the victim is away from the person controlling." Brook explains.

"You thought he was getting further instructions from me or something." Sanji guesses and Brook nods.

"The only obvious course of action, besides calling an authority figure was to remove you from his influence. We tried but couldn't find any obvious mental strings on you, so the only place we could think to go from there was to summon him directly, we were prepared for him to not let us live if we let him escape. I suppose we thought that we would rather Sanji die than you." Brook continues.

"All the steps seemed to be reasonable, like walking into the sea but at the end, I was in over my head. I don't think you're being controlled, Zoro. No control is this good and just because I don't understand what's going on doesn't mean I was right. I'm… I'm sorry." Brook says sadly, hanging his head in shame.

Zoro's eyes widen. He hadn't expected this. Were the questions to cover topics that whatever theoretical mind control would never have thought to have covered? He seems so sincere. Zoro can understand how he got into this situation, panic and love can do strange things to people.

"It's o-" Zoro cuts himself off. It's not okay what they did to him. But still…

"I forgive you." Zoro amends and Brook's head snaps up.

"Really?" Brook asks in surprise.

"REALLY?!" Sanji squawks in alarm.

"Really." Zoro says with a nod.

Brook's eye sockets well over with tears, running and dripping down his skull with great vigour. It used to really weird Zoro out, because there's nowhere those tears have come from. They're magic. But since however long it's been since Brook was alive he's forgotten how much is a normal amount of tears, and so he cries in volumes that are entirely unrealistic.

"Thank you Zoro, I hope I can try to make amends in the future. Starting with this, you're supposed to be under watch with us, and at least for my watch I'll give you two your own space. You don't want me sat in here with you all night, and I'm only down the hall, if someone comes to check I'll just say that I was getting something from my room." Brook says.

"Are they seriously intending on keeping us under constant watch?" Sanji asks in disbelief.

"Very serious. I'll do my part to try to talk them out of it in future and try to get the others to see your… relationship for what it is." Brook answers.

"This is a mess." Zoro groans and rubs his face with his hands.

"Sanji, I owe you a personal apology too. You were right, I do know what it is like to be judged for what you are. I never meant to do it to someone else. I apologise for my part in what we did to Zoro and you." Brook apologises again, bowing slightly at Sanji.

"I'm not going to forgive you just because you said sorry, anyone can say that, it's just words. I want to see what you do after. But, all the same, I appreciate it." Sanji says grudgingly and then pointedly goes back to reading.

"Well then, I shall take my leave. Zoro, I hope you feel better." Brook tells him with a nod and, though his face doesn't change, Zoro gets the impression of a smile. Brook leaves and closes the door behind him.

Zoro feels a small hopeful smile crawl onto his face. Maybe he wasn't totally wrong about his friends, they did a terrible thing, but if Brook has changed his mind, then the rest may do too. A small fire of hope kindles in his chest.

"You're too nice." Sanji sighs and turns a page.

"You don't complain when I'm nice to you." Zoro points out.

"Why would I ever do that?" Sanji grins wickedly.

They kill the rest of the evening in a calm fashion. Zoro reads one of his old abandoned textbooks for fun and Sanji reads him something from his book which turns out to be some hilarious bodice ripper of a novel. Eventually, though Zoro has to call time on the improbable eight pack of the fictional Lorenzo because he fears that he'll fall asleep.

Zoro thankfully keeps a set of pyjamas and clean underwear at Kaya's house in case he ever stays over, he hadn't ever had the forethought of leaving clean jeans and a shirt, so he's out of luck there. He changes awkwardly in the corner of his room but Sanji is entirely unphased and simply continue reading the part of the book that he had got up to on his own. Zoro supposes that if you see as many naked people as Sanji has, then it stops being interesting.

It is in fact only when he climbs under the covers of his bed that Sanji looks uneasy.

"Do you want me to go?" Sanji asks warily.

Zoro shifts onto his side, his hand halfway to the lamp at his bedside and looks at the demon. He's hesitant and unsure all over again.

"Don't you need to sleep too? You were drifting off earlier on the roof." Zoro says quietly.

"Yeah, but-" Sanji mumbles and rapidly starts to turn red. "I didn't mean to, and it's not like you'd necessarily want me to-"

"Just get up here, dumbass." Zoro sighs.

Sanji looks at him with wide eyes for a few seconds and then leaps straight from the floor onto Zoro's bed, landing on all fours almost like a cat. He squirms under the sheets and practically laminates himself to Zoro's side. He laughs and turns off the light, pulling his arms around Sanji securely and feeling himself relax into sleep.

He's not really used to sleeping with other people, so he finds his sleep a little restless. Every time Sanji moves more than a little Zoro is roused to the edge of wakefulness and has to get to sleep all over again. Eventually, though, when it's properly dark outside, Sanji is moving enough for Zoro to be properly awoken.

He blinks hazily as he makes out Sanji's figure on the bed, illuminated by nothing but starlight and a glow of red on his eyelids. He is crouched on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor and his tail is flicking rapidly from one side to another. It reminds Zoro vaguely of a cat watching birds.

"Sanji? What's wrong?" He croaks, his voice still thick from sleep.

Sanji turns his head slightly in Zoro's direction but doesn't break his gaze from the floor. Zoro leans over the edge of the bed and sees nothing but floor and rug.

"Sanji?" Zoro asks again.

"Your friends are making me hungry." Sanji says slowly, his tail still swishing.

Zoro's brain rolls the word hungry around in confusion. At least until he hears a muffled squeaking of springs from downstairs and a quiet moan. Oh yeah, his room here is above Robin's, and she and Franky are- yeah.

"Can you see through the floor to them or something?" Zoro asks.

"Not see exactly. It's hard to describe." Sanji answers in a clipped tone, this is really getting to him. Zoro supposes that Sanji has never been near two humans having sex without him being involved and getting fed at the end.

"Is it bothering you?" he asks warily, unsure about if he should reach out and touch Sanji or not.

"How about you don't eat for five days and then watch two people have a food fight in the next room over and tell me how you feel about it." Sanji snaps and Zoro winces.

Evidently, something of Zoro's reaction must seep through to Sanji, or else he thinks about what he just says and regrets it.

"I didn't mean that." Sanji says urgently, actually looking at Zoro now.

"It's been five days since you ate?" Zoro asks, ignoring Sanji's unneeded apology.

"I've gone longer, I'm fine Zoro. It's just distracting is all." Sanji answers calmly, and Zoro sees his head tilt slightly to look through the floor at Robin and Franky again.

"Would human food help? No one will be in the kitchen at this time I don't think." Zoro offers, pulling the blankets off of himself. Sanji moves over to him and pushes him back down, pinning the blankets on top of him.

"No, you need to sleep. Besides, human food doesn't really have what I need. It might take the edge off, and I'll probably eat when you do, but it's not enough help to warrant you getting up right now. When I was a kid I survived for months without any food, I can handle this." Sanji assures him.

"But surely you didn't know as much magic then, you've been doing loads of magic here. Fighting that circle, making deals, protecting me; not to mention your glamour and any healing you might have done to me when I was out. Isn't that going to cut down the time that you can last? How much time do you really have left?" Zoro questions him.

Zoro hears a muffled cry from the room below him and hears the tearing of cotton near his ear as at least one of Sanji's razor sharp nails cuts through the fabric. Sanji inhales shakily and says nothing, Zoro wishes that he could see more of his face, but it's too dark in here.

"Sanji?" Zoro prompts and tugs on the magical threads of Sanji's true name, a jerk of the thread to the man's soul to make him pay attention.

"I'm not in danger, I'd say if I was." Sanji assures him.

Zoro shimmies up under the blankets that Sanji his him pinned under, enough so that he can lean up on his elbows.

"Isn't there anything I can do? Like before when you were trapped up here, and I sold you a kiss?" Zoro whispers and the tip of his nose brushes Sanji's.

"That's different, I just needed some of your life force to get home. I'm not stuck here because of that, I'm stuck here because of a deal I made and not a job gone wrong." Sanji tells him.

"But isn't life force what you eat? Won't it still feed you?" Zoro presses, he's getting a distinct impression here that Sanji is evading him.

"I thought you were good at this deals thing, don't you think that taking time off your life counts as harm?" Sanji tuts and presses his forehead to Zoro's.

"Not if I consent, which I do." Zoro insists and leans up to kiss Sanji full on the lips. Maybe he can tempt Sanji into what he really needs. How ironic, the human tempting the shy incubus.

"The deal isn't about what you agree to, it's what the rest of us think is harm. I would have included your voice in the deal if you'd been awake, but you were passed out and on the verge of death. I made do with what I had." Sanji says apologetically.

"What if they don't find out?" Zoro says hopefully, though he can already sense that it's a lost cause.

"Yeah, they have real respect for the sanctity of your mind. They wouldn't weasel that information out of you faster than a fire imp in a bucket of ice." Sanji snorts derisively. Zoro wonders for a second how Sanji gets ice in hell, is that just an expression or do they import it from somewhere. He imagines the potential that it's not climate change destroying the ice caps but demons running bars and stealing the ice.

"Besides, it's not exactly in the form that I need to sustain me." Sanji purrs in Zoro's ear, cutting him off from his stupid thoughts.

It takes a second or two for Zoro to catch Sanji's meaning. He means that he needs to have Zoro's life force in the form of sex for it to count as food. Zoro supposes that it makes sense, Zoro needs to put food in his mouth to eat and having contact with it in other ways doesn't work. Maybe Zoro's kiss from before was like Sanji just holding that energy.

He could… he could have sex with Sanji if they agreed that it'd be a nonfatal amount of life force taken. Sanji is starving, and it's Zoro's fault, so it's his responsibility to help him out, right? He could… He's getting a tight, anxious feel in his insides, and not the good excited kind. It's more like the feeling that he might throw up.

"Exactly." Sanji says gently and kisses Zoro's cheek. He's supposed to be able to sense how into him people are, right? That's why he so confused Sanji when they first met. So perhaps he can sense negative numbers on that scale, because that's what Zoro is feeling right now.

"I'll be fine Zoro, your concern is sweet, but for now I can stay on Earth just fine. I'd never ask that of you, even if it kills me." Sanji swears and leans back. Zoro can see the dim glow of his eyes in the darkness.

"That's what I'm worried about." Zoro says quietly.

"I'm far tougher than you think, I could just do without those two taunting me." Sanji laughs softly and settles down at Zoro's side again.

Zoro tries to sleep, and he does eventually manage it, but his worries about Sanji's health make it hard for any of that sleep to be truly restful.


	14. Chapter 14

Sanji essentially becomes Zoro's personal shadow and one of the rest of Zoro's "friends" becomes his. No one trusts anyone. His so called friends don't trust Sanji around Zoro alone, Sanji doesn't trust them around Zoro alone and Zoro doesn't trust them around him.

Needless to say that breakfast the next morning has everyone sitting around the breakfast table watching each other, or more accurately everyone else is watching him and Zoro. Zoro is holding himself stiffly and trying not to pay attention to it, but even with his back to the group and spreading something on two plates worth of toast Sanji can see that he's tense.

"I can't believe Kuina made us clean all that stuff last night, my hands hurt." Luffy whines, flexing his fingers unhappily.

"Well it's called permanent marker for a reason." Franky explains.

Sanji watches with interest the way a strand of muscle in Zoro's arm stands out as he grips the blunt knife harder, his face is neutral but he is actually angry.

"It was your mess, you should have to clean it." Sanji says tartly.

"We had every right to-" Usopp starts to protests but is cut off by a loud metallic clang. Sanji's head whips around to see that Zoro has thrown the blunt butter knife into the sink with some speed and force and it's lodged itself in the drain cover and is now vibrating with a twangy hum.

Zoro turns around, two plates of toast in hand and sets them in front of Sanji and the empty place that Zoro will take.

"Try them both, pick whichever you like more. I don't mind either. Do you want coffee?" Zoro asks tensely.

"Ah… only if you were already going to make some. I don't want to put you out of your way." Sanji answers gently.

"I was. Black?" Zoro guesses and Sanji nods.

"I'll have a coffee as well Zoro if you're making it." Robin calls from her place at the table. Sanji watches Zoro take down just two mugs and suspects that he's not making coffee for just Sanji and Robin.

"Where's Kaya?" Zoro asks, not looking up from the mugs at all.

"At work, she's mad at me because I can't tell her who _he_ is or why he's here. It also makes explaining why any of this is happening impossible." Usopp grumbles and glares at Sanji.

"My heart bleeds for you." Sanji snorts. The kettle clicks and Zoro pours the boiling water into two mugs and then sets them on the table. Zoro settles down in his seat around the corner from Sanji, his knees are brushing the demon's on one side and Brook's long boney knees are taking up most of the other side. At least on this end of the table Sanji is surrounded by people not trying to kill him.

Sanji picks up the coffee cup and drinks immediately. Zoro gasps in alarm and then relaxes. Sanji looks at him skeptically as he drinks half of the mug of boiling coffee. He sets it down and looks at Zoro.

"Did you just try to warn me that was hot? You know where I live, Zoro." Sanji teases.

"Shut up, I haven't had my coffee yet either." Zoro grumbles and bites into his toast, there's the slightest hint of a blush high on his cheeks.

"Luffy, what's the plan for today?" Nami asks brightly.

"I'm not going to school, I'm not leaving Sanji alone with any of you." Zoro interrupts, though he doesn't look up from his food.

"I figured that you might say that. But I've got all of our schedules here so if we set up a teleportation spell in Robin's office we should all be able to cover the house in our free periods." Nami says, unfolding a piece of paper and setting it on the table.

"I can also just bring my books here and work from here, if I need to go back to the library for anything I can. Other than that I can stay here whenever." Robin offers.

"Excellent." Nami nods.

Zoro is still not saying anything. He picks up his toast and takes a bite.

"What about the actual… plan?" Luffy says with some emphasis, shooting a look at Sanji.

"That's more Chopper's area of expertise." Nami answers.

"I have a lot in mind for Zoro, but I don't know about Sanji." Chopper says brightly.

"If you think I'm letting you touch me again you're out of your goddamn mind." Zoro says coldly and Chopper stares at Zoro with wide startled eyes.

"Well, before we get into that horrifying conversation I have a question." Sanji pipes up and the whole table looks at him.

"I'm not telling you anything!" Usopp declares loudly.

"Fabulous, a way to shut you up. No, my question was for Robin and Franky." Sanji explains and he can see the light bulb of understanding go off above Zoro's head.

"So were you deliberately trying to make me hungry last night in the hope that I'd snap and turn on Zoro and you could then kill me or were you just being stupid? Because using Zoro as bait is a whole new low in your already deep pit of poor choices." Sanji asks.

The thought had been churning around in his mind since last night, did they know? Didn't they? Did they figure that it was like blood in the water for him and he could just override Zoro's consent, which he couldn't and even if he could he wouldn't.

"What are you… oh." Franky says, his eyes going wide as he realises. Accident then. What idiots.

"You were _watching_?" Robin demands in a horrified shriek.

"Watching what?" Usopp questions, looking at the pair.

"I hardly had a choice, the two of you may as well have been in the same room. You may as well have been in the same bed." Sanji snorts.

"Oh." Nami gasps as she catches up to what happened.

"You creep!" Robin snarls, her face red with either embarrassment or anger. She raises her hand and runes coil up and down her arm as she formulates a spell to throw at him.

Half of the table yells 'no!' at her and Franky pulls her arm up and away from Sanji's direction as Sanji smiles on smugly. That wouldn't have hurt him but boy would it have set him free.

"Don't bait them." Zoro says quietly to him.

"It wasn't my intention, it's still funny though." Sanji grins.

"I want my bag back too, with my wand and my sword in it as well." Zoro adds, finally looking up from his food to the rest of the group.

"Zoro, no. Letting you do magic in your current state is-" Robin begins to explain but Zoro stands up suddenly, knocking his chair behind him and slamming his hands on the table.

"I'm not listening to this. It was one thing when you were all startled and scared, it was horrible but I could at least… panic is tough. But this is something I can't deal with. I don't want to hear anything from any of you that isn't begging for forgiveness from me and Sanji both." Zoro snarls.

"Zoro, we're just trying to help you because we love you." Usopp insists.

"Wow, do you mean the time you fucked up on an assignment and nearly tortured me to death, saved only by Sanji healing me at the last moment. Or do you mean the time you broke my trust, kidnapped me and tried to murder my boyfriend? I can't keep all the times you've been helpful straight, seeing as they usually end with me on the verge of death. God, I'd hate to see what you do to people that you don't like!" Zoro shouts at him. Sanji stares and vaguely wishes that he had popcorn. Usopp looks like he might cry, Sanji couldn't be more pleased about that.

"Hey, leave Usopp alone!" Luffy shouts, also getting to his feet.

"I'm not doing this. Just tell me when Kuina gets here with my stuff." Zoro groans and walks off.

"OI!" Luffy yells, leaping the table and running after Zoro. He grabs him by the shoulder and jerks him back. Sanji is already half out of his seat when Zoro turns to face him.

"That's starting to _hurt_." Zoro hisses and Sanji feels the ring in his left horn hum warningly as the deal wavers, edging them all closer to all bets being off. Luffy's ring evidently does the same, his is banded around one bicep. The kid is smart enough to know what Zoro means and lets go of him immediately.

"You know, I should be _thanking_ you. Without you I'd never have met Sanji at all." Zoro says lowly, advancing on Luffy.

"What're you talking about?" Luffy says, backing up.

"Oh, none of you geniuses thought to wonder how Sanji and I met in the first place? I sure as shit didn't summon an incubus unprompted on my own. Why would I? No, I got him thanks to you." Zoro says, jabbing his finger in Luffy's chest.

"I didn't summon him!" Luffy argues, still backing up.

"No, your deranged stalker did. The girl who won't take no for an answer and threatened any of us who tried to keep you two apart. I knew that if I left her alone she'd either force you into something terrible or go full yandere on us. I tried to keep her away from you and she tried to murder me by siccing Sanji on me. Only it didn't work." Zoro hisses at him.

"And you know what, even after that I still had your goddamn back because she wasn't backing down. I had to blackmail her with her failed murder attempt to get her to back down because I thought we were friends." Zoro says and at least here Sanji can hear the hurt in Zoro's voice, even though he's trying to keep it contained.

"Zoro, we are friends." Luffy insists desperately.

"No we're not." Zoro mumbles and walks off. This time no one stops him.

Sanji runs his tongue across his sharp teeth and sighs, he's pretty sure that Zoro wants to be alone right now. He's being followed everywhere in this house when he's with Sanji so he likely just wants to sit and be angry.

"Just the monsters left at the table then." Sanji says airily and drinks the last of his coffee.

"We're not monsters, you are." Usopp snaps, glaring at Sanji from across the table.

"Sure, I'm a monster because I kill people." Sanji sighs, leaning his head back.

"But I gotta eat, if I don't do my job I die. Hardly a choice. And it's not like we're just running amok up here, humans summon us of their own free will. So fine, I'm a monster but at least I don't make it personal." Sanji says, looking at them all.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin demands, frowning disapprovingly at Sanji.

"Well I kill people because I have to in order to live. But civilised people like you just befriend a guy, make him love you and then when he does something you don't approve of you fuck his brain. Sirens used to use that power of yours to mind control people to their deaths so that they could eat, but not you. You do the far more humane thing and keep him captive, rummage around in his brain without his consent, make him tell you things he doesn't want to tell you. That's so much better." Sanji says silkily.

"And then doctor violates goodness knows how many oaths to drug him without his consent. You know, the only difference between torture and medical practice is that the patient agrees to it. See, even monsters like me know that. I can whip someone all night but only if they ask me to, otherwise I can't. Consent. It's like… real fuckin simple." Sanji snorts.

"But see, my theory is that you're all monsters. I don't just mean for what you've done, though there is that. No you're monsters for the non human halves of you. Humans used to tell horror stories about your kinds but now you're in the light insisting that you're not that bad. That just because you're part harpy doesn't mean you're a _real_ monster, not like a demon. You've gotta have someone who's still evil down to the bones, someone to claim you're better than." Sanji laughs.

"You are worse than me, I've never killed anyone." Nami says furiously.

"But you want to, don't you? I mean you leapt at trying to kill me and I'd never met you. So I'm just trying to imagine what you feel about the other students who pick on you. Don't you feel like sinking your claws into them and showing them just what you really are?" Sanji purrs. He can physically feel Nami's anger rising and he can see her arms shifting from human to wings and if he's not much mistaken that's claws he can hear scraping the floor.

"Nami! Don't give him the satisfaction!" Robin chides her.

"You're not better than me, but you all just tortured Zoro to try to prove that you are and you have the gall to keep saying that you were right to do it, straight to his face." Sanji sneers and stands up. He picks up Zoro's full coffee cup and walks out of the room, leaving the rest of them to deal with that bombshell.

Sanji hopes that they apologise to Zoro. Not because he wants them to be friends again, because goodness knows he doesn't. He just thinks that it might make Zoro feel a little better.

Sanji walks along the hallway with a smile on his face, this isn't the burning of mortals that he's used to but he'll take it. Sanji doesn't know why demons get such a bad rap, for the most part they just punish bad people or those greedy enough to want something for nothing. Sanji's in the latter department, no one gets his talented body into bed without paying for it. Oh, people try to make wards or talismans that'll keep their souls safe but Sanji has never lost to those and he always gets his prize. In fact the only time he was ever summoned by a human and not collected a soul was Zoro.

Zoro's so much more than a job now, though. Sanji wants to make him happy in any way we can, but right now all Sanji can bring him is his coffee.

Although, perhaps he can do more.

He pauses in the hallway, well out of sight of the others. This will take a little magic and he should probably conserve what he has as he doesn't know how long it'll be until he's released from this deal and is allowed to eat again. But finding Zoro's bag with his wand and sword in it will make him happy and Sanji would risk a little hunger just to see Zoro smile.

He holds up the coffee mug before him and shifts his grip on it so that he's holding it by the top. Sanji then quietly whispers an incantation, focusing on how Zoro held the mug when he delivered it to him. The rest of the world around of him fades into black and white as the handle of the mug lights up in a brilliant lime green. Sanji can even see Zoro's distinct thumbprint, excellent.

Sanji looks up and sees a green mist winding through the air and green footprints on the hallway carpet and up the stairs. Now all Sanji has to do is to look around the house and find the neon green backpack and he's a winner. He starts with the door nearest him but pauses with his hand on the handle. His skin is green all over. Here and there the green has breaks in it enough to see the green shadows of Zoro's fingers. Sanji lifts up his shirt to see a few distinct arm shaped smears of green and fingers tight on Sanji's hip. Zoro must have cuddled him in the night when they were both sleeping, he could practically scream with joy but he won't as he doesn't want to be caught snooping.

The first room is a small library and a quick inspection reveals no backpack. The next is storage, still no backpack. Under the stairs is suitcases and no backpack. The next floor up is a plethora of bedrooms. Like Zoro's these have a few nick-knacks still in them but by and large the rooms are sparse from where their occupants moved out some time ago. He makes a guess that the room with a machine oil smell is Franky's room, but there's no bag there. The next three rooms turn up nothing and Sanji is starting to lose hope until he finds the room where all of the furniture is smaller. There's a smaller bed, a lower desk and chair and there's fur on the floor. Chopper lives here. Most damning of all is Zoro's bag tucked casually under the desk, radioactively green. Sanji reaches under and grabs it, he shuts the door behind him and hightails it up to Zoro's room. He drops the spell before he gets there, looking at Zoro would be eye searing with that spell and he doesn't feel like getting a migraine for no reason.

"It's me." Sanji announces himself as he shoulders the door open carefully. He doesn't want Zoro to think that he's one of the others and then just slam it on it and spill all this coffee. Sanji also is wary of getting coffee inside Zoro's bag. Seeing as the man has got a whole sword in there as well as a bunch of other shit Sanji knows that he's enchanted it to be bigger on the inside than the outside and sometimes those spells don't play nice with liquids.

"Hi me." Zoro replies flatly. He's got his back to Sanji and is leaning out of his big circular window again, perhaps keeping an eye out for his sister. Zoro didn't even turn around when he came in.

Sanji shuts the door behind him and walks over to Zoro. He reaches around him and holds the coffee cup out.

"Brought you a few things." Sanji says quietly.

"Hey, thanks." Zoro smiles softly and takes the mug. He then nearly drops it when he turns around and sees his bag hanging from Sanji's hand.

"Where did you find that?" He gasps, taking it back from Sanji.

"In Chopper's room. I know you wanted your stuff back and it creeps me out to think of them all pawing through it." Sanji says.

"Agreed." Zoro nods and places his coffee cup on the chest of drawers and kneels down and rifles through his bag, pulling out all kinds of things. Books, papers, pens, his sword, his wand and also his broomstick. Sanji is pretty sure that Zoro's still got more crap in there that he's probably forgotten about but he's hardly going to encourage Zoro to clutter up their small shared room more than he already has.

"It feels so good to have this back." Zoro sighs happily, his sword in one hand and his wand in the other.

"Which one?" Sanji asks curiously.

"I meant the wand but I hate not knowing where my sword is, it's a family heirloom. I don't know what I'd do if I lost it for good." Zoro tells him, his mouth pulling down in a small frown at the mere thought.

"Well hopefully that won't happen." Sanji says.

Zoro looks at his wand thoughtfully and then at the door to his room.

"Are you trying to lock everyone else out?" Sanji guesses.

"Thinking about it. The problem is that I'm not smarter at that than all of them put together and they'd just leap to the conclusion that you'd made me do it so you could... I don't know, murder me and suck the marrow from my bones or something." Zoro says with a sad sigh.

"I don't think that's what they're worried about me sucking, Zoro." Sanji smirks.

"Ugh, thanks for that." Zoro says, trying to act annoyed but Sanji knows him well enough by now to see the small quirk in his lips of a suppressed smile.

"You're so welcome." Sanji says in his best formal voice and that makes Zoro laugh, Sanji knew he was just pretending!

"I was thinking about casting a spell that'd hurt me if they broke it and letting them know about it, that way they couldn't get in without voiding the deal. But I don't think that's a good idea." Zoro sighs, his mirth falling away from him.

"It sounds like setting up an ambush to me, especially when it's a group of people who want to try to kill me." Sanji agrees with a sigh.

Zoro sits down on his bed and idly moves his wand through the air, tracing green swirls of light and fractal patterns that look like radioactive snowflakes.

"What even is our plan here?" Zoro asks, looking up at Sanji.

"My plan was to keep you alive, I didn't think too much further. I mean, I made a deal that favoured me and not them but I didn't think too much on the specifics aside from leaving me room to enact revenge if you died." Sanji admits a little sheepishly.

"Well I'm not dead. And I can't let this deal break until I'm convinced that they won't just summon you back and try and kill you again afterwards, but I can't keep you here forever because you'll starve. Can you apply to some higher demon authority to change your name or something?" Zoro asks hopefully.

"I think you know the answer to that." Sanji tells him gently.

"I know, I know. Your name is your soul manifested as a word, but maybe you could argue that you're a different person than you were when you were born and just get, I don't know, a slight spelling change. Enough for their summoning spell not to work." Zoro says.

"Zoro, my soul is the unchangeable part of me. That part that survives when nothing else does." Sanji tells him, getting closer to Zoro and running his hands through the green hair there.

"Yeah, but..." Zoro tries again.

"Say my name Zoro, really say it." Sanji orders him.

Zoro hesitates but he eventually does speak Sanji's name. Not in the mere human reproduction of sound that he usually does, but with all the emphasis that he uses to summon him. Sanji feels it like a thousand hands smoothing over his skin and dragging him to Zoro, it feels like Zoro has perfectly prised his ribcage apart and kissed his very heart, it feels both like being owned entirely by him and being freer than he ever has been.

He opens his eyes, feeling a little dazed and stupidly happy. It's so much stronger with Zoro now than it used to be.

"Do you think I can change that name?" Sanji asks quietly and Zoro shakes his head softly.

"So... from what I see, I have two choices. I either get them to accept us and agree to not hurt you or..." Zoro trails off and rubs at his temples, looking incredibly stressed.

"Or?" Sanji prompts.

"Or I work out a memory erasing charm that will make them forget both of us, but is strong enough that it'll stick to all of them despite their range of species. Of course the school would notice the charm, it's illegal to do, so I'd be arrested. The only way to avoid that is to charm all of them and disappear, drop out of school and run away. I don't know if I'd have to take my sister or not, it depends if she might trigger their memories. I know I couldn't bring myself to erase her memory of me." Zoro says, his voice deadly serious.

"You'd be a criminal on the run for the rest of your life. What about your future? You've worked so hard to be as good a witch as you are, you can't just throw all that away." Sanji protests.

"For your life I can." Zoro answers firmly.

"I can't let you do that Zoro." Sanji says. He's already diverted Zoro off of his demon hunter career path, which Sanji isn't exactly sorry about but it certainly was a big upheaval in the course of Zoro's life.

"Then we have to get them to like you. We have to get them to want to protect your life like they do mine." Zoro says seriously, he looks over at Sanji as the demon feels himself cringe.

"Hey, they like you and I've seen how bad for your health that is. I'm not exactly keen to be on that level with them." Sanji grimaces.

"Well if you want them to not get you killed then that's what you need. And face it, you've got a captive audience here. I don't know how long you can go without food and we need to start putting our efforts into one plan or the other." Zoro insists.

Sanji's tail flicks anxiously, only stopping when Zoro reaches out to cautiously touch it. At that point it snares its way around Zoro's fingers and up his wrist, the damn thing pretty much has a mind of its own. He hardly wants to be friends with these people, Brook was ironically spineless at breakfast, he didn't stand up for Zoro this morning but he didn't agree with the others either. That said Brook is still the least awful of the others and Sanji doesn't want to be friends with any of them.

He's also not happy with Zoro pushing the nuclear button on his life to save Sanji. He tries to imagine what that life will be like for him and Zoro. Forever wondering if the others are going to remember him and summon him, moving from place to place so that Zoro can avoid magical law enforcement for his crimes. It's not the life that Sanji wants for the man that he loves. Zoro's not going to live long so his short human years shouldn't be filled with hardship.

"Do I have to genuinely like them or just fake it?" Sanji asks unhappily.

"I don't know. I keep wondering the same thing." Zoro says with a sigh.

"I keep having these moments where I see them or hear them talking and I forget what they did, it's like the idea of it is too big to keep in my head. I don't like being angry at them, I don't like feeling like crap all of the time because of it." Zoro mutters and glares at the floor hard.

"But also they don't deserve your forgiveness?" Sanji guesses. He sure as shit hopes that's what Zoro means.

"Not without at least apologising." Zoro says with a nod.

Sanji leans back against the wall, his horns just scraping the paint. They're getting longer as his glamour fades and his body's natural ability to fake human gets more and more tired out without food. He has to make nice with Zoro's friends and get them to like him.

"You know I have no idea how to make people like me." Sanji says quietly.

"Isn't that part of your job?" Zoro asks him and laughs quietly. Sanji tightens his tail around Zoro's wrist for that smart remark, not enough to hurt of course. He wouldn't want to do that even without the deal getting in the way.

"I know how to make them want to fuck me, it's not the same." Sanji says snippily.

"Well, you made me like you pretty quickly." Zoro tells him, leaning back against the wall as well and pressing himself against Sanji's side.

"Yeah but I didn't hate you to start with like I do with them." Sanji sneers in distaste. He definitely didn't have anywhere near the kind of loathing for Zoro that he does for them.

"You figured it was my fault you'd be stuck on Earth, though I'm pretty sure your old man would have summoned you back and you kind of overreacted a little at first." Zoro points out.

"Hey, the previous time before that when I was stuck up here was when I nearly died from starvation. I wasn't thinking straight, and Zeff showing up on Earth could spark the end of the world, I didn't know if he'd be able to come at all. Plus people can't just summon me when I'm at work unless they have the clearance for that and- look it's more complicated than you're making out, fuck you very much!" Sanji snarls and Zoro laughs sweetly.

"Maybe we can hang out with Brook, he's a good guy I promise. He's a big fan of puns and he plays the violin. And maybe if the others see you being yourself around Brook then they'll see what I see in you." Zoro says softly. Sanji looks sidelong and him and sees the gentle way that Zoro is watching him. Zoro really does love him, Sanji isn't sure what he did to deserve such a thing but it's the strongest feature of Zoro's species. It's almost overwhelming to feel.

"Well, I hope they don't see exactly what you see. I don't want to date the rest of them." Sanji teases.

"Good. I don't want to share." Zoro laughs.

"Okay, fine, I'll go talk to your lich friend. You study or something, I'll let you know if your cool sister shows up." Sanji declares, untangling himself from Zoro and hopping up off of the bed.

"You're going to go right now?" Zoro asks, clearly surprised.

"Things you don't want to do don't get any more appealing by putting them off." Sanji says wisely, as if it's not just the kind of thing that Zeff routinely lectures him on when Sanji is procrastinating with chores that he doesn't want to do.

"Well, okay then." Zoro nods and goes to pick up one of his books that he unpacked. He settles on the bed to read, he's stretched out on his front and his shirt is riding up a little in the back. Sanji's hands itch to rub the exposed skin. He's given plenty of sensual massages in his time and he's damn good at it. Would Zoro like that or would it be too sexual for him? Surely the sexual part of it is in the intent and the amount of clothes kept on, right? Damnit, all he wants is to make Zoro feel good and make him relax, he deserves that.

Sanji resists that particular temptation and leaves the relative safety of Zoro's room. Out in the hallway he can hear people talking downstairs, but none of the voices are Brook's. With that in mind Sanji goes past the stairs and instead goes to the room that he suspects is Brook's from what the man said the night before. Sanji knocks uneasily on the door twice and waits, after a moment it opens and he looks up into the bare skull of the occupant.

"Sanji, I didn't expect to see you." Brook remarks with some surprise in his tone.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I didn't expect to be at your door either." Sanji admits.

"Is Zoro okay?" Brook asks.

"He's fine, he's studying and waiting for Kuina to get here." Sanji replies. Look at him, holding a whole conversation with Brook all by himself. Does the man like him yet? Can Sanji call it a job done and leave? Please?

"I see." Brook nods thoughtfully, his afro wobbling slightly with the movement. Sanji wonders how it's still attached to his skull but Sanji vaguely remembers that liches can choose to retain certain parts of themselves. Or that might have been an explanation Sanji made up when he was a kid bored out of his mind in class and confronted with pictures of lich who still had breasts despite being skeletal elsewhere.

"Please, come in." Brook offers, stepping aside and holding open his door for Sanji.

Sanji hesitates but eventually goes inside. If Brook tries to hurt him then the deal is off and Sanji knows that he can take down one lich solo if he has to. Not to mention that Zoro is just down the hall and would clearly come to his aid.

Brook's room is very sparsely decorated and the few ways in which it is decorated is mainly with photographs. Around his full length mirror there are tonnes of photos tucked into the frame of the mirror. Pictures of Brook and his friends together over the years, Zoro looks noticeably younger in some of them. They all look so happy.

"I have a good memory, but the more you remember something the more you alter it. Photographs are proof that something happened, they make you remember things as they really were." Brook explains soberly and walks to his window. He has a small shelf under his with a kettle and a few mugs and copious amounts of boxes.

"Tea?" Brook offers.

"Sure." Sanji says with a nod.

He looks at the photographs again. Brook is old. Not as old as Sanji, but he used to be human, he must feel incredibly ancient. Likely all of the people that he knew when he was younger are dead and nothing more than the memories of which Brook spoke. Someday everyone in these pictures but Brook will be dead. Before Zoro fell in love with him Sanji was facing the same fate with Zoro.

"Is it hard being older than them?" Sanji asks on impulse and Brook flicks the kettle on.

"Is it hard being older than Zoro?" Brook asks back and Sanji shakes his head.

"No, demons don't really age the same way humans do. We don't think of it the same. We have children, adults and really old demons. It's basically a huge middle category and everyone else a small sliver on either side. Zoro's an adult, I'm an adult, it's about the same. There's a few things but I mostly don't notice. But you… you used to be human, you must think of age like humans do, right?" Sanji presses and Brook nods.

"It is hard sometimes, knowing that I will outlive all of them. Well, not that I'm alive now but, ho ho, you know what I mean." Brook laughs, though there is little mirth in it.

"Well, if it wasn't for the fact that it'd make Zoro hate me I'd be perfectly happy with you outliving all of them today." Sanji mutters angrily.

"They're good people." Brook says and picks up several boxes of tea and holds them out to Sanji, he picks one at random.

"They don't seem like it." Sanji says and peers at a photo of Zoro and Usopp playing in a pool. Or Sanji assumes that it's Usopp, he doesn't suppose that you get many seals in backyard pools. Zoro is frozen laughing brightly in the photo as the seal splashes him.

"They're young, I'm afraid. When I was young and human schools like ours never let in anyone who wasn't human, or at least who couldn't pass for it. Things are different now of course but still the same, I am back at the same school still working to graduate and I think I'll have taken the longest of anyone ever! People like to think that there's no more problems anymore, no one else who should be there is being kept out. Like you said, there's always monsters." Brook says sadly and pours the boiling water into two cups.

"They don't like to think that they're like the people who kept them out. That they finally climbed up the ladder only to pull it up after them. I don't think any of them have killed a demon but they've trained to and if you're just a person then what does that make them?" Brook asks with a sigh and sits down onto a small stool. Sanji notices that Brook has pulled another out for him, he walks over and sits down.

"Monsters, I guess." Sanji says and wraps his hands around the fine teacup. His is different from Brook's and all of the stacked cups seem mismatched, it's charming in its own way. The one that Sanji has is a fine green with gold around the rim.

"Zoro bought me that one." Brook says pleasantly and Sanji holds it up and smiles.

"It's a sweet gift." Sanji remarks.

"He's a sweet man, deep down at least. But I think you know that, don't you?" Brook asks with a hint of amusement in his tone. Sanji reddens and nods his head.

"Franky is too, he's caring and observant. Chopper worries terribly about people and Usopp is always trying to be as good as he can for his friends in case they decide that he's not worth their time, not that we ever would think that of course. They're all good people. They're just scared and they love Zoro and they're frightened that they did something terrible, and that's okay if you're a monster but if you're not then they have to face that. They're young." Brook says sadly.

"That's a bullshit excuse." Sanji says firmly and drinks a swig of his tea in anger.

"It is but it's the truth." the lich nods and Sanji scowls at the tea.

"Well that does me no good. I'm supposed to be making friends with these jackasses so that we can end the deal and I can go home and they won't summon me back and we don't end up with rampant murder happening on one side or the other." Sanji exclaims in frustration.

"That would be ideal." Brook agrees and leans back and looks as thoughtful as it is possible to for someone with no eyes.

"The problem, I think is that they see you as an outsider." Brook says tapping the rim of his china cup thoughtfully. Sanji is sure there's a joke about bone china in there but he's not the type to make it, who even would?

"I am an outsider to them. They're all part human and I'm zero parts human. I've had a lot human parts in me but that doesn't seem to be better." Sanji snorts and Brook laughs loudly.

"Yes, I think not somehow. But I have an idea, leave it with me." Brook declares and downs his tea in one gulp. Sanji is not sure where that tea goes and from his experience with skeletal demon or demons with no conceivable way to hold liquids he's learnt never to ask.

"Well, uh, okay then. Thank you for the tea." Sanji says and drinks the last of his and awkwardly leaves as Brook tidies up and sets a laptop down on the table.

Zoro is far happier when Kuina arrives and brings him plenty more of his things. Clean clothes to wear, books to continue studying, even some food. It's all going well until they start to argue over the state of his apartment, which Zoro argues is from his friends fault for trashing the place. Kuina argues that his friends likely did not make a metric tonne of dirty laundry and cram it into several laundry baskets with the logic that if it's not flowing onto the floor then he doesn't need to do laundry.

Sanji excuses himself from the sibling bickering. He even attempts to help Kuina bring things in by levitating heavy boxes, only his magic cuts out on him from being so low that the things fall to the floor. Nami makes a mean joke about Sanji not being able to 'get it up' and in revenge the next day he melts all of the springs in her mattress, hides all of her shoelaces and removes the bristles from her toothbrush. It's not the hardcore smiting the demons specialise in but he consoles himself with the thought that giving her the anger equivalent of death of a thousand cuts is probably going to be decently satisfying.

Zoro has been awake for three days and is doing fine when Brook gathers them all in the living room of Kaya's mansion, she has turned out to be a surprisingly pleasant girl given her choice of company. Zoro for his part has been giving flat or no responses to his friends whenever they interact with him, aside from Brook.

"I know that things have not been great lately." Brook announces to all of them, who are sat on sofas and chairs around the lich who stands on the coffee table.

"That's an understatement." Sanji says, leaning across Zoro's shoulders from his perch on the arm of the armchair that Zoro is sat in.

"Get off the coffee table, man." Usopp whines from his place in loser central on the sofa.

"But I have just the plan that we need to turn things around!" Brook declares, taking no notice of Usopp's request.

"What is it?" Luffy asks excitedly.

"It's… a job! Just think of it, all of us together, fighting evil!" Brook says cheerfully.

"Brook, we're trying to fight evil right here." Franky says pointedly, looking at Sanji.

"Suck my dick." Sanji snaps back angrily.

"There are so many reasons that won't happen." Robin interjects and then looks up at Brook.

"Brook, I don't think that an outside job is the kind of thing that we should be doing." Robin says to Brook, a little more calmly than she had been speaking to Sanji.

"And I don't want to do anything with you people. And I'd agree to you, me and Sanji if just three people on a job wasn't a really bad idea, Brook." Zoro states.

"Why are you so much nicer to Brook than us, huh?" Luffy demands angrily, getting up off of the sofa.

"Because he apologised and admitted he was wrong, if the deal could be broken piecemeal Sanji would have let him out of it already. The rest of you are still being assholes so I still don't want to have anything to do with you." Zoro retorts.

"Zoro, trust me, I think this will be a good idea." Brook insists and Sanji looks at Zoro as he sighs deeply and slides a little lower down in his chair.

"Fine." Zoro says grudgingly and Brook claps his bony hands together in excitement.

"I also think that this is going to be a good idea." Usopp says thoughtfully.

"What? Why?" Nami asks in alarm.

"Zoro has a bodyguard who has to protect him, he's safer than ever. And if he fails to do so then the deal is off and we can throw him back in that circle again." Usopp grins.

"Your badly written deal doesn't work that way." Zoro sighs.

"Unfortunately I have to agree with Zoro. Sanji is entirely allowed to allow us or even Zoro to come to harm as long as it can't be argued that he arranged that harm to happen and even that's shakey. And as Zoro pointed out before the penalty for breaking the deal is… the deal isn't on anymore. It really was badly worded, but I panicked." Nami says morosely.

Sanji wishes that he could be more smug about it but as long as Zoro has any feelings for these people their wellbeing is too much of a risk for Sanji to gamble with. If he allows a werewolf or whatever they're going off to fight to tear them apart and Zoro resents or blames him for it then it may well kill their bond and also Sanji. He has to be Zoro's bodyguard and theirs if he wants to live, it's just not Nami's poorly thought out deal compelling him.

"I'll come and I'll protect Zoro if I need to, not that I think he needs me much. But I make no promises to be helpful on your mission." Sanji says, well aware that pettiness is about the level of evil that he's able to inflict on these fuckers.

"Great. Brook, what kind of job is this anyway?" Luffy asks and Brook turns to look at him.

"A small village a few hours flight from here has had people going missing, apparently a lot of the other residents are also acting really weird about it. Refusing to talk about the missing people, acting like nothing is wrong. Eight people are missing already and the police haven't turned up any mundane reason for it." Brook explains.

"It sounds like they need our help, demon or not we should go." Franky says seriously.

"It could be anything, though." Luffy grumbles.

"You mean it could be something like cursed items and not someone you get to punch in the face." Chopper laughs and Luffy pouts, that'd be a yes then.

"Yeah. But, sure, we'll go." Luffy nods.

"Alright, everyone gather your things and meet back down here in fifteen minutes." Nami declares and everyone splits up, heading to their own rooms. Brook of course follows Sanji and Zoro up to their floor cheerfully.

"I think this will give them a chance to see you in a new light and realise their misconceptions of you on their own. Me telling them that I think you're not a bad person is not going to change their minds, that old adage about 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink' applies here I think. But this could make them change independently." Brook says.

"I hope so." Zoro says, and he sounds so tired.

Sanji lingers in the hallway as Zoro and Brook go off to gather their things in their rooms, books or supplies that they may need. He hates that every time Zoro thinks of how his friends are treating them both it seems to hurt him all over again. Zoro doesn't seem like the kind of man to take small things personally but this is so huge that it seems to keep opening that wound again and again. He loves his friends and right now the strength of that connection is wounding him. Sanji supposes that this kind of thing is humanity all over, love their biggest strength and greatest downfall.

Sanji has family and he has some work buddies but nothing like Zoro has with these people. He's not totally sure that he can relate. He's also pretty sure that there's not much he can do to fix this. They either have to apologise to him and try to heal their bond or Zoro has to let time pass so his connection to them can die. Neither of those are especially helpful right now.

Before too long Zoro comes out of his room with his backpack on and his broom over one shoulder. He looks at Sanji curiously and so Sanji bounces to his feet and flashes Zoro a smile. He doesn't need to make the man worry on top of everything else that he has going on.

"Are you planning on cleaning your room with that? I should message your sister and let her know, she will be pleased." Sanji teases him and Zoro rolls his eyes.

"Shut up and follow me." Zoro groans as he moves past Sanji and heads down the stairs.

As Zoro walks past him Sanji can smell, well, Zoro. That mix of his shower gel, whatever he washes his clothes with and the few magical ingredients that he keeps in his bag like dried mint. It's a certain constellation of scents that blend together and get labelled as 'Zoro' in Sanji's mind. In the same way that cooking oil, pepper and horse hair are Zeff and home to him.

With Zoro still in the air, as clear as the magical green trail from a few days ago, and watching him walk down the stairs Sanji feels… hungry. Not the kind that can be resolved with the food in the kitchen downstairs or even the demonic food from Zeff's kitchen. No, this is a more… incubus specific hunger. It's inaccurate to say that incubi and succubi have sex drives in the same way that humans do, no they have sex drives in the same way that humans have a drive to eat. Which is to say that his desire for sex doesn't define him but if he goes long enough without it then it'll start to stick in his mind. And besides Zoro is very, very, attractive. Sanji has never been so repulsed by someone physically to be unable to do his job but he certainly is aware that he'd prefer Zoro to most people that he's slept with.

Zoro pauses at the bottom of the stairs and talks to Brook, saying something about something. Sanji isn't listening, he's just looking at Zoro's mouth wishfully. He wants…

Sanji shakes himself out of it. Damnit, no, sure he's hungry and that's not his fault but he cannot have sex with Zoro. Reason number one being that Zoro doesn't want to and reason two being that even if he did it would kill them both, making it very short term gratification followed by certain death. Fuck, he needs to eat and soon because he cannot be following Zoro around looking at him like he's lunch.

"Hey, are you coming with or not?" Zoro shouts up the stairs to him.

"I'm not able to stay here alone anyway so I don't have a choice. Don't pitch a fit." Sanji shouts back and jogs down the stairs.

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Zoro asks as Sanji comes to a stop by him.

"What? No. Although I have heard stories. But I'm sure you'll be fine and if not I'm here to help, we're a team." Sanji assures him.

"Aww!" Brook says teasingly and Zoro punches him in his boney shoulder and clearly immediately regrets it.

"I like these jobs, we get to earn money and help people out. They all met and rescued me on one of these jobs. We've rehabilitated werewolves and vampires and all sorts, relocated magical creatures and even exorcised a few ghosts." Brook says cheerfully as they head down the next flight of stairs.

"Killed any demons?" Sanji asks warily.

"No." Zoro says firmly.

"We can always hope." Robin says as they come to the bottom of the stairs. Sanji glares at the siren and gets similar glares back from the rest of the group, it seems like everyone was there ahead of them.

"Oh good, we're all here!" Brook says with forced cheerfulness and walks over to the table and unfolds a map.

"This is where we're going, our contact there is a Ms Greaves. I tried to contact her just now to let her know that we're on the way but I couldn't get through to her. Hopefully she'll call me back in the air or we'll just meet her there." Brook explains and they all look over the map.

"How is Sanji getting there?" Luffy asks, looking Sanji up and down.

"I'm guessing that it's too far to do what you did before?" Zoro asks quietly and Sanji nods. Even if he did have enough magic left to pull that off it would be a really inefficient way of getting there.

"Well, you can ride with me." Zoro offers.

"I might stop you getting lost." Sanji teases and Zoro's expression sours.

"No way are you riding with Zoro, I don't trust you together." Usopp pipes up, getting between them. Sanji growls but he doesn't seem deterred, it doesn't help that the threat is pretty toothless given their deal.

"Funny, I don't trust any of you with him." Zoro responds.

"As fun as hearing this argument over and over is, would everyone be happy if Sanji was to ride on my broom with me?" Brook suggests loudly. Everyone seems to look back and forth at each other, trying to gauge everyone's reaction to that idea.

"Sanji?" Zoro prompts.

"Yeah, I'm happy with Brook. The dead guy's cool." Sanji agrees with a nod.

"Yo ho ho! That's because I have no blood to keep me warm!" Brook trills with laughter and several of the group groan.

"Great, then let's go. Lead the way Brook." Zoro says and the lich brightens, sweeping his own broom up over his shoulder and leading them all outside.

Once outdoors in the clean air outside the house Brook holds his broom at hip height and climbs on. Sanji does the same, resting one hand on the broom itself and one on Brook's skeletal hip. The lich kicks them up into the air with a burst of magic from the broom and they're soaring right away.

The others take to the sky behind them and Sanji's tail curls around the bristles of the broom as he cautiously looks down at the ground below. They're pretty high up and the fall wouldn't kill him but it would still hurt a whole lot. He watches as roads and houses spiral out in organic patterns, becoming organised and gridlike as they get more dense around towns. It's not the same way that Sanji's home is laid out, everything here is on the same level, even if the elevation changes. Multi-floor buildings are the closest humans get to the truly three dimensional makeup of Sanji's home.

He can see people walking here and there, cars and busses shipping people to their destinations. Restaurants, schools and office buildings are laid out. It's strange seeing humans just living en masse, without interacting with them sexually they're still pretty alien to Sanji.

After a while the novelty of even that passes and craning his neck to see Zoro is difficult, besides Zoro can't hear him over the wind anyway. The trip becomes… boring.

"This is the least fun I've ever had riding anyone's anything." Sanji bemoans. He wasn't expecting Brook to be able to hear him but the man bursts into uproarious laughter and nearly loses control of the broom and plummets them a good twenty feet through the air before he gets a hold of himself enough to fly right again.

Zoro made a valiant effort to dive after them but by the time he got there Brook was flying fine.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Zoro yells over the wind but Brook shakes his head, still laughing.

Zoro rolls his eyes a little bit and falls back on his broom to reassuringly stroke Sanji's hair before he falls back into formation with the others. It takes another hour after that for them to get there.

The village of whatever this place is (Sanji hadn't been paying that much attention before) is set in the middle of fucking nowhere, surrounded by approximately far too many shitty trees which entirely impede Brook's ability to land and let Sanji get the hell off.

He scrambles off as soon as he can and settles himself at Zoro's side as the others go over the details of the case again and where their contact is. Sanji is not paying attention at all, instead he is focusing on casually and calmly sliding his arms around Zoro's waist and getting as close to him as he can. He never used to be physically affectionate with people outside of sex and even that was very different, but dating Zoro has got him hooked on casual affection. Really, Zoro is the one doing the seducing in their relationship. With his casual arm around Sanji's shoulder when they watch movies or holding his hand, not to mention when Zoro kisses him. He's totally ruined Sanji.

"Are you even listening?" Zoro asks quietly.

"I'm your bodyguard, I'm guarding your body. I didn't agree to be helpful." Sanji says into the back of Zoro's shirt.

"But you could be." Zoro points out and reaches back to tug on one of Sanji's horns.

"Nothing in it for me." Sanji replies and nuzzles the back of Zoro's neck. He's good right here, thanks.

"We could get out of here faster." Zoro says persuasively and Sanji gives that a little thought.

"I'm so eager to get back on Brook's death broom of simultaneous terror and boredom. Pass." Sanji says flatly.

"So you're not going to help?" Luffy asks and Sanji lets go of Zoro to look at the straw hat wearing human.

"Do you want me to help?" Sanji asks.

"Well, yeah." Luffy says with a slight frown.

"Oh, that's good to know. I'm absolutely not helping you ever, go drown." Sanji chirps and turns his back on the man.

"Weren't you mean to be building bridges?" Zoro whispers, giving Sanji a pointed look.

"But burning them is so much more satisfying." Sanji whines. Zoro shakes his head and pulls his bag off of his back and takes out a woolen hat and puts it on Sanji's head, taking care to cover his horns entirely.

"Keep this on, it'll keep anyone else from trying to trap you in a circle and destroy you again." Zoro tells him and Sanji winds his tail around his waist and tugs his sweater a little lower to cover it, that's good enough to pass for human-ish.

"Now come on, let's get this over with." Zoro says and hefts his backpack once more and walks off.

"Zoro, it's the other way." Brook calls. Distantly Zoro swears and walks back past Sanji and their whole group sets off into the villiage proper to start their detective work on whatever local magical thing is causing all these troubles. Sanji just follows Zoro and tries not to feel too hungry.

Sanji leans over, resting his head on Zoro's shoulder as Nami talks to the terrified local man who is insisting that there is nothing wrong here, no ma'am you can all go now please. This conversation is boring and these people are boring.

A prickle of being watched runs over Sanji's skin and he turns his head and looks at the nearby woodland. Up until now Sanji has sensed jack shit in the way of the supernatural. He squints at the trees, there's nothing there but there's a conspicuous nothing there, like his eyes are skipping over what is. He focuses and he sees the figure. Ah, so that's what this is. He makes eye contact with it, with him in fact, and wraps his arm around Zoro's tightly. He flashes a polite smile but the figure does not return it.

Hmm.

Curiously he hums a good few bars of an old childhood song, one he remembers Zeff humming in the kitchen. Greensleeves. The figure smiles and Sanji stops with a polite little nod, the creature returns it and Sanji stops looking and focuses back on the group who are now debating amongst themselves about what to do. Zoro is mostly refusing to participate.

"So, not that I care about your mystery or feel like helping but I just want to clarify something. If whatever is causing this trouble tries to harm Zoro I can kill it, but I can eat it first, right?" Sanji says and they all stare at him.

"As in have sex with it?" Zoro asks in surprise.

"I could but I meant far more literally. Not that I have any beef with this creature, not unless it harms you of course. I'd just hate to see something that I can actually eat go to waste." Sanji sighs wistfully.

"I don't think we can actually stop him if it's not human." Usopp whispers too loudly.

"It's the circle of life! Sanji, do you know what is going on here?" Brook asks congenially and Sanji nods.

"Care to share?" Zoro prompts and Sanji shakes his head.

"I would be happier with you giving up and going home so that you're not in danger at all. I have no intention of helping unless you're in mortal danger." Sanji informs him and Zoro frowns.

"Well I would like it if you just told us and we could deal with whatever this is and go back to the house." Zoro says with a frown.

"And letting you tangle with this is getting awfully close to putting you in harm's way, my hands are tied." Sanji replies easily.

"That is a very charitable interpretation of that very loose command." Zoro tells him flatly and Sanji shrugs, not sorry at all.

"Well, I say we keep knocking on doors and asking questions." Franky suggests and the others nod.

The village is small, he can see from one end of it to the other more or less in one go. Luffy knocks sharply on a door and a thin, shaking woman opens it and looks at everyone in fear.

"Hello?" She says after a false start or two. She's careful with her words.

"Hello, we're from the university. Ms Greaves called us here but we can't find her house, she said that there had been disappearances lately and we're here to help. Do you know where she lives or could you tell us anything?" Robin asks with a smile.

"I- no I can't. There's nothing here and everything is good. You- Ms Greaves doesn't live in the village anymore." the woman says shakily. Sanji smiles, he bets she doesn't live here anymore.

"Mmm, Zoro, you brought your sword didn't you?" Sanji asks quietly.

"Of course I did." Zoro answers.

"Great, great. Uh, remind me what that sword of yours is made of again please?" Sanji whispers, tugging on Zoro's arm.

"Iron. Why?" Zoro asks with a frown.

"Couldn't remember." Sanji answers.

"Is that import- oh. OH. Miss, tell me about the forest." Zoro says quickly. The woman's eyes go wide and the door slams shut.

Zoro stares at the door and then backs away, turning to look at the other houses.

"What is it?" Brook asks curiously.

"That house is deserted and that one there is where our contact lived, or that's the address we have for her. What is the difference between those two houses and this one?" Zoro says as he pulls his sword out of his bag.

"They're newer?" Nami guesses.

"She didn't ask us our names or give us hers, she didn't invite us in and there are iron nails in her door and in that house over that way, that one has iron gates but those empty houses have plastic doors. Also, Sanji just asked me what my sword was made of." Zoro growls angrily and looks around, peering at the woodland accusingly.

"You don't mean…" Robin pauses and looks around uneasily "fair folk?"

"Yes I do." Zoro mutters and then looks right at Sanji.

"You didn't tell me? You know how I feel about them." Zoro says accusingly.

"I basically told you, don't give me that. Besides, you know I'd rather you were far away from here and I know you well enough to know that my chances of getting you out of here willingly are slim to none now. But whatever, if you wanna stay and fight these things then like I said just let me eat." Sanji says with a shrug and Zoro mutters unhappily.

"Oh, we… we should go." Usopp whispers.

"We can't leave these people at their mercy." Zoro snaps.

"Zoro's right, we need to stop this." Luffy agrees.

"We know nothing about how many there are though, or how we can find them." Robin says grimly.

"But, we do have a metal man, a guy with an iron sword and a demon contractually bound to protect at least Zoro, and the rest of us if he wants to keep Zoro happy. This is probably the best chance we'll have here." Nami points out with a sly smile.

"You really do know how to spoil a man's appetite." Sanji mutters, he doesn't like being her weapon.

"Chopper, do you think that you can track them? Woodland is kind of your thing." Luffy asks, looking at the little reindeer.

"Or he can tell us." Nami says, looking right at Sanji.

"I never said I would help." Sanji sneers at her and she bares her teeth at him.

"Please?" Zoro asks softly, touching Sanji's shoulder and that's it, he's done for. He steps out of their group a little ways and looks into the woodland, he does more than that, he _sees_. But there's nothing there to see which is weird. Perhaps he scared it off?

"Huh. It was there earlier, watching us. But it's not there now." Sanji muses as he looks back to Zoro with a shrug.

"Damnit." Zoro sighs and runs his hands through his hair before turning back to his ex-friends with a frown.

"Everyone knows the rules for the fair folk, right?" He asks and Sanji sighs, he's still too nice to them. But then again Sanji has no choice but to protect them so it doesn't make much difference, but Zoro needn't care so much after what they did.

"Don't eat anything." Luffy says, making a face and Sanji gets the feeling that one is hard for him.

"Don't enter their space if you can help it and never without asking. Don't apologise or say thank you." Nami adds.

"Don't give any full names, in fact no names at all would be best." Brook chips in.

"Don't stare, don't follow them." Robin says as well.

Sanji waits but the list does not continue, evidently humans don't know all of the rules.

"We need to find them and kill them. Iron kills them." Zoro states and Franky grins.

"Oh good." The man says and Sanji stares in fascinated horror as the man peels the skin off of his hands to reveal gleaming metal underneath, Sanji sniffs and he can tell that a good deal of it is iron wrought into there.

"I'm going to go set up some spells to track them, some protection things now that I know what we're up against. Let me know if you see anything, okay? Don't wander off." Zoro warns him and crouches down to start pulling things out of his bag. Sanji sits down next to him and stretches his legs out.

"Love, I have nothing to fear in these woods. Half starved or not I can take care of myself out here." Sanji boasts and Zoro nods absently and shoves his wand between his teeth as he pulls out a pen. He starts to draw on his arm and after a few moments seems satisfied and replaces the pen in his bag.

"Good, I'd just hate to lose you." Zoro says quietly and rummages in his bag for something else. Sanji feels his face colouring and that intangible connection between them gains another thread of strength. His heart flutters and his breath catches at the physical sensation of Zoro's affection for him, he feels… unworthy.

Sanji sits up and wraps his arms around his knees. The rest of Zoro's friends are making their own wards and spells right on this woman's front lawn. Nami is even writing some on Luffy's knuckles. Sanji wonders what this would look like if he could see platonic love as he can this golden thread between him and Zoro, would Zoro be bound to these people still even though he is angry at them? He clearly still cares if they live or not.

"Come on." Zoro says, snapping Sanji out of his thoughts. He's standing before Sanji and holding his hand out to pull Sanji to his feet. Sanji takes his hand and Zoro pulls him up sharply, their bodies gently colliding. Sanji's hand rests on Zoro's hip and unease curls inside of his chest. Fae are dangerous and Zoro has first hand experience of just how risky they are, Sanji's instinct is to just get Zoro the hell away from here because he doesn't care about what's happening to the people here. But Zoro cares and so Sanji is left playing defence. He can't fail him, he just can't. But inside is the small gnawing fear that there might be too many fae for Sanji to fend off, or he might be more weakened than he thought, or something else could go wrong.

"Be careful." Sanji whispers and curls his arm around Zoro's waist.

"Hey! Cut that out." Usopp barks and Sanji glares at the selkie.

"Come on." Zoro says and moves ahead.

Luffy starts to lead their troupe through the village and Sanji can't help but note that Nami and Robin look notably less human than usual and far more ready for a fight. All of them have their wands at the ready except for Chopper who has transformed into a full deer and is scenting the air for any sign of the fair folk. Silver charms with small baubles of herbs are strung through his antlers and it looks almost beautiful in its own way.

They walk from door to door for a good hour but no one will answer to them. It becomes increasingly evident that all of the old houses and buildings in this small village are unusually protected by iron and the modified or newer ones without it are mostly empty. If Sanji had to guess he would say that the fae used to be here, either at the time of the village being founded or very early on and then for whatever reason they either left or slept. And then people started to forget, they abandoned their charms and their iron. So when the fae returned people began to vanish.

"Anything?" Zoro whispers to Sanji as they walk.

"This isn't really my thing. I can tell you that they're around but not close enough for me to help. You forget, my kind don't exactly have to hunt for their meals. It's not a skill I really have." Sanji whispers back.

"Yeah, we know what your skills are." Nami sneers and Sanji looks over his shoulder to glare at her yellow avian eyes. He freezes when he feels a thrum of magic run through him, making his marrow shudder in his bones.

"Wait." He says quickly but Luffy is already walking around the corner and right into a man who he knocks to the ground. The red haired man's bag of groceries goes flying, a bottle of milk shattering on the cobbles.

"Oh, crap. I'm s-" Luffy starts to say but Sanji lunges, grabbing Luffy and jamming his hand in Luffy's mouth. Don't apologize to the fair folk, it's as good as stating that you've wronged them and being in their debt is as bad as being in a deal with a demon. For fuck's sake, they just went over this.

"Don't say it." Sanji hisses in his ear.

The man on the floor is staring right at Sanji and he gets to his feet slowly, clearly unharmed. His eyes are inhumanly green, inhuman being the key word. Sanji stares back at him, unblinking. He carefully removes his hand from Luffy's mouth and shoves him behind and towards the rest of them.

Sanji doesn't dare break eye contact but he sees Zoro raise his sword and he quickly holds up his hand to halt him.

"The groceries disappeared." Robin whispers behind him but Sanji keeps staring.

"What are you?" The man finally asks in a quietly musical voice.

"More than you can handle." Sanji replies and the fae laughs, his eyes mirthless.

"A pack of hunters in my town, I hope people will miss you and more will come." the fae says slyly and Sanji feels the push of magic over his skin, the aura meant to terrify him and freeze him with fear. Behind him he hears the others react to it but from what he can tell Zoro is fine.

"You can't handle me, much less what would come looking for me in the unlikely event that you did manage to." Sanji sneers and the fae shakes his head.

Sanji reaches up and pulls his hat off, his horns showing and he lets his tail uncurl from under his sweater. The fae jerks back and hisses at him like a cat, a gesture Sanji returns only he knows that he sounds more intimidating.

"You should be below, filthy demon." The fae snarls, his features are becoming sharper and sharper as his pretty glamour drops.

"How about you leave this place and I don't _drag you down there with me_." He threatens.

"I…" the fae hesitates and finally his eyes break from Sanji's, his unnaturally green eyes scan the group and freeze when they hit Zoro. Sanji steps between them with a feral snarl.

"This green one, he's ours… oh you got away, didn't you? Escaped the hunt. How rare." the fae purrs, leaning around him to look at Zoro.

"Yeah I came back to even the score a little." Zoro says and points his sword at the fae.

"You're not going anywhere near him, I will kill you if you try." Sanji promises and the fae's eyes flick between Sanji and Zoro. The fae smiles and Sanji notes that he has too many teeth to be human.

"Oh, clever, _clever_ , boy. You caught yourself a pet demon, didn't you? I must have you, I must." the bastard simpers.

"I am no one's pet and you are not getting him!" Sanji snaps and shoves the fae backwards with a push of his hand and a burst of fire from his palm. Not that it singes the man, just propels him ever so slightly.

Sanji watches as the fae's already sharp and less than human features warp even more with anger. He pulls his hand back to strike Sanji and the demon reaches for a nasty spell that will put this fucking fae's insides on his outsides only… only it doesn't catch. If Sanji was a car the key would be turning in the ignition with absolutely no life in the engine at all. He doesn't have the magic for this, he's too hungry.

He has a half second of 'well, fuck' before the fae's hand smacks into him and claws through the perma glamour that all incubi and succubi wear as skin. Sanji crashes into the ground with a bang and sees stars. He rolls onto his side and shakes his head, his horns are far weightier and bigger now and as he focuses his eyes he sees his long clawed hands pressed into the dirt and his fingers ashy at the ends.

"Fuck." Sanji groans and lava drips from his lips onto the ground with a sizzle.

He stands up awkwardly and sees that he is not in the village where he was before, he's on a pavestone guided path through a forest and it feels like summer here. Or more accurately, it feels like Summer, with a capital S. The fae appears before him, laughing smugly. Sanji hears the distant sound of hounds barking and shudders. Also out of nowhere comes Zoro and the rest of the semi humans, Sanji closes his eyes with a groan. Don't follow the fair folk, are these people incapable of following basic rules?

"Whoa." Luffy gasps, seeing Sanji. Zoro skids to a halt and stares.

"See what he really is now?" Nami says and Zoro nods. Sanji cringes at first but it takes a moment for him to realise that the look on Zoro's face is not negative but wondrous.

"I thought you sex demons were supposed to be pretty." the fae man giggles, circling Sanji.

"Hey, I'd still do me." Sanji replies lazily and spits a stream of lava at the fae who dodges. A tree catches fire and then transforms into a swarm of butterflies.

"I've never killed a demon before, it's going to be fun." he sighs wistfully.

"I've never eaten a fae before, I wonder how you taste." Sanji replies calmly. He rotates his wrist a little and draws a spell to himself, yeah he has less energy than he would like but now that he's in as true a form as he can be he's a hell of a lot more efficient.

"You think you can win against me? This is my turf!" he snaps angrily and Sanji smiles as he stamps a foot into the ground. Fire bursts out from his foot, scorching and splitting the earth below him. A little of hell spreading out from where he stands, the magically aided greenery around him shrivels and wilts with famine magic that he picked up from simply being around Zeff for so long.

"Your turf?" Sanji asks, looking around at the spreading hellscape, "It doesn't look that way."

The fae splutters in outrage at what Sanji has done with his ethereal place. Sanji just paces, waiting for him to attack again. No matter how much he's terraformed this part it is still the fae's land and there is far more magical shit that his opponent can pull here that Sanji doesn't have the energy to disarm. No, this is going to be a bloody and brutal fight.

He sees Luffy spinning a charm around his wrist, the letters glowing in the light and all of them are putting something in their ears. He watches Zoro shift his sword from hand to hand to guide something into his ears. Robin is the only one not putting something into her ears and Sanji smiles as he realises what is about to happen.

Robin opens her mouth and begins to sing. It's a strange haunting tune and it makes the pinfeather spines sticking out of Sanji's back prickle with it. The lure of it doesn't affect his mind like it does other species, he has the wrong kind of brain. But it's enough to distract the fae, even if it doesn't actually work on him fully.

Sanji barrels across the gap between them and kicks fire into the fae's ribs, slamming him into the ground. The fae bounces back upright and hisses out a curse of transmutation, turning Sanji's blood to stone. A poor choice, Sanji is from hell and heat is what he is made of at his core. He can have lava for blood, he already has lava for spit right now so it doesn't slow him down one bit.

Luffy's fist flies out of nowhere, clocking the fae right in the jaw and Sanji laughs in delight to see how it stretches from where Luffy is. That's some charm alright, he didn't know human bodies could warp like that. Sanji slams into the startled fae and gores him in the shoulder with his demonic horns, they pierce right through his skin and do a good deal of damage if the cursing is any guide. The fae claws at Sanji's ribs and the two of them spring apart once more, circling each other again and again.

He lunges in and kicks the fae again, but the fae fires off a slow spell hamstringing him in the most literal way. He grabs Sanji's leg with one hand and Sanji catches a look at the hex that is forming around his other hand, he's not intimately familiar with their language but he's pretty goddamn sure that the spell is going to lose him that leg.

Or at least it would have if it landed.

Zoro's sword slices through the air and it turns out that iron really does cut through fae like butter as Zoro does his level best to make sure that this motherfucker can only count up to five from now on. The fae screams in agony and drops Sanji's leg. Sanji pounces, bowling him onto his back. He reaches back his hand and plunges it straight into the fae's ribcage. His hand closes around the pulsing, throbbing heart and Sanji grips it and _pulls_. He rips the still beating thing from the man's chest and stares at is as he sees the life energy just oozing from it. Sanji opens his mouth and bites into the still twitching heart, he has never tasted anything better in his entire life.


End file.
